Many, Many Meeses
by Nekkyou Hiryuu
Summary: Three Teenage Girls. Yu Yu Hakusho. The Fly Card. Many, many meeses. Mooses? Meese? Just read it.
1. Meeses Attack? Mooses? Meese?

Karen: *tilts head*  
  
Kelsey: *tilts Karen's head back to normal position* Your head needs duct-taping...  
  
Kia: *passes duct-tape*  
  
Karen: Thanks.   
  
Kia: You want the green, the yellow, the white, or the regular duct tape?  
  
Karen: Ooh..colors...greed.  
  
Kia: *tosses green duct tape*  
  
Kelsey: Greed...*shakes head* Don't get greedy!  
  
Karen: I MEANT green…*catches and duct tapes head back on* I'm not greedy!  
  
Kelsey: Give me the duct tape.  
  
Kia: *blinks and looks at picture of Jin* He's so cute, like a little kid...o.o Which color?  
  
Kelsey: Original, please.  
  
Kia: *tosses original to Kelsey*  
  
Kelsey: *tapes Karen's mouth shut*  
  
Karen: MMFFFF….MMFFFFFF!  
  
Kia: Ummm..Karen...? *sweatdrops*  
  
Kelsey: *laughs evilly*  
  
Karen: NUUUFFFFFFFF!  
  
Kia: *takes duct tape off carefully*  
  
Kelsey: *puts more on*  
  
Karen: HEYFFFFF…  
  
Kia: *looks over at Kelsey sternly*  
  
Kelsey: *looks back*  
  
Kia: Kelsey...  
  
Karen: FJLDFFFF.  
  
Kia: *takes off duct tape*  
  
Karen: Thank you  
  
Kelsey: *puts more on*  
  
Karen: FFFFF.  
  
Kia: -.-  
  
Kelsey: Moooooooose!  
  
Kia: Oh, no.  
  
Karen: *something like "I hate you Kelsey" comes out of mouth*  
  
Moose: ! *stampedes*  
  
Karen: *runs*   
  
Kia: EEEEEYYAAAAHHHHH!*runs*  
  
Moose: MOOOOOOOSE!!!! *runs into Karen...is stuck to duct tape*  
  
Kelsey: Uh...aaaaaaaah! *runs backwards*  
  
Kia: Holy crud....  
  
*something like "DAMNIT NOT AGAIN!" comes out of duct taped mouth*  
  
Moose: ! *picks up Kelsey*  
  
Kelsey: NYAAAAAAAAA!!! I AM MOOSE-FOOD!!!  
  
Kia: Ummm....  
  
Kelsey: HELP US!!! KIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
  
Karen: Mooses don't eat Kelseys...they eat grass.  
  
Kia: What'm I SUPPOSED TO DO??  
  
Moose: ? *looks at Kia*  
  
Kelsey: MOOOOOOOSE!!!!  
  
Kia: o.o Crud and astringent pomite fruit.  
  
Moose: *runs*  
  
Kia: *runs away*  
  
Moose: *chases*  
  
Karen: *silent "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"*  
  
Kia: Bad moose!!  
  
Kelsey: *reaches over, rips off duct tape*  
  
Karen: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! DUCT TAPE AND MOOSE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!  
  
Kia: *stops* Damn! Okay, fine. *materializes SPIRIT WHIP. flicks whip* Bring it on, moose.  
  
Moose: ? *materializes boogey of moose snot*  
  
Karen: Ewwww…  
  
Kia: Eeep!  
  
Moose: *snrrrrrrrrrrrrk*  
  
Kia: *ducks*  
  
Kelsey: Ew! EWEWEEWEWEWEWEEWEWE!!! IT'S RIGHT ABOVE MEH!!!  
  
Moose: *sucks it back in*  
  
Karen: Mommy *cowers*   
  
Kia: *blinks* Nani??  
  
Kelsey: *claps hand over mouth* I'm gonna be sick...  
  
Karen: Me too.  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* Okay, now what?  
  
Moose: *spits snot*  
  
Kia: *ducks*  
  
Karen: *gags* Nasty  
  
Kelsey: *is dropped* Ow!  
  
Kia: *takes deep breath* PUG PACK, ASSEMBLE!!!  
  
Pugs: Snort snort snort snort....*charge up*  
  
Karen: Pug pack? Do I WANT to know?  
  
Kia: ^.^ my pack o' pugs.  
  
Karen: I see. Cute.  
  
Moose: ?  
  
Kia: *flicks whip* You made me mad, Moose. I'm calling the youkai boys.  
  
Kelsey: MOOOOSE!  
  
Moose: ! *runs up*  
  
Kia: *inches away*  
  
Karen: WAIIIIIT! I'm still here! *whimpers* Help me...help mee…  
  
Moose: *is agitated*  
  
Kia: Kurama, Hiei, Jin, Touya! *summons youkai boys.*  
  
Hiei: Hn. *stares at moose*  
  
Moose: Mooose moo mooose moosey!  
  
*herd of meese appear*  
  
Kia: Eeeep!  
  
Karen: No more...no more...  
  
Kia: Umm....Kurama pull out a whip...Hiei...distract the mooses..or meeses...or...umm...the things. Jin and Touya...o.o go save Karen.  
  
Moose: *flies into the air*  
  
Kia: They fly?  
  
Karen: I guess so…HEEEELP!  
  
Kelsey: Nuuuu!! *grabs moose's leg.*  
  
Moose: *continues to fly*  
  
Kelsey: NUUUU!!!! HELP!!!!  
  
Hiei: Hn. Baka moose. *attacks mooses*  
  
Jin and Touya: *go grab Karen*  
  
Karen: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Meese: MEEEEEESE!!!! *trample Hiei*  
  
Kia: HIEI!   
  
Hiei: o.o Hn. BAKA MOOSE! *punches meese*  
  
Meese: ?  
  
Kurama: *pulls out whip and attacks the meese*  
  
Meese: *bites Hiei*  
  
Meese of Doom: *eats whip*  
  
Hiei: BASTARD!  
  
Kurama: o.o my whip....  
  
Meese: ? Meese me meesey meese?  
  
Karen: FORGET THE MEESE SAVE ME!  
  
Kia: *faces meese* Look, what do you want?   
  
Jin: *grabs Karen off moose and flies into the air*  
  
Meese: ....for you to die...  
  
Kia: *scared* You speak!  
  
Karen: Thank you thank you thank you...  
  
Moose: *flies*  
  
Jin: Uh...no problem, lass.  
  
Kelsey: NYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!  
  
Karen: Can we get on the ground now? Think I'm having a heart attack  
  
Jin: Whoops. *flies down and sets Karen down*  
  
Kelsey: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!  
  
Kia: *flicks whip* Hold on, Kelsey!  
  
Karen: Thank you. *goes to cower in a corner*   
  
Kia: *whistles* BIRDZILLA!!!!!  
  
Moose: ! *flies in other direction*  
  
Fly: Squawk? *flies up and grabs Kia, soaring up after Moose*  
  
Moose: ! *flings snot at Fly*  
  
Fly: *evades*  
  
Karen: *continues to cower*   
  
Kia: ^.^ Birdzilla!  
  
Moose: ...*flings more snot along with various other bodily fluids*  
  
Fly: *flies down*  
  
Jin:*flies up and grabs Kelsey*  
  
Kelsey: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!  
  
Karen: *gets splashed with the various other bodily fluids* EWWWWW!  
  
Kelsey: *punches Jin*  
  
Jin: Ouch!   
  
Kelsey: EVIL!!!!  
  
Jin: Noooo….  
  
Kelsey: DIE, RAPIST SCUM!!!  
  
Kia: Kelsey, he's trying to help you!!  
  
Kelsey: DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!  
  
Karen: *laughs at Jin*   
  
Jin: *looks at Kia, who shrugs apologetically*Ouch...*rubs head*  
  
Kelsey: *bites Jin*  
  
Jin: *lands on ground*You're a nice lass, you are!  
  
Kia: *mutters* Fly!   
  
Kelsey: YAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! *jumps Jin*  
  
Karen: Isn't she though? HELLO! I'm covered in moose bodily fluids!  
  
Kia: *o.o*  
  
Kelsey: Yeah, that's why I'm not touching you.  
  
Jin: *flies higher to evade psycho Kelsey* Umm..*looks at Kia* Help....  
  
Karen: I feel the love, Kelsey.   
  
Kia: Oy vay. *nudges Fly*  
  
Fly: *soars up and grabs Kelsey*  
  
Kelsey: *random words*...KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Jin: DON'T PUNCH ME!  
  
Kelsey: KILL!!!!!! *grabs Jin's ankle*  
  
Kia: Kelsey! Let go of the wind demon...  
  
Karen: Mommy. *cowers*  
  
Moose: *nuzzles Karen*  
  
Kia: What the…?  
  
Karen: AHHHHHHH GET AWAY GET AWAY GET AWAY  
  
Moose: *sad*  
  
Touya and Kurama: *sweatdrop*  
  
???: ROAR!   
  
*Dun dun DUN! Streng flies in to save the day!*   
  
Kelsey: KILL! KILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILL!!!  
  
Hiei: BAKA MOOSE!!  
  
Moose: *sad*  
  
Kelsey: KILL JIN!!!!!!!!!! *bites Jin's ankle*  
  
Jin: Ouch!  
  
Streng: *Looks around, and then goes to Disco Land*  
  
Kia: Kelsey, stop!  
  
Kelsey: *dangles in the middle of the air from Jin's ankle*  
  
Karen: Stupid Dragon! COME BACK HERE!  
  
Twili's Ghost: *appears*  
  
Kia: *pries Kelsey off*  
  
Karen: Yay! *dances*  
  
Twili's Ghost: ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!  
  
Kelsey: No! *struggles* Must...kill...Jin!  
  
Kia: Um…  
  
Karen: *cowers under dandelion* Meep.  
  
Kia: No, don't kill Jin! No killing friends!!  
  
Twili's Ghost: *pries Strength out of Disco Land*  
  
Streng: *sighs* ROAR.   
  
Twili's Ghost: *goes to Disco Land*  
  
Kelsey: But...*leaps at Jin*  
  
Kia: KELSEY! *drags her back* If you have to kill someone, kill Sakyo...*Sakyo appears*  
  
Kelsey: NUUUUUUU!!!!!! Arrrrg...*gurgle* And didn't he already die?  
  
Kia: Yes and no.  
  
Strength: Blast. *grabs Kelsey from Jin* Stay Twili's former rider.  
  
Kelsey: Arrrg...*bites Strength*  
  
Kia: Whooooo, boy…  
  
Streng: Bad Twili's former rider*disappears to Disco Land to find Twili*  
  
ACK! *is dragged to Disco Land*  
  
Streng: *even whinier* TWILI...  
  
Kelsey: I CAN'T SEE! *pause* I'M BLIIIIIIIIIIIIIND!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Streng: You're fine  
  
Kia: SIRANO!   
  
Sirano:*flies to Disco Land*  
  
Sirano: Streng!  
  
Kelsey: *jumps*  
  
Streng: *innocent* Yes?  
  
Sirano: Let go.  
  
Kelsey: *has jumped*  
  
Sirano: *catches*  
  
Streng: You aren't any fun.  
  
Sirano: Of course not. I'm the queen.  
  
Streng: I'm gonna go find a green that's more fun than you.  
  
Sirano: Bum. *flies back to the others and releases Kelsey*  
  
Kelsey: KIIIIIIIIL JIN!  
  
Streng: *Goes back to Fire Mountain*   
  
Kia: NO! You can't kill Jin! He's my friend!  
  
Karen: Damnit. Not this again. Maybe I should get my more sensible dragon.   
  
Sirano: I can go now?  
  
Kia: *nods*  
  
Karen: Or maybe not.   
  
Jin: *peeks behind Kia* Is she gone...?  
  
Kelsey: *jumps Jin* You're cute!  
  
Kelsey: KILL JIN!  
  
Jin: Crazy lass! *runs*  
  
Kelsey: *chases* LET ME KILL YOU!!! THEN WE CAN EAT MOOSE!  
  
Karen: *cowers*   
  
Touya: *looks at Karen* Please don't tell me you're like that.  
  
Jin: Kiiiiaaaaaaaa!!!!  
  
*both run off into the sunset*  
  
Karen: Normally no. But when dealing with Kelsey...yes  
  
Kia: …extremely…  
  
Touya: Shall I inch away from you, then?  
  
Karen: You shall.   
  
Touya: Arigatou. *inches away*  
  
Kia: -.- oh, boy. *borrows Botan's oar and chases after Kelsey*  
  
Moose: *nuzzles Karen*  
  
Kia: KELSEY, RELEASE THE JIN!  
  
Karen: Awwww….thank you. It's all romantic and everything now  
  
Moose: ?  
  
Kia: *pouts* 'cept for me.  
  
Karen: Kelsey has Jin and I have you...I've utterly desired you moose!   
  
Kia: *o.o*  
  
Pug pack: snort snort snort...*they all look at Hiei and Kurama*  
  
Kurama: ...oh, dear.  
  
Moose: *in love*  
  
Karen: *Hearts for eyes*   
  
Kia: Oh, lovely… *hops on oar and grabs Jin*  
  
Kelsey: Nooooooooo! *grabs Jin's leg*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrop* Ah, dragon disco...  
  
Kelsey: Ehehehehe...  
  
Karen: 'Kay. *hops on moose's back* Let's ride!  
  
Streng: Ah Ah ah ah Stayin' alive, stayin' alive  
  
Jin: You saved me! *hugs Kia*   
  
Kia: *grabs oar* Stop, I can't steer!  
  
*At FM, Streng strikes the famous John Travolta pose*   
  
Moose: *gallops off into the sunset*  
  
Sirano: *whaps him with her tail*  
  
Amira: *hearts for eyes*  
  
Kelsey: *latches onto oar* NUUUU!!! I LOVE YOU JIN! I WANT TO KIIIIIIILL YOU!  
  
Streng: Disco will always live! *twitch*   
  
Amira: Ooooh!!! AUTOGRAPH! I WANNA AUTOGRAPH!  
  
Jin: Help meeeeeeee!!!!  
  
Amira: *bats eyelashes*  
  
Hiei: Hn. *latches onto Kelsey's leg*  
  
Kia: *struggling to stay on oar* Umm...guys...  
  
Streng: I'm taken. *heart eyes at Blaze*   
  
Karen: MOOOSE  
  
Blaze: *strikes pose*  
  
Kia: *attempts to strike pose on oar and falls off*  
  
Karen: *strikes pose on moose and then falls off*   
  
Touya, Jin and Kurama:....  
  
Pug Pack: snort snort!! *strike poses*   
  
Hiei: Hn. Baka ningens. *stalks off*   
  
Kelsey: *kisses Jin*   
  
Jin: o.o   
  
Kia: ^.^ awww... 


	2. A Hairy Scary Wedding

Kia: Karen, are you marrying a Moose?   
  
Kelsey: She needs a dress. And a cake. *sniffles* I never had cake. Yusuke ATE it! *whacks Yusuke*   
  
Yusuke: ...*winces* Baka, stop hitting me!   
  
Kelsey: NO! *whacks repeatedly* YOU LOCKED SHISHI IN MY TOWEL CABINET!  
  
Karen: DON'T FIGHT AT MY WEDDING. -.-*   
  
Kelsey: Oh, Karen...You missed my wedding!   
  
Karen: Awww. *sniffles* Did you get video?   
  
Kelsey: Um...   
  
Kia: *holds up camera*'   
  
Kelsey: Kia might have it in her video collection...I don't usually use my camcorder.   
  
Kia: I don't usually either. But I remember all the chaos.   
  
Kelsey: And the stacks of purple roses.   
  
Kia: Poor Hiei.   
  
Karen: Ooh...purple roses...pretty.   
  
Kelsey: And the Caterer proposing to Kia.   
  
Kia: *cough* So! Back to Summoning, then. *sweatdrops* Oh, yeah. I gave him a Pug to go away.   
  
Kelsey: And then Axe was sick. And Orson gave me away.   
  
Kia: And I refuse to get married. ^.^   
  
Kelsey: *sniff* What a kind panther.   
  
Kia: *blinks at Karen* So, what color roses?   
  
Karen: I'm sure you'll find a special guy Kia...or Moose *lovesick look at moose* Hrm...yellow..Me likes yellow.   
  
Kelsey: *gets in summoning circle*…*blink* Shishi? Where's my Saiai?  
  
Kia: *blinks at Kelsey* I summon!   
  
Shishiwakamaru: *appears*   
  
Kelsey: NO! ME!   
  
Kia: You're married! I'm summoning!   
  
Kelsey: Just watch me!   
  
Karen: Who's summoning? Are we having a Black Wedding? *squeals*   
  
Kia: ....taking my job...   
  
Kelsey: Wowiomap amweiouf leml woeij aopjf. *dance* EL BAJO! *yellow roses rain down*   
  
Karen: *grabs one*   
  
Kelsey: Hah. *sticks tongue out at Kia*   
  
Kia: *gets all teary-eyed* You took my job...   
  
Moose: Mooose?   
  
Kelsey: Uh...how are we gonna get a tux for a moose?   
  
Kia: *stares at Moose*   
  
Karen: I'm clueless too darling..   
  
Kia: Ummm...*walks into Kelsey-proof Summoning circle*…*stares at Moose again*   
  
Kelsey: *blink*   
  
Kia: Aoi gaze ga ima mune no doa tataike no...watashi dake wo..... *tux appears on Moose*   
  
Karen: B-E-A-Utiful.   
  
Moose: *snort*   
  
Kia: *bows* God, that was hard...  
  
Kelsey: Hmph. Woimav Pelianta Xaraopiwejrp poivmna. *dress appears on Karen*   
  
God, deep voice from above: Apparently. I've never seen a tux on a moose.   
  
Kia: *peers up at God* Oy vay.   
  
Kelsey: SHUT UP! You don't exist.   
  
God, deep voice from above: All right, shutting up.   
  
Kelsey: Thank you. Gee, for an impostor, he's rather nice.   
  
Kia: o.o Dude.   
  
Karen: Impostor yes, nice no. If he was so nice, why does he let people die? *sob* Just kidding.   
  
Kia: *pats sympathetically* No crying at your wedding.   
  
Karen: *stops* Thank you Kia.   
  
Kelsey: Who's gonna give ya away? And should I summon a caterer?   
  
Kia: You're welcome. We need a cake... *eyes wide* No more caterers...  
  
Kelsey: Do you REALLY want Yusuke to cook?   
  
Kia: Ah...no...how about Touya?   
  
Kelsey: Touya's too short to cook.   
  
Karen: Mrm....yes, Caterer...and...STAND IN! *A very handsome stand in pops up beside her* He'll give me away.   
  
Kia: Kurama?   
  
Kelsey: Sure. *smiles*   
  
Kia: Oy! KURAMA!   
  
Kurama: *blinks at Kia* Hai?   
  
Kelsey: Cook.   
  
Kia: You're cooking.   
  
Kurama: *looks at Kelsey and Kia, then puts on a frilly yellow apron and goes into the kitchen*   
  
Kelsey: Good boy.   
  
Kia: ^.^ He loves weddings.   
  
Karen: Does he now?   
  
Kia: Yes he does.   
  
Karen: good.   
  
Kelsey: Let's make him marry Botan.   
  
Kia: Botan? As in ferry-girl? She's taken.   
  
Kelsey: We can un-take her!   
  
Karen: Why are we talking about hooking other people up at MY wedding?  
  
Stand in: Yeah!   
  
Kia: Take her from Koenma? *blink* That's a good question.   
  
Kurama: All done!   
  
Stand in: *proceeds to bat his eyelashes at Kia*  
  
Jin and Touya and Kia: *stare at Cooking Fiend Kurama*   
  
Kia: *blinks at Stand In* Are you ok? Something in your eye?   
  
Kelsey: *stuffs stand-in into shadow bag* And STAY in there!   
  
Karen: *psst* Think he likes you. First the caterer then the Stand in...you my dear, are in for a series of nameless faces flirting with you.   
  
Stand in: HEY! I gotta give Karen away!   
  
Kia: *sweatdrops*Just a gift I have...   
  
Kelsey: Do it from the shadow bag. *hands pouch to Karen*   
  
Karen: Uh...thanks.   
  
Stand in: Damnit.   
  
Kelsey: I'm a cheeseburger in paradise.   
  
Shishiwakamaru: And I'm the cheese.   
  
Stand in, from inside of bag: I'd love to be Kia's cheese!   
  
Kia: *blinks and hides behind Jin*   
  
Karen: Shut up, you'll be kicked out!   
  
Kelsey: Cheese is good.   
  
Stand in: Especially if it's Kia's cheese!   
  
Kelsey: *smashes bag with hammer* Shut up, you!   
  
Kia: *eeps and hides behind Jin again* Make him stooop...   
  
Kelsey: Jin, marry Kia.   
  
Stand in: All right, all right. I have something to confess. I'm gay.  
  
Karen: Damnit, don't come out at my wedding!   
  
Kia: *blinks at Stand in* What?   
  
Caterer: Really?! So am I!   
  
Jin: *blinks at Kelsey* What?   
  
Kia: Gimme my Pug back, gay man!   
  
Stand in: Oh excellent love! Let's get together after the wedding!  
  
Caterer: Oh, you!   
  
Kia: *jumps Caterer* I want my Pug!   
  
Caterer: No! Not my Chin-Chan!   
  
Stand in: What? You're taken? You BITCH!   
  
Kia: *teary-eyed* He promised himself to the Pug!   
  
Jin: *watching this all confused, not to mention what Kelsey said*....  
  
Karen: Oh God, help me.   
  
God, deep voice from above: I smite thee all! How's that?   
  
Kelsey: I DO THE SMITING AROUND HERE!!!   
  
Kia: True.   
  
Karen: Damnit, I don't have a wedding party anymore! WAAAAAAAA!   
  
God, deep voice from above: Sorry, going now.   
  
Kia: *pats* No worries! PUG PACK!!   
  
Pug Pack: snort?   
  
Kia: Wedding.   
  
Pug Pack: Snort snort snort...*get to work*   
  
Caterer: No! I swear! He's just a little puppy! *grossed out* And I'm NOT married to him!   
  
Kia: Gimme my Pug back!   
  
Caterer: NEVER!   
  
Stand in, who has been sobbing: *sniff* You aren't?   
  
Kia: *glares*   
  
Caterer: No.   
  
Stand in: Alright...I'm sorry I called you a bitch then.   
  
Kia: *jumps and beats up with Schoolbag of Doom* GIMME MY PUG, YOU BASTARD!!   
  
Caterer: I accept your apology. And why are you in a shadow bag? NO! *runs*   
  
Karen: *dives out of the way* My poor wedding.   
  
Kia: *pursues* MY PUG!!   
  
Pug Pack: snort snort...   
  
Kia *stops* They're all done. Your wedding's ready whenever you are.  
  
Stand in: *follows but keeps bumping into crap* Because I'm not supposed to make eyes at Kia, but I'm gay, so it doesn't matter.   
  
Caterer: *runs back in*…*takes bag off of Stand In*   
  
Stand in: Oh thank you dear!   
  
Caterer: Anything for you, shnookums.   
  
Karen: *gets back up* Good. I'm ready NOW. *glares at Caterer and Stand in*   
  
Kia: *looks ill* Oh, ugh...   
  
Stand in: Itty bitty boo! Oh..sorry. *takes his place next to Karen*  
  
Caterer: *blushes*   
  
Kia: *now looking seriously pale and going back to hiding behind Jin*  
  
Kelsey: Jin, do I have to tell you twice? Marry Kia already..   
  
Jin: *stares at Kelsey*   
  
Kia: *also stares at Kelsey*   
  
Karen: Marry Kia? Marry ME! *looks grumpy*   
  
Moose: *sad*   
  
Kelsey: Karen...   
  
Kia: I thought you were marrying the Moose.   
  
Karen: No no no Sweetheart. I mean GET ON WITH THE CEREMONY of marrying me to you!   
  
Kia: Hey...who's in this wedding, anyway?   
  
Kelsey: MEEEEEEEEEE!   
  
Karen: Moi, of course.   
  
Stand in: Me! *wiggles fingers all feminine like*   
  
Kia: Ah...That explains a lot...so, who's priest?   
  
Moose: *snort*   
  
Rei: *appears* Who else?   
  
Kia: Axe is better now, right?   
  
Rei: Yup! *swings axe*   
  
Kelsey: YAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *leaps back* Watch it, psycho!   
  
Kia: Priestess for WEDDING this time?   
  
Karen: *glares at Rei with glare of death* Stop swinging axes on MY wedding day!   
  
Rei: Just try to stop me.   
  
Karen: Oh you BET I will brother.   
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* Now, now...   
  
Rei: Bring it on.   
  
Axe: *swish*   
  
Karen: YAAAA! *runs after Rei. She now has fangs, wings, and devils horns. In essence, she looks pissed*   
  
Rei: *unfazed*   
  
Kia: *sweatdropping* Guys, this is a wedding!!   
  
Kelsey: SO?   
  
Karen: GOD HELP YOU! YAAA!!   
  
Kia: IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY!   
  
God, squeeky and timid voice from above: *smites Rei*   
  
Rei: As if. *cuts Karen in half*   
  
Kelsey: MINE WASN'T HAPPY! YUSUKE ATE THE CAKE!   
  
Karen: *The halves twitch* Shit.   
  
Kia: BLAME YUSUKE!   
  
Karen: HELLO???   
  
Kia: *picks up halves*   
  
Kelsey: *towers over Yusuke* YOU PERVERTED BASTARD, YOU RUINED MY WEDDING! *whacks repeatedly*   
  
Karen: *still twitching* Lemme at him...he's ruining my wedding! Moosey dear, trample him would you?   
  
Stand in: Huh? *now looks like a Drag queen*   
  
Karen: Damnit, you're supposed to be male UNTIL you give me away.   
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* Gay guys like me...I'm afraid...   
  
Stand in: No dear, I was just teasing you.   
  
Kia: Thank you. Never do that again.   
  
Stand in: You wish!  
  
Kia: That does it. I'm never getting married.   
  
Stand in: Wait till you're a bit older dah-ling...   
  
Kelsey: Oh yes you are...   
  
Kia: *dark glare at Stand In and Kelsey* Oh, no I'm not...   
  
Rei: Of course you are!   
  
Kia: Noooo.....*runs and hides under a table*   
  
Kelsey: More cake for me, then.   
  
Karen: Me too...IF we get the wedding started.   
  
Kia: *hops onto podium* Ok!   
  
Jin: *sweatdrops* That was quick...   
  
Kia: *whaps him* We need wedding music...   
  
Rei: *shoves Kia off podium* I'M the priestess.   
  
Karen: -.-; Can we get on with it?   
  
Kia: *teary eyed* Everyone takes my job...   
  
Moose: *snort*  
  
Kia: WAAAAA.....   
  
Karen: SHUT UP AND LET'S GET ME MARRIED.   
  
Rei: Of course!   
  
Kia: *dark glare at Rei and scootches back under table*   
  
Kelsey: Fine. NO CAKE FOR KIA, KURAMA! AND GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE TO PLAY THE DAMNED PIANO.   
  
Kurama: *blinks* Now, that wasn't very nice...   
  
Kelsey: Do you really think I care?   
  
Kurama: Deep down inside, yes.   
  
Kelsey: Watch it, cake boy.   
  
Karen: *glares at Kelsey and Kurama* You're holding everything UP.  
  
Kurama: *drags Kia from under the table* There, there, Rei didn't mean it.   
  
Kia: Go play the piano, Red.   
  
Kurama: *sits at the piano and strikes up Wedding March*   
  
Karen: *smiles* Very good. Queenie, care to escort me?   
  
Stand in turned Drag Queen: *escorts Karen down the aisle*   
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* Everyone takes my job....   
  
God, timid and meek voice: SHH! It's a wedding!   
  
Kia: *glances up at God* YOU'RE A VERY BAD THING!!!   
  
God, timid and meek voice from above: Sorry.   
  
Karen: *glowers*   
  
Kia: *shuts up*   
  
Stand in turned Drag Queen: *glowers*   
  
Jin and Touya: *glower at Stand in turned Drag Queen*   
  
Stand in turned Drag Queen: *continues to Glower*   
  
Kia: *hides behind Jin* STOP GLOWERING!   
  
Rei: Shush, Kia. You're ruining the ambiance.   
  
Kia: Just marry 'em already so I can run.   
  
Karen: *looks all pretty and stuff standing at the altar*   
  
Stand in turned Drag Queen: *leaves to go to bathroom to finish makeup*  
  
Kia: Where's the Moose?   
  
Moose: *continues to be*   
  
Kia: *looks up at Rei* Ok, you can start now... *sweatdrops and pokes Rei*   
  
Karen: Finally.   
  
Kia: You're getting married, Karen! Rejoice in life with a moose!   
  
Karen: *grins* I know! *gets all giggly*   
  
Stand in turned Drag Queen: Gosh, she has worse mood swings than me.  
  
Kia: Sure about that, buddy?   
  
Stand in turned Drag Queen: Postive. *gets glare of death from Karen* Shutting up now.   
  
Kia: Smart boy. Or girl. or it.   
  
Stand in (hereby known as Drag Queen): Quiet you.   
  
Kia: *sticks out tongue*   
  
Drag Queen: *licks her upper lip seductively*   
  
Kia: *looks horrified and hides behind Jin* Make her stoooop....   
  
Drag Queen: *smirks*   
  
Kia: *glares at Drag Queen*   
  
Karen: HEM HEM.   
  
Kia: *still poking Rei* Marry 'em already...   
  
Karen: Yes, Marry us!   
  
Kurama: *now playing Why do Fools fall in love*   
  
Rei: Kia?   
  
Kia: *blinks* Hai?   
  
Rei: Oh, sorry. Meant Karen.   
  
Kia: *thunks head* Just get it on with...   
  
Karen: Yes, yes.   
  
Rei: Do you really wanna marry Moose?   
  
Karen: Yes.   
  
Rei: Good. Moose?   
  
Moose: *blink*   
  
Rei: Are you sure you want to devote your whole life to Karen?   
  
Moose: *looks thoughtful* Moose moooooose.   
  
Rei: Excellent. Hm. Okay, by the power vested in me by...oooh, shiny! *looking at champagne*   
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* I'm SO not getting married...   
  
Karen: *drinking champagne* Ooh baby.   
  
Kia: Please don't be drunk.   
  
Karen: I won't be.   
  
Kia: Sure?   
  
Karen: Positve.   
  
Kia: Ok. Drunk people scare me.   
  
Karen: They scare me too.   
  
Drunk Yusuke: *drapes himself over Karen* Hey, there pretty lady.   
  
Karen: *smacks Yusuke*   
  
Yusuke: *falls on the ground*   
  
Kia: *snickers*   
  
Karen: Go drape yourself on Kia you perverted bastard.   
  
Yusuke: *drapes himself on Kia*   
  
Kia: *looks horrified* BAKA!   
  
Karen: *laughs*   
  
Kia: *kicks Yusuke in the face* Drunk guy!!!   
  
Yusuke: *falls over* Nobody lovesh me...   
  
Kelsey: I'll bet the Drag Queen would!  
  
Karen: *laughs harder* 


	3. The Bats vs Tarukane

Kelsey: You see?   
  
Kia: *blinks* No. *gets jabbed by Jin* Errr...yes!   
  
Kelsey: BATS!   
  
Shishiwakamaru: You made my love upset! *whaps Kia with his sword*   
  
Kelsey: Baaaats! *shriek* ATTACK OF THE BAAATS!   
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* Yeees...I'll be inching away now. *inches*   
  
Kelsey: Bats….sooooo many bats…  
  
Kia: *throws Shishi-san to the bats*   
  
Kelsey: EEEEK!   
  
Bats: *fly in Shishi's hair*   
  
Shishiwakamaru: My hair!! *runs around*   
  
Kia: *hides behind Jin*   
  
Jin: *blinks at Kia*   
  
Kelsey: ...uh...um...   
  
Kia: Kelsey, go save your future husband...   
  
Kelsey: Uh...   
  
Bats: Bwaha!  
  
Kelsey: Baaaats...   
  
Jin: *to Kia* Why are you hiding behind me?   
  
Kia: I don't wanna get married. And the bats.   
  
Kelsey: ....b-b-bats...   
  
Shishiwakamaru: *still running* Anyone?   
  
Kia: *sighs and borrows Botan's oar* I can't believe this. *chases after bats* Heeeeere, batty batty batties... Kelsey: Baaaats! *hides behind Jin* HELP!   
  
Jin: *sweatdrops* I can't even save myself, lass...   
  
Kelsey: Why did it have to be bats?! *cower* Baaaats....baaaaaaaaaaats.....baaaaaaaaaaaaaats.....  
  
Kia *whapping bats with the oar and Shishiwakamaru in the process* Bad bats!   
  
Kelsey: Bats....bats, Jin...   
  
Jin: Uh...yes. Bats. *blinks*   
  
Kia: *gives up on bats and sits down*   
  
Kelsey: Baaaaaats...   
  
Bats: *swarm Shishi*  
  
Shishiwakamaru: BATS!!!!! *pulls out sword and starts slaying bats*   
  
Kelsey: EEEEK! *hides face* HELP ME, JIN!!!! Baaaats....*cowers*   
  
Jin: *looks at Kia, who shrugs* Uh...   
  
Kia: This is no good! Kelsey and Shishi can't get married with bats! *blows bat whistle* C'mere, bats...come to Kia...   
  
Kelsey: *screamscreamscreamscreamscream* HELP!!!!!!   
  
Shishiwakamaru: *perks up* My love is in danger! *runs to Kelsey, killing the bats as he goes*   
  
Nekkyou Hiryuu says: *clings to Jin's legs* DON'T LET THEM EAT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
Jin: *helpless look* Uh...lass...can you release my legs now?   
  
Kelsey: Nononononononooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....baaaaatsssssss...  
  
Kia: *losing what patience she had left* LISTEN UP, BATS! IF YOU DON'T CLEAR OUT RIGHT NOW, I'M GOING TO TAKE THIS METAL BASEBALL BAT AND POUND YOUR LITTLE BRAINS OUT!!!!!!!  
  
Bats: *sweatdrop*   
  
Kia: *raising baseball bat* AND I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU ALL!!!!   
  
Bats: *slowly edge away*   
  
Bat #1: Crazy girl.   
  
Bat #2: Shut uuuup...   
  
Kia: AAAARRRRGHHHH!!*runs toward bats*   
  
Bats: ....*fly quickly away* We will be back!   
  
Kelsey: Baaaaaaaaats....*holding Jin's ankles tightly* Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatsssssssssss!!!!   
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* And so will my baseball bat. Kelsey, they're gone. -.-   
  
Kelsey: Baaats…  
  
Kia: *coughs* KELSEY, THE BATS ARE GONE!!!!   
  
Kelsey: *points to Shishi's hair*   
  
Bat: Heeeeelp...   
  
Kia: *looks at Shishi's hair*…*untangles bat*   
  
Bat: *bites Kia*   
  
Kia: *slaps bat*   
  
Kelsey: KIA!!!! KIA'S GONNA DIEE!!!!!!! *sobs*   
  
Kia: o.o The BAT'S gonna die first. *glares at Bat and lifts baseball bat*   
  
Bat: OvvO (fangs)   
  
Kia: *whaps the bat with...o.o the bat*   
  
Bat: -vv-   
  
Kia: YOU GOT ME MAD, BAT! YOU WANT YOUR BRAINS TAKEN OUT TOO??   
  
Jin: *grins* That's my lass.  
  
Bat: Err...*flies away* You'll be sorry!   
  
Kelsey: o.o....Kia! The bats have sworn revenge!   
  
Kia: *blinks* I know. How fun!   
  
Kelsey: You're gonna dieeeee....   
  
Kia: -.- Thanks so much for your support.   
  
Kelsey: *wail* You're so young....   
  
Jin: Kia, your hand...   
  
Kelsey: *glares at Touya* Touya, comfort your girlfriend.   
  
Touya: *blinks* eh?   
  
Kia: He's not my boyfriend. -.- *starts bandaging hand*   
  
Kelsey: Kia's gonna dieeeee...  
  
Touya: ....she's not my girlfriend. *looks at Kia*   
  
Jin: She's not his girlfriend. *also looks at Kia*   
  
Kia: Stop looking at me! And I'm not gonna die!   
  
Kelsey: *blink*...I haven't gone on a rampage in awhile. May I do that?   
  
Kia: Just so long as you don't hurt, Jin, Touya, Shishiwakamaru, or me, go right ahead.   
  
Kelsey: ...but there's no one else here!   
  
Kia: Yes there is! *pulls out Tarukane* There's the mean old man!   
  
Kelsey: ...me?   
  
Tarukane: o.o what?   
  
Kelsey: Hi!   
  
Kia: You're a mean old man. Have fun.   
  
Tarukane: *blinks* Um. Hello.   
  
Kia: *to Jin* Touya's too short for me...   
  
Touya: I heard that!  
  
Kelsey: Hi!   
  
Tarukane: Look, little girl, I'm a very busy man...   
  
Kelsey: Wow.   
  
Shishiwakamaru: ....*glowers at Tarukane*   
  
Tarukane: On second thought, you're rather pretty. And your little friend should help me make some money. How about it?   
  
Kelsey:...huh? I'm confused.   
  
Kia: *blinks* What?   
  
Kelsey: Weren't we saying hi?   
  
Tarukane: We were. But now I'm going to kidnap both of you and sell you to the highest bidders!   
  
Kia: *blinks again* How nice of you?   
  
Kelsey: Why? That's not nice.   
  
Tarukane: Of course not. *grabs Kia* Now, come along now...   
  
Kelsey: BATS!   
  
Bats: *appear* Yes ma'am!   
  
Kelsey: *glares at Tarukane* I'm warning you, fat dude. Let go.   
  
Tarukane: *looks at Kelsey, then at Kia* Hmmm...   
  
Jin: *getting mad* You heard Kelsey. Let her go!   
  
Kelsey: Did you not hear me, lardass? Let. Her. GO!   
  
Tarukane: *shakes head* I'm sorry. I can't do that. *whaps Kia on the back of the head. Kia collapses* Muaahhhhaaaa...   
  
Jin: *now losing his temper*...   
  
Bats: *blinky* But didn't you just let her go?   
  
Kelsey: Okay, fatass. I warned you. BATS!   
  
Bats: Yes ma'am!   
  
Kelsey: ATTAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!  
  
Bats: *swarm Tarukane*   
  
Touya: ...   
  
Tarukane: EEEEEEE!! *runs, still carrying Kia*   
  
Kelsey: *evil laughter* BATS!   
  
Bats: Yes ma'am!   
  
Kelsey: Pursue!   
  
Bats: *grab Kelsey and Jin and Touya and Shishi and follow Tarukane*   
  
Tarukane:*runs faster and dives into car, which drives away*   
  
Kelsey: Uh...   
  
Bats: *latch onto passing car, take over driver's seat*   
  
Tarukane: *jumps out*   
  
Kelsey: FOLLOW THAT FAT DUDE!   
  
Bats: *follow fat dude*   
  
Tarukane:*stops at convenient cliff*   
  
Kelsey: DIEEEEEEEE, FATASS!   
  
Bats: *swarm Tarukane*   
  
Tarukane: *looks at cliff, then at Kia. Thwaps bats*   
  
Kelsey: HEY! HEY! PUT US DOWN FIRST!!!!!!!   
  
Touya: We're gonna die...   
  
Kelsey: *leaps on Tarukane. Bites Tarukane* DIEEEEEEEE, EVIL FAT DUDE!   
  
Tarukane: *yelps*   
  
Bats: *set the rest down*   
  
Kelsey: DIE! DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEIDIEIDIE!!!!!!! *whaps Tarukane with bread gun*   
  
Tarukane: FINE! *takes a running leap and throws Kia off cliff, then runs the other way*   
  
Kelsey: KIAAAAAAAA!!!! *jumps after Kia* I'LL SAVE YOU!!!!!!   
  
Shishiwakamaru: KELSEY! *jumps after Kelsey*   
  
Bats: *chase Tarukane*   
  
Tarukane: *still running like hell*   
  
Kia: *still falling*   
  
Bats: FAT GUYS CAN'T RUN! *swarm Tarukane*   
  
Kelsey: *grabs Kia's arm* Gotcha! ...eeep?   
  
Shishiwakamaru: *grabs onto Kelsey* You can't fly!!   
  
Kelsey: NEITHER CAN YOU!!!!   
  
Shishiwakamaru: Oh, yeah…  
  
Jin: *swoops down* One at a time!   
  
Kelsey: *whacks Kia* Wake up!   
  
Kia: *doesn't wake up*   
  
Bats: *chasing*   
  
Tarukane:*running*   
  
Jin: OK, who's first?   
  
Bate: *chase*   
  
Tarukane: *falls*   
  
Bats: *high-fives* DIE, RANDOM PERSON! *swarm Tarukane. Bite Tarukane*   
  
Tarukane:*dies*   
  
Bats: Yay! *disappear in a puff of rose-scented smoke*   
  
Touya: *sweatdropping* Are they still falling?   
  
Kelsey: YES!!!!!! *shoves Kia at Jin* Whack her. WAKE UP!   
  
Jin: *blinks* Whack her?? *catches Kia*   
  
Kelsey: See ya!   
  
Fly: SQUAK!! *catches Kelsey and Shishiwakamaru*   
  
Kelsey: *continues to fall* ...wait…o.o? AIEEEE!!! DEVIL BIRD!!! KILL IT!! KILL IT!   
  
Fly: *blinks* squawk? *lands and drops Kelsey and Shishiwakamaru by Touya. Jin joins them*   
  
Kelsey: Oooh...ground..   
  
Jin: *blinking down at Kia* she's still not waking up...   
  
Kelsey: *huggles Fly* Thank you, Fly!   
  
Fly: *all shy* Squawk!   
  
Bat #182: *sweatdrop*   
  
Touya: Someone wake her up...  
  
Shishiwakamaru: We tried. She doesn't respond to whacking.   
  
Bat #182: *cough*   
  
Jin: *blinks at bat #182*   
  
Bat #182: Erm...   
  
Jin: Yes?   
  
Bat #182: Did you try draining the wound?   
  
Jin: Draining the wound?? Huh?   
  
Bat #182: The poison. The bat poison...?   
  
Jin: *glares* You POISONED HER??   
  
Kelsey: I TOLD YOU SO!   
  
Bat #182: Um...no...that was bat number eight hundred and seventy-two...I'm bat number one hundred and eighty-two...   
  
Jin: Doesn't matter. Umm...how do I drain it?   
  
Bat #182: With a drainer.   
  
Jin: -.-   
  
Touya: *coughs* a drainer?   
  
Bat #182: Something that drains.   
  
Shishiwakamaru: A colander!   
  
Bat #182: Uh...like a vacuum cleaner...something that drains and sucks.   
  
Touya: Like a mouth. I've seen ningens kiss like that. It's appalling.   
  
Bat #182: I know.   
  
Shishiwakamaru: Please don't tell me one of us has to do that.   
  
Bat #182: Not if you can find a vacuum cleaner.   
  
Touya: Who has a vacuum cleaner?   
  
Jin: *looking at Kia* Lass, why couldn't you be like sleeping beauty or something? It'd be a lot easier to wake you up.   
  
Bat #182: *disappears in a puff of vacuum cleaner-scented smoke*   
  
Shishiwakamaru and Fly:....   
  
Kelsey: Muahahahahaha!   
  
Jin: -.- oh, well. *shakes Kia* Come on, wake up, please?   
  
Kelsey: Oh! I know! Let's get Watson!   
  
Touya: Watson...?   
  
Kelsey: *drags Watson into the RP*   
  
Watson: ...where am I?   
  
Kelsey: You're Here!   
  
Jin: And not there!  
  
Watson: Well, that explains hardly anything, dear children.   
  
Kelsey: Fix Kia.   
  
Watson: ?   
  
Shishiwakamaru: Children? *glares*   
  
Kelsey: You're a doctor, aren't you? Fix her.   
  
Watson: I hardly think that this is real. ...I must be hallucinating.   
  
Jin: FIX HER OR I'LL KILL YOU!   
  
Watson: I know I shouldn't have eaten Islay's muffins.   
  
Touya: Now, now, Jin...   
  
Watson: All right, then, all right. Watch carefully, children. CPR fixes anything.   
  
Fly: *horrified* SQUAWK!!??   
  
Watson: Hush, beast.  
  
Kelsey: KIA WAKE UP RIGHT NOW OR YOU'RE GOING TO BE KISSED BY A FATASS EIGHTEENTH-CENTURY PRACTITIONER!!!   
  
Kia: *still not replying*   
  
Jin: NOOO! *starts to go save Kia. Shishiwakamaru holds him back*   
  
Kelsey: I can't watch...   
  
Watson: *gives CPR to Kia*   
  
Kelsey: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *jumps Watson*   
  
Watson: *choking*   
  
Touya: Someone do something....   
  
Kelsey: DIE, FATASS!   
  
Touya: That'll work.   
  
Watson: *grlk...ack...sounds of choking*…*stands up*  
  
Kelsey: *holds on* DIE YOU PSYCHO!   
  
Jin: o.o Kia, wake up!   
  
Watson: *flails at Kelsey*   
  
Kelsey: Eep?   
  
Watson: *choking Kelsey*   
  
Kelsey: *choking Watson*  
  
Shishiwakamaru: Take your hands off her! *whaps Watson*   
  
Kelsey: *choking. choking Watson*   
  
Watson: *choking. choking Kelsey*   
  
Shishiwakamaru: *chokes Watson as well*   
  
Fly: Squawk...   
  
Kelsey: *gaaak*   
  
Watson: DIE!!!!   
  
Fly: SQUAWK! *clamps beak on Watson's head*   
  
Watson: Mmmmf!   
  
Fly: *muffled squawk. Flies and drops Watson off the cliff*   
  
Kelsey: I'M STILL HOLDING ONTO HIM YOU STUPID ANIMAL!!!   
  
Both: *falling*   
  
Fly: *flies and grabs onto Kelsey*   
  
Touya: LET GO, IDIOT!   
  
Watson: *grabs onto Kelsey's leg*   
  
Kelsey: Ew! YOU TRIED TO KISS KIA! *kicks Watson's face* DIE! *leaps at Watson* DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE! *whacks Watson* DIE, FATASS!   
  
Fly: *sweatdrops*   
  
Jin: *holding Kia* Whoa.  
  
Kelsey: DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *whacks Watson repeatedly* … *kicks him where the sun don't shine*  
  
Watson: Ooof...   
  
Kelsey: HAH! YOU DIE NOW!   
  
Jin: ...hmm...maybe one of us can do this CPR thing...   
  
Touya: YOU do it, then.   
  
Shishiwakamaru: *on Fly* Let go! *smites Watson*   
  
Jin: *attempts to perform CPR*   
  
Watson: *falls*   
  
Kelsey: Yay!   
  
Shishiwakamaru: Finally!   
  
Kia: *wakes up and stares at Jin, trying to do CPR* o.o   
  
Kelsey: *kisses Shishi*...wait. You can't fly! ...fly! Ah.   
  
Fly: *hovers, carrying both of them*   
  
Kia: *stares at Jin* Why are you kissing me??   
  
Jin: *turning the color of his hair* Ummmmm....   
  
Kelsey: IT'S CPR, KIA!   
  
Kia: o.o really? *blinks at Jin* Ok, I forgive you.  
  
Jin: Good.  
  
Bats: *far-off* Mehehehehehe… 


	4. Pints in the Love Shack

Kelsey: LOOOOOOOOOVE SHACK! *dances*  
  
Rei: Love shack, yeeaaaaah!  
  
Kia: o.o...*inches under a table*  
  
Rei: The loooove shack is a little ol' place where we caaan...get TO-GETH-HER! Wooo!  
  
Kelsey: W00T!  
  
Kia: *now huggling pug and rocking back and forth* Find a happy place, find a happy place...  
  
Kelsey: Love shack baby! Loooove shack, that's where it's aaaat! *dancing*  
  
Rei: The whole shack shimmies! *dances* Folks linin' up outside just to get doooooooooown....  
  
Pug: ...Snort?  
  
Kia: I know, buddy. I'm scared too.  
  
CD: *skrrrrrrrrrtch*  
  
Music: *stops*  
  
Kelsey: HEY!  
  
Rei: *pokes CD player*  
  
Kelsey: It...it died...  
  
Kia: -.- Ruuuun...run, CD player...o.o it DIED??  
  
Rei: Ah...too bad...we must now sing pirate songs!  
  
Rum pints: *appear out of nowhere in Rei and Kelsey's hands*  
  
Kia: o.o;;  
  
Kelsey: *swinging pint* We extort, we pilfer, we pillage, we sack...maraud and embezzle and even hijack!! *leaps around*  
  
Rei: *grabs Kia* Yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate's life for meee!  
  
Kia: o.o;; Hey, wait!!  
  
Kelsey: Drink up, me hearties, yo ho! *gives pint to Kia*  
  
Kia: Help meeeeee...*staring at pint numbly for a full five minutes*  
  
Rei: We kindle and char, inflame and ignite...  
  
Pint: We burn up the city, we're really a fright! *splashes*  
  
Jin: ...*squeezes under the table with the pug*  
  
Kelsey: *dances around drunkenly*  
  
Rei: Hey, Kelsey's drunk! NO FAIR!  
  
Kia: Here, Rei, take my pint. -.-  
  
Pint: *hops under table* Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho! *splashes Jin*  
  
Jin: *sweatdrops* What the hell?  
  
Kelsey: Jus' do what 'e saaays, Jiiiin...  
  
Rei: *swaying* Yo ho, yo ho...  
  
Kia: *inching away towards freedom*  
  
Jin: ...Listen to a pint?  
  
Kelsey: 'Ey! Where's Yusuke? 'E should 'ave somma 'dis...  
  
Pint: Damn straight!  
  
Kia: Damn, this is too weird. *climbs a tree*   
  
Rei: Hey, where IS Yusuke? *suddenly un-drunk* And Chuu...he would ADORE this...or Shishiwakamaru? *blink* Maybe that's not a good idea...  
  
Jin: Shishi strips when he's drunk. x.x  
  
Kelsey: This...this...LISTEN TO THE DAMN PINT, YOU BASTARD!  
  
Pint: Drink me!  
  
Jin: Go to hell, ye blasted pint!  
  
Rei: Er...I be off to masticate some edibles..  
  
Chuu: *appearing* Beer? Where?  
  
Kelsey: 'Ere...*stumbles over* Th' pint...listen...pint! Actually rum, though.  
  
Pint: Drink meeee!  
  
Chuu: *looks at pint* Sure! *drinks the pint*  
  
Kia: . I'm so screwed...  
  
Kelsey: *drapes arm around Kia*...see, you gotta listen to these dudes. They know what they mean when they say to say...  
  
Kia:...Say that again?  
  
Kelsey: They say to mean what they know is...uh...*drags Kia to pints* Drink.  
  
Kia: x.x Beer is nasty. Got any rum?  
  
Rei: That's what it is.  
  
Kia: o.o Really? I never knew...  
  
Kelsey: *phone in hand* ....buttons...*presses buttons*  
  
Rei: Yup! *hands rum*  
  
Kia: ^^ Thanks! *downs rum*  
  
Jin: o.o;;  
  
Kelsey: Booop beeep dooo dooop beeee bop eee dop! *puts phone to ear*  
  
Shishiwakamaru: *staring oddly at everyone*  
  
Phone: You have reached the inner sanctum of Evil Overlords, Inc. To request Evil Lordship over a small country, press one. To file a complaint with our Corporate Evil Overlord, or CEO, press two. If you are calling about the doomsday device, press three and say the bolivean alphabet backwards to the tune of love shack.  
  
Kelsey: ...oooh.  
  
Kia: o.o What the hell?  
  
Rei: *grabs phone*  
  
Kelsey: *blink* 'Ey! SHISHI!  
  
Rei: *presses three*  
  
Pint: *jumps at Shishi* Drink me!  
  
Shishiwakamaru: o.o What the hell are you?  
  
Kelsey: He's a pint. *drapes arm over Shishi*  
  
Rei: *into phone* Avhu, eoi, ore, omv, oie...  
  
Shishiwakamaru: I see...*looks over at Kelsey* You're DRUNK!!  
  
Kia: Brilliant, Shishi...*blinks* Shishi...that's funny!  
  
Kelsey: ...yeh. *sways*  
  
Rei: Swo, pre, ero, amae, apeo…*blinks*...does anyone know the first three letters of the Bolivean alphabet?!  
  
Kia and Jin: *shake their heads*  
  
Pug: Snort snort snort...  
  
Kelsey: Hehehe...that's funny...the pint...he knows what he's sayin', right, Shishi...  
  
Rei: Er...reoir, woe, weo!  
  
Phone: Thank you for calling. Stay on the line for the codes to the doomsday device. We appreciate your patience. *elevator music*  
  
Shishiwakamaru: ...Right...  
  
Pint: Drink me!  
  
Kelsey: A'ight. *bends over*...*picks up pint*  
  
Kia: Why do you need a doomsday device, anyway? Sea monkeys work just fine.  
  
Rei: I dunno...just something to do?  
  
Pint: *leans forwards*  
  
Kelsey: *drinks pint*  
  
Kia: -.- You need a hobby.  
  
Rei: I've got one! It's called violence.  
  
Kelsey: Hehehe...*tries to drag Shishi into kitchen*..there's pointy things in there...  
  
Kia: -.- A BETTER hobby?  
  
Rei: Building a better bomb?  
  
Shishi: o.o Away from the pointy things...  
  
Kia: ...No.  
  
Kelsey: ...but they're sharp...  
  
Rei: The world's deadliest chainsaw?  
  
Shishi: Exactly.  
  
Kia: ...REI.  
  
Kelsey: ...why?  
  
Rei: ...uh...axewarmers? For optimum slash-ness?  
  
Shishi: Sharp pointy things are bad.  
  
Kia: ...Scratch hobbies, you need a husband. -.-  
  
Kelsey: Oh...what else, then?  
  
Rei: ...where do you think you'd find me one?  
  
Shishi: Uh...cookies?  
  
Kia: I dunno, anywhere? Marry Jin.  
  
Kelsey: Oooh...*stumbles into kitchen*  
  
Rei: Hm...*eyes Jin*  
  
Jin: *blinks*  
  
Shishi: *follows Kelsey*  
  
Rei: Helloooo, honey-lover! *bats eyelashes*  
  
Jin: o.o  
  
Cookie Jar: *in kitchen* Crrrrassssh...  
  
Kelsey: ...pointy!  
  
Shishi: o.o NO!  
  
Kelsey: *laughing*  
  
Rei: *hugs Jin* Hello, saiai!  
  
Jin: o.o WHAT?!  
  
Rei: I'm marrying you!  
  
Jin: ...No you're not.  
  
Kelsey: *runs into room carrying shards of glass cookie jar* Sharp!  
  
Rei: Kia hath deemed it so, my most precious beloved.  
  
Jin: Has she now..-.-  
  
Shishi: o.o Drop!!  
  
Kelsey: *cowers*  
  
Rei: Oh yes! *smooches Jin*  
  
Jin: O.O  
  
Shishi:...I love you very much, but drop the shards...  
  
Rei: Aw, isn't he cuuute, Kia?  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* Sure...  
  
Kelsey: Uh...yeah...drop...*nods and drops shards*  
  
Shishi: Good...  
  
Rei: You sure picked a good one! *huggles Jin*  
  
Jin: *glaring at Kia*  
  
Kelsey: More cookies now?  
  
Shishi: ...Fine.  
  
Kelsey: ..eh, no.  
  
Rei: What's the matter?  
  
Jin: *still glaring at Kia who is determinedly ignoring him*  
  
Rei: *leans on Jin*  
  
Jin: *loses balance and topples over*  
  
Shishi: No?  
  
Kelsey: *shrugs* ...s'bloody pint.  
  
Rei: Nooooooo! SAIAI!  
  
Shishi: ...o.o  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops*   
  
Kelsey: Piiint? *looks around*  
  
Shishi: Uh...Kelsey...?  
  
Rei: *picks up Jin* My loooove...  
  
Jin: x.x Kia, I'm gonna kill yooooouuuuu...  
  
Rei: *sob* Save your strength, my dear...  
  
Jin:...dear??  
  
Rei: ...yes?  
  
Kelsey: …yeh?  
  
Shishi: Maybe you need to lie down...  
  
Kelsey: Uhh….*blink*…why?  
  
Jin: Kia, I'm REALLY gonna kill you.  
  
Kia: ^^;; Who's marriage-phobic NOW?  
  
Rei: Oh, don't be hatin'...she won't try to take us apart...we're together forever...*hugs*  
  
Jin: ...x.x I want freedom.  
  
Shishi: Because...umm...you need to.  
  
Rei: Then free we shall be, from the hateful eyes and the whispers. Let's elope, my saiai! Only then will we ever be free.  
  
Kelsey: Uh...s'pint?  
  
Shishi: No.  
  
Jin: o.o That's not what I meant.  
  
Kia: *now silently laughing her head off*  
  
Rei: I know what you meant...we share a deep lovers' bond, I know your every thought...*grin*  
  
Kelsey: But...*blinks and sways*  
  
Jin: o.o  
  
Shishi: o.o;; Lie down. Now.  
  
Rei: *leans on Jin* We'll be together soon, honey-lover.  
  
Jin: *looking very alarmed* Help me...  
  
Kelsey: Um...couch...*looks around* S'pint?  
  
Shishi: -.- No pint.  
  
Kia: *still laughing*  
  
Rei: *snuggles Jin* I'll give you all the help you'll ever need...  
  
Kelsey: Uh...'kay. Couch...  
  
Jin: *shakes defiant fist at Kia, who is STILL laughing*  
  
Shishi: *picks up Kelsey and settles her down on a couch*  
  
Rei: Save the anger, you'll want it for when the minister overcharges for our beautiful day of union..  
  
Jin: ...WHAT??  
  
Kelsey: 'EY! I walk...couch. *blink* Oh. I'm on th'...s'pint? *looks over edge of couch at the rug*  
  
Shishi: No pint.  
  
Kia: *valiantly muffling laughter* C...congratulations you two...  
  
Rei: I know, I can't wait either! It turns out the same nice man who gave me doomsday codes knows a man who has a son with a sister's ex-boyfriend's niece that has a father that weds lovers...  
  
Pint: *dances in*  
  
Kelsey: S'pint!  
  
Kia: Really, now...how convenient. ^^;;  
  
Shishi: *glares at pint*  
  
Rei: I know! *kisses Jin* He's adorable!  
  
Kelsey: Pint!  
  
Shishi: No!  
  
Jin: o.o *looking horrified*  
  
Kelsey: Erp! *falls off couch*  
  
Rei: *smiles*  
  
Pint: *runs towards Kelsey*  
  
Shishi: *steps on pint*  
  
Jin: *now plotting against Kia* Hey...can't you hook her up? It seems so sad that she's all alone...  
  
Rei: But I'm with you...I'll never need anything again. *snuggles Jin some more* You're so fluffy!  
  
Pint: *smashes*  
  
Kelsey: o.o My pint...  
  
Jin: *gasping for air*  
  
Shishi: Bwahahaha!!  
  
Kelsey: Uh...*lies on rug*  
  
Pint: Nuuuuuuuu...  
  
Rei: What's the matter?  
  
Shishi: *picks up Kelsey again; puts her on couch*  
  
Pint: *dies*  
  
Kia: …*blinks* You're cutting off his air supply.  
  
Rei: *relaxes* C'mon, ya tired, saiai?  
  
Kelsey: *stares at ceiling*  
  
Jin: x.x Ouch...  
  
Rei: *blink* Kelsey's an odd drunk.  
  
Shishi: *sweatdrops*  
  
Rei: But you're so much cuter, Jiiin-san!  
  
Jin: o.o Somehow, some way, Kia...I WILL get revenge.  
  
Kia: *very sweetly* SURE you will.  
  
Rei: I looove you, Jin-san!  
  
Kelsey: *blink* S'Shishi? *laughs*  
  
Jin: x.x Ack...  
  
Shishi: *sweatdrops* Uh...  
  
Rei: Had enough to drink, saiai? *offers new pint*  
  
Jin: Get it away...  
  
Kelsey: *laughs* Shishiwakamaru. Shishiwashamasha...Shishimakawaka...  
  
Shishi: ...  
  
Rei: Oh...*gulps down pint*...ah, my honey-lover...how kind of Kia to show me to my true love...^^  
  
Jin: *with gritted teeth* Yes...how...KIND...  
  
Rei: ^^ *snuggles*  
  
Kelsey: *blink*...S'pint s'Shishi?  
  
Jin: x.x  
  
Shishi: -.- No...  
  
Kelsey: Ah...no pint s'Shishiwakamaru?  
  
Shishi: Go to sleep already.  
  
Rei: I think she wants you to have a pint, dear Shishi.  
  
Shishi: I don't want one.  
  
Rei: Ah. ..*to Kelsey* s'Shishi s'pint not.  
  
Kelsey: Ah...*grin*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops*  
  
Rei: It's the language of drunks.  
  
Kia: Ah...  
  
Rei: *hugs Jin* 


	5. Go Fish Go!

Rei: *jumps Kia* GO FISH GO!  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops*Umm...Rah?  
  
Rei: *hugs* GO FISH GO!  
  
Kia: x.x Go fish...  
  
Jin: Got any threes?  
  
Rei: *picks up Jin*  
  
Pint: Go fish go!  
  
Jin: *sweatdrops*  
  
Rei: *holds Jin above her head* Go Jin go!  
  
Kia: o.o Go, Jin?  
  
Rei: *throws Jin out window* GO FISH GO!  
  
Kelsey: o.o...  
  
Kia: o.o   
  
Shishiwakamaru: O.o  
  
Jin: EEEEEE!!!!  
  
Rei: Yay! *claps hands* ... *looks around*  
  
Pint: *hides*  
  
Kia and Shishiwakamaru: *both dive under the table with Kurama*  
  
Kelsey: *backing away*  
  
Rei: *crazy grin*  
  
Kia: o.o Run, Kelsey!!  
  
Pint: *cowers*  
  
Kelsey: ...  
  
Rei: ...go Kelsey go!  
  
Kelsey: NOOOO!!! *runs*  
  
Kia: ...  
  
Shishi: NOOOOOO!!  
  
Rei: *chases*  
  
Pint: *laughs*  
  
Kia: *smacks pint*  
  
Kelsey: Hehehe...she won't find me here! *in closet*  
  
Rei: ...go Kelsey go? *looks around*  
  
Kia: x.x Hide, Kelsey, hide.  
  
Kelsey: *is already in closet*  
  
Shishi: My poor love...  
  
Kia:...I don't see you doing anything to SAVE her!  
  
Kelsey: *hides under pile of coats*  
  
Rei: *knocks on closet door* Hello stinky sneakers! I need to come in.  
  
Kelsey: *squeaky voice* Please, no...we're busy!  
  
Kia: o.o...  
  
Rei: ...that doesn't sound like you guys...  
  
Kelsey: *hurriedly lowers tone* Uh, we're busy. Very busy.  
  
Rei: ...oh. Sorry, then.  
  
Kelsey: Thank you.  
  
Rei: For what?  
  
Kelsey: We're busy!  
  
Rei: Thank you for we're busy?  
  
Kelsey: ...  
  
Kia and Shishi: ...  
  
Kelsey: The umbrella is being fixed.  
  
Rei: ...you broke the umbrella.  
  
Kelsey: ....not us..  
  
Rei: ...you..broke..Umbrella?  
  
Sneakers: *squeaking* Impostor!  
  
Kelsey: No...no, it's not broken!  
  
Rei: YOU LIE!  
  
Kurama: Oh, my...  
  
Kelsey: Um...yes..I mean NO, we don't lie...we're good sneakers, please don't come in.  
  
Rei: So you broke Umbrella?  
  
Sneakers: *now outraged* IMPOSTOR!! *start whapping Kelsey*  
  
Kelsey: HEY! *attemps to fight off swarm of angry sneakers* Owwww...stop it!  
  
Rei: You okay in there, sneakers?  
  
Kelsey: I'm *ow* fine...I...I mean we.  
  
Sneakers: IMPOSTOR!!  
  
Kelsey: NOOO!!!! *bursts out of closet, trying to evade army of enraged sneakers*  
  
Kia: o.o  
  
Rei: Kelsey!  
  
Kelsey: Gaaaah! *runs the other way.*  
  
Kia: *pokes Shishi* Go save her, idiot!!  
  
Shishi: I can't even save myself...x.x  
  
Rei: Go Shishi go?  
  
Kelsey: *stops*  
  
Rei: *blink* I'm so confused.  
  
Shishi: o.o  
  
Kia: Yes. Go Shishi go.  
  
Kelsey: ...noooo...  
  
Rei: Go Shishi go!*runs towards Shishi*  
  
Shishi: Ack!! *runs*  
  
Rei: GO SHISHI GO! *chases*  
  
Kelsey: NOOOO! *chases*  
  
Shishi: HEEEEELPPPPP!!  
  
Kia and Kurama: *exchange looks, then both shrug*  
  
Kelsey: *whacks Kurama*  
  
Kurama: HEY! What was that for??  
  
Kelsey: You don't want it to be "Go Kurama Go", do you?!  
  
Kurama: ...No, I don't.  
  
Kelsey: Then help me!  
  
Kurama: Make Kia help!  
  
Rei: *tackles Shishi*  
  
Kelsey: Go Kurama go!  
  
Rei: *stops* Go Kurama go?  
  
Kelsey: *takes a deep breath*  
  
Kurama: NO!  
  
Shishi: This is most uncomfortable...  
  
Kelsey: GO KURAMA GO!  
  
Rei: Go Kurama go! *jumps up*  
  
Kelsey: Muahahahaha!  
  
Kurama: *runs*  
  
Kelsey: Wheeee!  
  
Rei: *chases* Go Kurama go!  
  
Kurama: No!   
  
Hiei: *joining Kia* Hn.  
  
Kia: ^^ Oh, hello, Hiei.  
  
Rei: *tackles Kurama*  
  
Kelsey: Hehehe.  
  
Rei: Go Kurama go! *lifts Kurama up*  
  
Kurama: .  
  
Rei: *throws Kurama out window*  
  
Kelsey: Hehehe.  
  
Kia: *waves good-bye to poor Kurama*  
  
Rei: ...hm.  
  
Kelsey: ..err....go Hiei go?  
  
Hiei: *glares at Kelsey and draws his katana*  
  
Kelsey: ...*backs away*...  
  
Rei: Go Kia go!  
  
Kia: *blinks*  
  
Kelsey: ...no...I didn't...say that...  
  
Rei: Muahahahaha! GO KIA GO!  
  
Kia: Eep?! *runs into the kitchen*  
  
Kelsey: *whacks Hiei* You idiot!  
  
Rei: *chases*  
  
Hiei: *glares at Kelsey* Hn. I did nothing.  
  
Kia: *hides in the pantry*  
  
Kelsey: GO HIEI GO! *lifts Hiei*  
  
Hiei: *holds out katana* Want to die?  
  
Kelsey: Maybe I do, midget!  
  
Rei: Kia?  
  
Kia: *remaining silent*  
  
Hiei: Good.  
  
Rei: *knocks on pantry* hello...spices? Please come out, I'm searching your house.  
  
Kelsey: *glares at Hiei*  
  
Spices: What now? You searched yesterday!  
  
Hiei: *glares back*  
  
Rei: ...this is an urgent matter of throwing people out of windows!  
  
Kelsey: Go. Hiei. Go.  
  
Spices: Throw yourself out the window, then!  
  
Rei:...no, that's no fun.  
  
Hiei: *smacks Kelsey with his katana*  
  
Kelsey: ...ack...  
  
Spices: Throw Suzuki out the window.  
  
Rei: ...nah. I want Kia.  
  
Kelsey: You...stupid...bastard!  
  
Spices: If you give Cinnamon back.  
  
Hiei: Baka ningen.  
  
Rei: ..I don't HAVE cinnamon.  
  
Spices: You took her!!  
  
Kelsey: *drags Hiei towards window*  
  
Rei: I did not!  
  
Hiei: *kicks Kelsey hard*  
  
Spices: Did too!  
  
Kelsey: ...you...will...die!  
  
Rei: Prove it!  
  
Hiei: Hn. *pulls free and disappears*  
  
Spices: She's in your right sleeve!  
  
Kelsey: ...bastard...  
  
Rei: ...*looks in left sleeve* She's not!  
  
Spices: CHECK BOTH SLEEVES!  
  
Rei: *checks right sleeve*...  
  
Kelsey: ...where the hell...  
  
Kia and Spices: *sweatdrop*  
  
Rei: Oh! *grabs Cinnamon* Open up, then, I've got her!  
  
Spices: Yay! *pantry opens*  
  
Kelsey: HIEI YOU BASTARD! GET YOUR MIDGET ASS DOWN HERE SO YOU CAN DIE!  
  
Rei: Woot!  
  
Shishi: Somehow I don't think that's gonna work...  
  
Cinnamon: I'm freee...*coughcough*...  
  
Kelsey: Just watch me, Youkai-boy.  
  
Spices: *gather around Cinnamon for spicy celebration*  
  
Shishi: Oh, I'm watching...  
  
Kelsey: Maybe I should save myself the trouble and just throw YOU out the window.  
  
Rei: KIA! *glomps*  
  
Kia: x.x Hi Rei...  
  
Rei: GO KIA GO!  
  
Shishi: That wouldn't be very nice...  
  
Kia: Do I have to??  
  
Kelsey: Wouldn't it, now?  
  
Rei: ...yes. Yes you do.  
  
Shishi: ...  
  
Rei: *carries Kia out of Pantry*  
  
Kia: I'm doomed...-.-  
  
Kelsey: It's either you or Hiei, blue-haired bastard.  
  
Rei: Yes you are.  
  
Shishi: Oh. Then go for Hiei. Your friend's next anyway....  
  
Kia: But...*sniffles*   
  
Kelsey: I can't GET to Hiei.  
  
Rei: What?  
  
Kia: I don't want to die!!  
  
Rei: ...sure you do.  
  
Kia: . No I don't.  
  
Kelsey: So you're going to have to help me get Hiei if you don't want it to be you.  
  
Rei: Yes you do.  
  
Shishi: *sigh* Fine...  
  
Kelsey: Thank you.  
  
Kia: Nuh-uh.  
  
Rei: Yup!  
  
Shishi: You're welcome. Bye, Kia! *waves to her*  
  
Kia: ...I hate you both.  
  
Kelsey: HIEI!  
  
Rei: Dying is fun!  
  
Kia: Not for me!!  
  
Hiei: *says nothing*  
  
Rei: Yes it is!  
  
Kelsey: Hiei, if you don't get your ass down here, I'm gonna kill someone! *glares*  
  
Hiei: *still silent*  
  
Kia: No it isn't!  
  
Kelsey: I don't think she's going to throw you, Kia.  
  
Rei: OH REALLY?!  
  
Kia: ...Sure?  
  
Kelsey: She's going to throw Hiei.  
  
Rei: ...no...GO KIA GO!  
  
Kelsey: ...no.  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops*  
  
Kelsey: ...go Hiei go....  
  
Rei: Hiei?  
  
Kelsey: Yes. Put Kia down.  
  
Rei: ...go Hiei go...  
  
Kelsey: Yeeees...put Kia doooowwn....slooow...  
  
Kia: o.o....  
  
Rei: ...slooow.  
  
Kelsey: ...put her down...  
  
Rei: ...yeah. *lowers Kia slowly* Sloooow.  
  
Kia: *blinks*  
  
Kelsey: Good..  
  
Rei: Goood.  
  
Kelsey: Shishi! Where's Hiei?  
  
Rei: GO HIEI GO!  
  
Shishi: Ask Kia. I don't know.  
  
Kelsey: ...Kia...?  
  
Rei: ...no Hiei?  
  
Kelsey: Yes. Yes, Hiei is here.  
  
Kia: Hiei's in the attic...  
  
Kelsey: Good. *runs to attic* Bye!!  
  
Rei: Bye!  
  
Kia: Uh...Bye?  
  
Rei: ..what was I doing? Oh, yeah. *lifts Kia*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* Oh, no...  
  
Kelsey: HIEI! *storms into attic* YOU HALF-ASSED MIDGET! GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW, SOMEONE'S GONNA DIE!  
  
Hiei: Will it be you?  
  
Kelsey: MAYBE IT WILL, JUST GET OUT HERE!  
  
Rei: GO KIA GO!  
  
Hiei: *mutters, but steps out*  
  
Kia: I don't wanna goooo!!!  
  
Kelsey: Good. Come with me, please.  
  
Rei: *tosses Kia into air and catches* Go Kia go?  
  
Hiei: ...  
  
Kia: x.x No go.  
  
Kelsey: Please. You can do all the killing you want. Later.  
  
Rei: No...no kia go?  
  
Kelsey: Nokia? Those cellphones are crap.  
  
Hiei: Fine...  
  
Rei: Kia..no go.  
  
Kia: x.x Please, enough punny nicknames...  
  
Kia: Right. Kia no go.  
  
Kelsey: Good, Hiei..  
  
Rei: ...who goes? *slowly lowers Kia*  
  
Hiei: *glares harshly* I'm not your dog.  
  
Kia: *blinks* Well, there's always Shishi...  
  
Kelsey: Okay, please..this way...*walks slowly out of attic*  
  
Rei: *puts Kia down*  
  
Kia: *sighs in relief*  
  
Hiei: *follows, still glaring*  
  
Kelsey: Good...*walks into window room*  
  
Rei: Go Shishi go.  
  
Shishi: Hell no.  
  
Rei: Hell yeah!  
  
Kelsey: ...go...  
  
Rei: *lifts Shishi* Go Shishi go!  
  
Shishi: ...HEY!  
  
Kelsey: ...no, that's bad...  
  
Rei: ...she said it was okay. *looks at Kia*  
  
Kia: ...It was an example. x.x  
  
Rei: No go Shishi go?  
  
Kia: *blinks at Hiei* Oh, you came back...no go Shishi go. Go Hiei go.  
  
Hiei: *glares at Kia*  
  
Kelsey: *lifts Hiei* GO HIEI GO! *drags Hiei to window*  
  
Rei: ..go Hiei go.  
  
Hiei: x.x  
  
Kelsey: Muahahahaha! DIE! *throws Hiei out window*  
  
Kia: *watching poor Hiei get thrown*   
  
Rei: Hey! I was gonna do that!  
  
Kelsey: Too bad.  
  
Kia: Feel the love?  
  
Kelsey: I refuse.  
  
Rei: ...go Shishi go!  
  
Kelsey: Run.  
  
Shishi: *runs*  
  
Kelsey: Muahahahaha! It's hell on earth!  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* Everyone's gone insane...  
  
Pint: Is Suzuki home yet?  
  
Kia: I think he was in his workshop...so yeah...  
  
Rei: *chases*  
  
Kelsey: Isn't this fun?  
  
Kia:...Insane...  
  
Kelsey: Let's go! *runs downstairs after Rei*  
  
Kia: I'll just...stay here?  
  
Kelsey: Woot! *chases*  
  
Pint: ..uggh...where's Suzuki? He's gonna be pissed.  
  
Shishi: *running for dear life*  
  
Kia: *blinks at pint* Workshop.  
  
Pint: Shouldn't we get him?  
  
Rei: *chasing Shishi, laughing evilly*  
  
Kia: I guess so...  
  
Kelsey: *yelling obscenities, chasing Rei*  
  
Pint: I can't open doors.  
  
Kia: Okayyy....  
  
Shishi: *still running*  
  
Pint: So help me, damnit!  
  
Rei: GO SHISHI GO! *tackles Shishi*  
  
Shishi: *falls*  
  
Kelsey: NO, you bitch! *tackles Rei*  
  
Kia: *picks up pint* Hey, watch your manners.  
  
Pint: ...sorry. It's hard to be self-assured when you're six inches tall.  
  
Rei: Hey! *whacks everything she can reach*  
  
Kia: There are support groups, you know...*opens the door and looks around* Suzuki?  
  
:  
  
Pint: HELP US!  
  
Kelsey: SUZUKI?!  
  
Rei: GO SHISHI GO! *stands, still lifting Shishi, with Kelsey clinging on her back*  
  
Suzuki: *blinks* Help you with what?  
  
Shishi: x.x Noooo!!  
  
Kelsey: Yaah!  
  
Rei: *staggers to window-room*  
  
Pint: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!  
  
Kia: He's exaggerating. Shishi's gonna die.  
  
Suzuki: WHAAAT??  
  
Pint: IT ALREADY GOT JIN, KURAMA, AND HIEI!  
  
Kia: *flinches* Yes, She did...  
  
Suzuki: It or She?  
  
Kelsey: You die now, bastard! *kicks Rei*  
  
Rei: Oof...*leans on windowsill* Go people go!  
  
Pint: IT'LL KILL US ALLL!! KILL US UNTIL WE'RE DEAAAD!  
  
Shishi: x.x  
  
Kia: Okay, Pint, shut up.  
  
Rei: GO! *lifts Shishi*  
  
Pint: I WILL NOT! I DON'T WANT TO BE THROWN OUT A WINDOW!  
  
Shishi: *screams*  
  
Kelsey: NOOOOOOOO!  
  
Kia: x.x Shut up before I throw you out myself.  
  
Pint: Help us!  
  
Kelsey: *bites Rei*  
  
Rei: EEEAGH! *lets go of Shishi*  
  
Suzuki: Well, where is he??  
  
Shishi: *drops*  
  
Kelsey: HEY! *grabs Shishi's arm*  
  
Shishi: *dangles* x.x  
  
Rei: GO PEOPLE GO! *tries to shake Kelsey off*  
  
Kelsey: We're going to die.  
  
Suzuki: Hoooah!!! *tackles Rei*  
  
Rei: Hey!  
  
Kelsey: OW! *lets go*  
  
Suzuki: Release my...err..friend!  
  
Rei: She released herself!  
  
Kelsey: *one hand on Shishi's arm, other on the pullcord for miniblinds*  
  
Kelsey and Shishi: *dangle*  
  
Rei: Go Suzuki go!  
  
Suzuki: *hauling them up* Oh, shut up.  
  
Rei: I will not!  
  
Pint: She'll kill us all!  
  
Kia: Shut up!!  
  
Pint: NO! SHE ALREADY GOT THE OTHERS!  
  
Kia: Shut up before I feed you to the Pug.  
  
Pint: You'd make your pug drunk?  
  
Kia: Pugs are immune. To everything. x.x *sweatdrops* They're not dead, anyway.  
  
Kelsey: *thunk* Are you insane?  
  
Kia: I'm serious!  
  
Kelsey: Rei...never do that...again..or I will beat your sorry ass!  
  
Rei: Nyah!  
  
Kelsey: That's it! *tackles Rei* GO REI GO!  
  
Kia: o.o  
  
Kelsey: *drags Rei to window* Someone help me!  
  
Rei: Nyah! *whacks*  
  
Kia: *drops Pint and grabs Rei's legs*  
  
Kelsey: Ow. *blinks* GO REI GO. On three. *swings* One...  
  
Kia: *swings* Two...  
  
Kelsey and Kia: THREE! *throws*  
  
Kelsey: Go. Rei. Go.  
  
Kia: Bye, Rei!! *waves*  
  
Kelsey: Yay! *dances around* ...what happened to the other three?  
  
Kia: ^^ They're unconscious.  
  
Kelsey: Damn. Go Shishi go?  
  
Shishi: Don't be mean.  
  
Kelsey: ...I still want to kill something.  
  
Kia: Kill the pint.  
  
Pint: *shrinks behind Kia*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops*  
  
Kelsey: But the pint gives me rum.  
  
Kia: There're other pints. Gallons, even.  
  
Pint: Please...don't you remember all the good times we had?  
  
Kelsey: ...meh. *goes into attic*  
  
Kia:...Good times?  
  
Pint: I got her drunk. That was pretty fun.  
  
Kia: That's not "good times" x.x   
  
Pint: Sure it is! We were both happyl  
  
Kia: Until she got a hangover.  
  
Pint: …but...  
  
Kia: Who do you think stayed up three nights trying to give her aspirin??  
  
Pint: ...Suzuki?  
  
Suzuki: Not me.  
  
Pint: ...Shishi?  
  
Kia: No.  
  
Pint: It's like trying to find out who stole the friggin' cookies....Rei?  
  
Kia: No.  
  
Pint: Oh! I know. ME!  
  
Kia: NO.  
  
Pint: ...Kelsey?  
  
Kia: x.x  
  
Pint: This is too unhappy. I'm gonna go see if Kelsey wants to get drunk. *hops off towards attic*  
  
Kia: *grabs it* NO.  
  
Pint: Baka.  
  
:  
  
Kia: ...I know you didn't just call me that.  
  
Pint: Baka.  
  
Kia: Okay, that does it, I'm SMASHING you!!  
  
Pint: No! Suzuki..help?  
  
Suzuki: She has a point...  
  
Pint: And what point is that?!  
  
Suzuki: I dunno, but I don't wanna mess with her when she's mad.  
  
Pint: Coward.  
  
Suzuki: I prefer "Smart".  
  
Pint: So who's gonna save you when Rei comes back?  
  
Suzuki: Me.  
  
Pint: Who's gonna save Shishi?  
  
Suzuki: Kelsey.  
  
Pint: Who's saving Kelsey?  
  
Suzuki: Kia.  
  
Pint: Then who's gonna save Kia?  
  
Suzuki: Jin-oh, wait...I don't know.   
  
Pint: See...without me, you'd be screaming like babies when Rei came back  
  
Kia: ...Can I kill it now?  
  
Pint: Because I'M saving Kia.  
  
Kia:...Really, now.  
  
Pint: *puffs out chest* Yes I am!  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops*  
  
Kelsey: *through air vent* Gee...I'll bet he's gay.  
  
Kia: Nooo...x.x Why gay guys??  
  
Pint: You taught me to believe in myself, Kia! *all sappy sounding*  
  
Kia: o.o All I said was find a support group!!  
  
Pint: But it meant so much more. She'll never harm you, Kia!  
  
Kia: ...I'm starting to understand how Jin felt...x.x  
  
Kelsey: Yup, he's gay.  
  
Kia: Now you know why I avoid marriage at all costs, Kelsey.  
  
Pint: Anyone else?  
  
Kia: Anyone else what?  
  
Pint: ...I don't know.  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* Okay, Pint, if you leave me alone, I won't shatter you.  
  
Pint: ..but I'm your protector now!  
  
Kelsey: *voice through air vent* You're a six-inch bastard. I didn't know they made them that small.  
  
Kia:...She has a point...  
  
Kelsey: *voice through air vent* Damn straight. What am I gonna drink if you run off to protect someone who's already taken?  
  
Kia: Wait. How the hell am I taken??  
  
Kelsey: *voice through air vent* Doesn't matter. Listen up, Pint, I'm gonna be drinking vinegar in a second if you don't get up here.  
  
Pint: You're taken? How could you?! I thought I was..special...  
  
Kia: I had no idea I was taken...o.o  
  
Kelsey: *voice through vent* Good, now that that's settled...  
  
Pint: Right! *hops away*  
  
Kia: *grabs pint* NO.  
  
Kelsey: ...Kia!  
  
Kia: ...What?  
  
Kelsey: Unhand my pint.  
  
Kia: No. Not until you tell me who I'm taken by so I can beat them up.  
  
Kelsey: Jin. Now give me my rum.  
  
Kia: I'll toss it to you. Move the vent cover.   
  
Kelsey: *moves vent cover*  
  
Kia: *tosses Pint up*  
  
Kelsey: *catches* Thank you!  
  
Kia: Welcome. But have Shishi give you aspirin this time.  
  
Kelsey: Can do. *drinks*  
  
Kia: *sighs and shakes head* Now to beat up Jin...  
  
Kelsey: *burp*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* 


	6. A Mime in Time saves Nine

Kelsey: Miiiime...  
  
Kia: Mime?  
  
Kelsey: Miiiime! +.+  
  
Kia: Miiiime?  
  
Mime: *mimes*  
  
Kia: o.o  
  
Kelsey: o.o Make it stooop...  
  
Mime: *mimes*  
  
Kia: ...*smacks Mime with a cookie sheet*  
  
Mime: *mimes falling*  
  
Kelsey: ...it's creepy.  
  
Mime: *mimes falling a long way*  
  
Kelsey: ...*edges slowly away*  
  
Kia: ...Oh, for...*trips the mime and sits on him*  
  
Mime: *is being sat on*  
  
Kelsey: Mwaha.  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* What's a mime doing here, anyway?  
  
Rei: *appears, dressed in mime attire*...HEY! Why are you sitting on Mime?!  
  
Mime: *mimes shouting for help*  
  
Kelsey: Oh dear gods, no...  
  
Kia: o.o Rei, friend of yours?  
  
Rei: *brandishes Axe* YES!  
  
Mime: *mimes squishing a bug*  
  
Kelsey: ...this is disturbing. Poor Suzuki's House...  
  
Suzuki's House: Damn straight, poor me!  
  
Kia: x.x Forget the house, I don't want to deal with Mimes.  
  
Suzuki's House: You'd change your tone if you had crazy people jumping around inside YOU!  
  
Kelsey: x.x...yes...well...  
  
Rei: Get. Off. My. Mime.  
  
Kia: I'm sorry, House. I pity you. *blinks at mime* but if I do that, he'll mime again!  
  
Mime: *mimes Kia blinking*  
  
Kia: x.x *slaps Mime*  
  
Mime: *mimes slapping someone*  
  
Rei: GET OFF MY MIME!! *leaps at Kia*  
  
Kia: o.o Umm...? *ducks*  
  
Kelsey: ...Rei! *leaps after Rei*  
  
Mime: *rolls out from under Kia, mimes leaping after Kelsey*  
  
Rei: Ooof...*lands*  
  
Kelsey: Ack...*lands on Rei*  
  
Rei: ...please do not do that to Mime.  
  
Kia: ...*stares*  
  
Kelsey: *jumps up* That thing...is...unnatural!  
  
Kia: I say we kill it. -.-  
  
Kelsey: I second the motion.  
  
Mime: *mimes an invisible wall, sticks out tongue*  
  
Kia: ...Like now.  
  
Rei: Don't.  
  
Kelsey: ...like hell! *runs at Mime*  
  
Kia: Sorry, Rei, but that thing's bothering me...*runs after Kelsey*  
  
Kelsey: ...*thunk*...what the...?!  
  
Mime: *mimes laughing*  
  
Rei: I told you not to!  
  
Kia: *stops before she hits* ...Tell me...it didn't...  
  
Kelsey: *peels off invisible wall onto floor* ...owieeeee...  
  
Rei: Don't mess with Mime.  
  
Mime: *grins, mimes tipping a hat to Kelsey*  
  
Kia:...*glares at Mime* Okay, that does it. You're going down.  
  
Mime: *mimes another invisible wall*  
  
Rei: He's gonna box you iiiiin...*dances around with Axe* Let's go, Axe my boy!  
  
Kia: *sighs, before forming an oar* Ha! Botan taught me this...*hops on the floating oar and flies at Mime*  
  
Mime: *mimes getting in a car*  
  
Suzuki's House: DO NOT DRIVE IN ME!  
  
Mime: *mimes giving the finger to House*  
  
Kia: Grr...*tackles Mime* Be nice to the House, Baka!!  
  
Kelsey: ...you need to teach him manners, Rei...  
  
Rei: Nah, it's more fun this way.  
  
Mime: *mimes driving down stairs, miming laughing like a maniac*  
  
Kelsey: HEY! ...*looks around*...OAR! *grabs Kia's oar* Hi-ho silver, awaaaaaay!  
  
Kia: *now hanging onto Mime for dear life* Kuso!!  
  
Oar: *unresponsive*  
  
Kelsey: *still straddling oar* Damnit.  
  
Rei: Hehehe...*swings Axe*  
  
Kelsey: CRAZY LADY! *jumps away*  
  
Kia: Uh...Kelsey...I need to teach you how to make one...  
  
Mime: *drives into basement, miming running over several people*  
  
Kelsey: *throws oar at Rei* Shit.  
  
Rei: *swings Axe* Hoooyah! *slices oar in two*  
  
Suzuki's House: ...hey, that tickles!  
  
Kia: *still hanging on* I hate crazy drivers....  
  
Kelsey: KIA, LET GO! ...damn. *runs down stairs* Don't get Suzuki this time!  
  
Rei: ...ah....  
  
Kia:...Where's my oar?  
  
Kelsey: ...what oar?  
  
Mime: *mimes stopping the car*  
  
Kia: My oar. The thing that I was flying on. *blinks as Mime stops*  
  
Kelsey: ..I don't remember any oar...*dives into basement*...where are you?! It's dark in here!  
  
Mime: *mimes turning on a light*  
  
Kelsey: ...nothing.  
  
Kia:...*blinks* Oar! Oar!! That's weird...  
  
Rei: *skips towards Suzuki's workshop* La de da de daaaa...  
  
Kelsey: ...there's no oar, Kia! NO OAR! Are you hallucinating?  
  
Kia: *holds up hand and broken oar appears*...  
  
Kelsey: ....what are you doing? Are you MIMING, Kia?!  
  
Mime: *mimes indignancy*  
  
Kia: ...My OAR!!! What the hell HAPPENED?!  
  
Kelsey: WHAT OAR?!  
  
Mime: *mimes pushing Kia out of car*  
  
Kia: MY oar! *lets go, but then chucks oar at Mime*  
  
Rei: *knocks on door* Oh Suzuuuuuki....  
  
Kelsey: I don't see an oar!  
  
Suzuki: What??  
  
Mime: *drives up stairs, mimes locking basement door behind him*  
  
Rei: Hellooooo...  
  
Suzuki: x.x What do you want?  
  
Kia: *runs toward the door, tugs on it, then freezes* That...BASTARD!!  
  
Kelsey: ...yes...bastard...mehehe...let's kill him.  
  
Rei: Hi, Suzuuuuuki! *glomps*  
  
Kia: Once we get out of here?  
  
Suzuki: Ack!! *almost falls over* Uh...hi.  
  
Kelsey: ...oh. The basement...thing. SHIMATTA! *pounds on door*  
  
Mime: *mimes driving towards Rei*  
  
Rei: Oh, you'll never guess! *glomps again*  
  
Kia: ...We're stuck!!  
  
Kelsey: No shit, Sherlock!  
  
Suzuki: Probably not. -.-  
  
Mime: *mimes laughing evilly*  
  
Kia: Tsk, tsk. Language.  
  
Rei: Ack! Mime, NO! *jumps out of way* YOU DO NOT RUN ME OVER!  
  
Kelsey: ...sorry?  
  
Suzuki: *sweatdrops* What the hell?  
  
Kia: *sighs and forms a new oar, beating at the door with it*  
  
Rei: It's Mime! *glomps Suzuki* And he ran the girls over.  
  
Mime: *mimes swinging a butcher knife*  
  
Suzuki: He WHAT?!  
  
Kelsey: ...that stupid mime.  
  
Rei: ...did I say that? I meant..um...MIME, ME LADDIE! TO CANADA! *hides behind Mime*  
  
Mime: ...*mimes blinking, raises butcher knife*  
  
Rei: Kuso.  
  
Kia: ...*breaks down the door*  
  
Suzuki: o.o  
  
Rei: ...he's gonna kill us aaaaall...it's just you and me, Suzuki! We have to repopulate the house! *hides behind Suzuki* He's already got them with his Car of Mimish Doom!  
  
Kelsey: ...dude. Teach me the oar-thing sometime. o.o  
  
Suzuki: ...Repopulate...? *backs away*  
  
Kia: Will do. It's not that hard. ^^  
  
Mime: *mimes driving over people, laughing*  
  
Rei: It was awful...*sob*  
  
Suzuki: ...You have the weirdest friends, Rei...  
  
Kelsey: Oh? ...how about a giant Moose of DOOM, can that be done with the oar-thing?  
  
Rei: He WAS my friend...we must avenge the girls!  
  
Kia: Probably?  
  
Suzuki: I'm not very good at avenging.  
  
Mime: *mimes waving knife, runs at Suzuki*  
  
Rei: KUSO!  
  
Suzuki: *runs like hell*  
  
Rei: COWARD!  
  
Mime: *mimes chasing*  
  
Kelsey: ...are we going to get OUT of the basement at all? The door IS opened...  
  
Suzuki: Damn straight!!  
  
Kia: ...Oh, yeah. *walks out of the basement, hopping on her oar*  
  
Kelsey: ...Hey! *hangs onto oar*  
  
Rei: ...*chases Mime* YOU TWO GET BACK HERE AND AVENGE LIKE PERFECTLY SANE CITIZENS!  
  
Kia: *blinks* Oh. Oops.  
  
Suzuki: YOU avenge!!!!  
  
Kelsey: That's okay, I'll just hang on, dangling.  
  
Rei: YOU'RE the man here!  
  
Mime: *mimes leaping on Suzuki*  
  
Suzuki: *falls* Kuso!!  
  
Kia: There's room, you know...  
  
Jin, Shishiwakamaru, Kurama, and Hiei: *watching Mime antics with raised eyebrows*  
  
Kelsey: Nah, this is nice.  
  
Rei: *leaps on Mime*  
  
Mime: *mimes dropping knife*  
  
Kia: Hang on, then. This baby can get up to 70 mph in five seconds.  
  
Rei: Ahah! *grabs mimish knife*  
  
Kelsey: ...o.o...sure.  
  
Mime: *mimes horror*  
  
Rei: *evil laugh*...Kniiiiife...  
  
Suzuki: o.o Uh...  
  
Rei: Knife. Knife knife knife...  
  
Hiei: ...Hn.  
  
Kelsey: ...*dangling* ...are we going?  
  
Kia: *nudges oar and it speeds off*  
  
Rei: Mwahahahahaha...KNIFE! *brandishes knife at the air*  
  
Mime: *mimes picking up another knife*  
  
Shishi: ...She's gone insane.  
  
Kelsey: Gaaah...*trails behind oar* This is a ruuuuuuuush!  
  
Kia: I warned you!! *swerves sharply and collides with Mime*  
  
Kelsey: Woooooooot! *goes flying*  
  
Mime: *mimes dropping knife*  
  
Shishi: *catches Kelsey*  
  
Suzuki: Oh, look, you're not dead...  
  
Rei: *grabs second mimish knife* Kniiiiife! Hooyah! KNIFE-ES!  
  
Kia: *sitting on Mime*...Die, you bastard...  
  
Rei: It's a Mime sandwich, and we're bread! Let's cut it up!  
  
Kelsey: ...*blinks*...how the hell did you get all the way over here?  
  
Shishi: *smiles* Love works miracles.  
  
Kia: ...That was REALLY corny, Shishi...  
  
Shishi: Oh, shut up, loveless girl.  
  
Kelsey: *evil laugh*  
  
Rei: KNIFE-ES! *raises knives* Cut it up!  
  
Jin: ...I'm so confused.  
  
Kurama: So am I.  
  
Mime: *mimes picking up a rose*  
  
Kia: *blinks*  
  
Rei: I'LL CUT US TO SMIDGENS, MIME!  
  
Mime: *mimes giving rose to Kia*  
  
Kelsey: *cough*gay*cough*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* Ah...  
  
Jin: Bad luck with gay guys, eh, Kia?  
  
Kia: Shut up, you. -.-  
  
Rei: DIE! *brandishes knives at Kia* KNIFE-ES!  
  
Kelsey: REI!  
  
Rei: WHAAAAT?!  
  
Kelsey: Wrong person.  
  
Mime: *mimes blowing a kiss to Kia*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops, shooting Kelsey a desperate stare* Help me...  
  
Rei: Oh...*turns to Mime* Mime?  
  
Mime: *bats eyelashes at Kia*  
  
Kelsey: ...please put me down, Shishi. I have to kill some people.  
  
Kia: ...*backs away from Mime*  
  
Shishi: Try not to get killed...*sets her down*  
  
Kelsey: YAAAAAAAAH! *dives at Mime* YOU DIE NOW!  
  
Mime: *mimes shriek, backing behind Kia*  
  
Rei: Be nice to Mime!  
  
Kia: ...Don't use me as a shield!!  
  
Kelsey: ...but you wanted to kill him!  
  
Rei: Oh...that's right! KNIFE-ES! CUT 'EM UP, CUT 'EM UP GOOD!  
  
Mime: *mimes hugging Kia*  
  
Kia: ...*backfists Mime*  
  
Kelsey: UNHAND THE KIA! *leaps at Mime*  
  
Mime: *mimes falling*  
  
Jin, Kurama, and Hiei: *all sweatdrop*...  
  
Rei: YAAAH! *brandishes knives* I'll cut us up good!  
  
Kelsey: DIE! *whacks Mime* YOU EVIL...WRONG...THING!  
  
Mime: *mimes pain*  
  
Kia: *now slowly inching away*  
  
Mime: *mimes grabbing Kia's legs*  
  
Kelsey: DIE!  
  
Kia: *stumbles and falls* HEY!  
  
Rei: KNIFE-ES! *dances around, tossing knives up in the air and catching them*  
  
Mime: *mimes picking up flamethrower*  
  
Kia: o.o  
  
Kelsey: ...O.O  
  
Suzuki: *to Hiei* Hey, midget, wanna place a bet?  
  
Rei: KNIFE-ES!  
  
Hiei: ...I'm guessing the Mime.  
  
Rei: *throws knife at wall*  
  
Jin: Take cover! *dives under table*  
  
Kelsey: Kuso!  
  
Mime: *mimes throwing flames at Rei*  
  
Kia: *grabs oar and starts beating Mime over the head with it*  
  
Rei: Yaaaah! *throws knives up in air, neglecting to catch as she tries to dive into the sink*  
  
Kurama: *joins Jin under the table*  
  
Kelsey: ...damndamndamndamndamn...*grabs cookie sheet as a hard hat*....REI, STOP THE KNIFE-ES...I mean..THE KNIVES!  
  
Kia: Stop everything!!  
  
Rei: *glub glub glub*  
  
Suzuki's House: Don't start me on fire!  
  
Mime: *mimes throwing flames at the hiding-table*  
  
Rei: ...*put out*...aaaah...Knife-es?  
  
Kurama and Jin: o.o Shimatta!!  
  
Kia: o.o That wasn't very nice, Mime.  
  
Kelsey: ...eep...*backs away*...Kia, take the cookie sheet...  
  
Kia: Me?   
  
Mime: *mimes aiming flamethrower at the ceiling*  
  
Kelsey: I can't do anything with it!  
  
Suzuki's House: Don't you dare, Mime.  
  
Kia: Good point. *takes the cookie sheet* Okay, Mime, your end is nigh.  
  
Mime: *mimes throwing flames at ceiling*  
  
Kelsey: ...crap.  
  
Suzuki: My HOUSE!!  
  
Rei: *grabs knives* KNIFE-ES!  
  
Mime: *mimes maniacal laughter*  
  
Kia:...*whaps Mime with the cookie sheet* Oi, Baka, YAMATTE!!!  
  
Mime: *mimes pain in head*  
  
Kia: I mean it!! *continues whapping*  
  
Suzuki's House: It buuuuurns! IT BUUUUURNS! DAMN YOU ALL TO CRAP BOOGER HELL! YOU'RE KILLING MEEEE...*death gurgle*  
  
Mime: *mimes curling up in fetal position*  
  
Suzuki: My precious!! *bursts into tears*  
  
Kelsey: ...dude...the house is on fire. *stares*  
  
Kia:...I hate Mimes. x.x  
  
Rei: ...uh oh...*grabs knives* Pin the knife on the Mime!  
  
Kurama: Put out the fire!!  
  
Kelsey: Damn...*stares*...it's gonna collapse...  
  
Mime: *mimes covering head with hands*  
  
Rei: *throws knife*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* I REALLY hate mimes.  
  
Knife: *misses*...*hits wall*...  
  
Rei: Shimatta.  
  
Kelsey: ...hey, should we get out? It is kind of pretty, though...  
  
Kia: We're so screwed...  
  
Mime: *mimes shaking*  
  
Suzuki: *grabbing fire extinguisher and spraying fire*  
  
Rei: YOUR TIME IS NIGH, MIME-THING! *tosses knives over her shoulder carelessly, brandishing Axe*  
  
Kia: *ducks* Rei, watch your aim!!  
  
Kelsey: ...hey, look! I can see the sky...*points up*...poetic, kind of.  
  
Mime: *mimes crying*  
  
Rei: ...awww...isn't he cute?  
  
Kia: ...No. I'm still pissed.  
  
Rei: ...I can't do it.  
  
Mime: *mimes sighing in relief*  
  
Kelsey: ...poor House.  
  
Kia: Then I WILL! *glaring at Mime*  
  
Suzuki: My house...*sniffles*  
  
Kelsey: *sits down* I bet I can get him from here...*picks up knife*...wanna bet, Shishi?  
  
Rei: ...*materializes extinguisher*...here!  
  
Shishi: No, I have every bit of faith in you.  
  
Kia: If you mention love again, I'm going to hurt you. -.-  
  
Kelsey: He said faith, not love. *aims* Move, Kia...or not, your choice...*squints eyes*...damnit, can't you get him to stand?!  
  
Rei: Nooo...you can't kill him!  
  
Kia: Me? I doubt it.  
  
Shishi: Love is a beautiful thing...  
  
Mime: *mimes clutching at Kia's feet*  
  
Kia: *glares at Shishi, then down at the Mime* Hey, let go!  
  
House: You missed a little, Suzuki.  
  
Mime: *mimes pleading*  
  
Rei: *raises Axe* You kill him, I kill you, ningen.  
  
Suzuki: Sorry. *goes after the rest*  
  
House: Aaaaah...  
  
Kia: See, why can't he like YOU?  
  
Kelsey: ...*inches away*  
  
Rei: Because I brought him in. He can't love the one that brought him to the house.  
  
Kia: Then get him OUT!  
  
Mime: *mimes sobbing, wiping mimed tears on Kia's feet*  
  
Kelsey: ...you all have problems.  
  
Rei: ...no, I like him here.  
  
Kia: Thanks a lot. -.-  
  
Kelsey: ...meh. *tosses knife to floor*...killing mimes seems...boring, all of a sudden.  
  
Kia: He's not staying here. I absolutely refuse to let him stay.  
  
Rei: ...good. *picks up Mime* You're safe.  
  
Jin: I dunno, Kia, you two would make a cute pair.  
  
Kia: ...Jin, one more word, I swear...  
  
Rei: *drags Mime to Kia* Whaddaya think? Cute...but not like Jin. *winks at Jin* I haven't forgotten, Saiai.  
  
Jin: *sweatdrops*  
  
Mime: *tugs on Kia's arm*  
  
Kia: *sticking tongue out at Jin* Think about...*blinks at Mime* What?  
  
Kelsey: ...wow. *walks over to Suzuki* is House gonna be okay?  
  
Suzuki: A bit shaken, but he'll recover.  
  
Mime: *mimes giving rose to Kia*  
  
Kelsey: That's good.  
  
House: Yeah..  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* Can't you like someone else?  
  
Rei: The Mime has chosen...they pair up for life, you know.  
  
Kia: They WHAT?!  
  
Rei: Yes, the Mime is a very rare and almost extinct breed. You should consider yourself lucky, Kia.  
  
Jin: *now quietly laughing*  
  
Kia: But...I don't...I...I don't want to like a Mime!!  
  
Rei: Well, it's too late now...  
  
Mime: *mimes smiling at Kia*  
  
Kia: x.x My oar says otherwise. *holds it up defensively*  
  
Mime: *mimes taking away oar*  
  
Rei: They've got powers....scary powers...  
  
Kia: o.o Hey, give it back!!  
  
Mime: *mimes hugging Kia*  
  
Rei: *claps hands* He's so happy!  
  
Kia: Kelsey, help meeee....  
  
Kelsey: Huh? Oh, the Mime.  
  
House: Aww...  
  
Kia: YES, the Mime.   
  
Kelsey: ...well, he seems to really like you...you shouldn't mess with love, dude...  
  
Kia: You can't be serious...  
  
Rei: She's spaced out. *gives Mime to Kia* He's all yours!  
  
Kia: *horrified* But I don't WANT him!  
  
Rei: *waves hand in front of Kelsey*  
  
Mime: *mimes snuggling into Kia*  
  
Kelsey: *blinks*  
  
Rei: *flicks Kelsey's nose*  
  
Kelsey: *flinches*  
  
Rei: *waves Axe at Kelsey*  
  
Kelsey: Gaaah! *giant step backwards*  
  
Mime: *mimes patting Kia on the head*  
  
Kia: ...*still glaring darkly*  
  
Rei: She'll be just fine. Just don't let her handle sharp objects for awhile.  
  
House: I think it's nice that Kia's finally getting married.  
  
Kia: What...*stares* I'm NOT!!  
  
Shishi: I never let her handle sharp objects. x.x  
  
Jin: Awwww, Kia's getting married. *grins*  
  
Rei: Oh sure you are! I've got the wedding CEO still on the line, he's ordering special bridesmaids' dresses! *holds up picture of a mimish dress*  
  
Kia: o.o *runs like hell* Never!!!!  
  
Mime: *mimes still being carried by Kia*  
  
Kelsey: Heh. Heh. Heh.  
  
Kia: *drops Mime*  
  
Rei: HEY! *chases*  
  
Mime: *mimes rubbing his butt*  
  
Kia: Get away!! *runs faster*  
  
House: You can't hide from me! *closes next door*  
  
Kia: Oh my God, even Suzuki's house is against me...  
  
Kelsey: Heh.  
  
Rei: GET BACK HERE AND MARRY THE PSYCHOTIC PYROMANIAC MIME!  
  
Mime: *mimes having hurt feelings*  
  
Rei: Sorry, Mime.  
  
Kia: I don't WANNA!!!  
  
Suzuki's House: *slides carpet backwards*  
  
Rei: It'll be fun!  
  
Kia: *slips, trying to keep her balance and run forward* Damn you, House!!  
  
Jin, Kurama, and Hiei: *look amused*  
  
House: Mwahaha!  
  
Kelsey: Hehehe...*looks slightly insane*  
  
Mime: *clutches at Kia's feet*  
  
Kia: *falls* Let GO!!  
  
Mime: *mimes sobbing*  
  
Rei: *runs after Kia* Why don't you love him? He feels bad now! *stomps foot*  
  
Kelsey: ...  
  
Kia: *kicks at Mime* He can love someone else!  
  
Jin: Love doesn't work like that.  
  
Shishi: She wouldn't know. *sniffs*  
  
Mime: *mimes falling down stairs*  
  
Rei: MIME! *runs after Mime*  
  
Kelsey: Heheheheh...  
  
Kia: *runs behind Jin* House, I swear, if you don't open a door this minute, I'll burn you down.  
  
House: ....uh...*squirms*  
  
Mime: *mimes peering up at Kia*  
  
Rei: *picks up Mime, carrying him back up* That was very mean, Kia.  
  
Kia:...Get it away...  
  
Kelsey: ...why does she have to marry it, again?  
  
House: ...*opens closet door* Please don't hurt me!  
  
Kia: Thank you!! *runs inside closet*  
  
Rei: ...because he's lonely...hey!  
  
Jin: Call it revenge...?  
  
Rei: *gives Mime to Kurama* He's YOURS now.  
  
Mime: *blinks up at Kurama*  
  
Kurama: *blinks back* Uh...  
  
Kelsey: *knocks on closet door*  
  
Mime: *snuggles*  
  
Kia: Who is it?  
  
Kurama: *sweatdrops*  
  
Kelsey: The closet inspector. Open up.  
  
Kia: Riiight.  
  
Kelsey: It's ME, smart one.  
  
Rei: ...do you have any ham? Mime likes ham. *rifling through refridgerator*...geez, this is so much more boring than my fridge...  
  
Kia: You never know. *opens the door*  
  
Kelsey: *gets in closet*  
  
Kia:...Why are YOU hiding in the closet?  
  
Mime: *mimes hugging Kurama*  
  
Kelsey: ...I don't really know. Any thoughts?  
  
Kurama: *shooting helpless glance at anyone* Help...  
  
Rei: Oh, so he IS gay. Oh good...I was WORRIED for awhile...  
  
Kia: Maybe if we can't kill the Mime, we can...send it away? FAR away?  
  
Kurama: ...  
  
Kelsey: ...you mean like we did with the pigeons in the chimney?  
  
Kia: Okay, that was an accident.  
  
Kelsey: Riiight. So how is hiding in a closet fixing anythign?  
  
Kia: It keeps me from Mr. Mime...  
  
Rei: *gives ham to Kurama* Here you go. You'll need to mash it up before feeding him, though.  
  
Kurama:...Can't he feed himself?  
  
Kelsey: ...oh, right. ...so what do we do, send the sneakers out to attack?  
  
Rei: ...apparently not.  
  
Kia: The sneakers! I forgot about them...  
  
Kurama: YOU feed him.  
  
Rei: He chose YOU.  
  
Mime: *mimes reaching for ham*  
  
Kelsey: How could you forget? *whisper* Don't let them hear that.  
  
Kia: Okay...  
  
Sneakers: Hiisss...  
  
Kurama: *stuffs ham into Mime's mouth*  
  
Kelsey: So...how do we get them to...uh...perform Operation Pidgeons with the Mime?  
  
Mime: *mimes eating*  
  
Rei: Awww...  
  
Kia: Negotiate, maybe?  
  
Sneakers: Hissss....  
  
Kia: Wait. They hate impersonations. So maybe if the Mime tries to mime being a sneaker...  
  
Kelsey: ...how do we get him to...ah! *grabs two sneakers*  
  
Kia: *blinks*  
  
Sneakers: *hiss louder*  
  
Kelsey: *opens closet door and chucks sneakers at Mime*  
  
Kia: o.o  
  
Mime: *mimes falling*  
  
Sneakers: HISSSSS!!!  
  
Mime: *mimes hissing*  
  
Sneakers: *start whapping Mime*  
  
Mime: *mimes whapping sneakers*  
  
Sneakers: *whap harder*  
  
Kelsey: Uh...is there any part to this plan that involves actually getting him OUT?  
  
Kia:...Uh...Oops. I guess maybe my oar...  
  
Rei: *watches sneakers whap Mime*  
  
Kelsey: ...yeah? How did that help before?  
  
Mime: *mimes trying to run*  
  
Kia: It flies...so maybe if I ask Botan to fly him somewhere...  
  
Kelsey: ...okay!  
  
Sneakers: *pursue Mime*  
  
Kia: ...Botan?  
  
Botan: *appears on her oar* Kia-chan! What's up?  
  
Rei: ...wow.  
  
Kia: Mime. We need him...err...to...be taken somewhere...  
  
Kelsey: GET THE MIME! *cheering on sneakers*  
  
Botan: Taken where?  
  
Sneakers: *blush*  
  
Kelsey: *waves little flags with sneakers on them* GOOO SNEAKERS!  
  
Mime: *mimes hiding under burnt hiding table*  
  
Kelsey: *dances*  
  
Kia: Umm...Kelsey, where should the Mime go?  
  
Sneakers: *beat up on Mime*  
  
Rei: Hey, a dance! *dances*  
  
Mime: *mimes screaming in agony*  
  
Kurama: *covers ears*  
  
Kelsey: Heel, sole, lace, tongue! Our sneakers will be number one!  
  
Mime: *mimes trying feebly to bat sneakers away*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops*  
  
Sneakers: *continue assault*  
  
Botan: Okay! Bora Bora, then...*grabs Mime*  
  
Kelsey: You're the best, sneakers! Yaaaay! *cheers*  
  
Sneakers: *blush* Hiss...  
  
Mime: *mimes trying to escape Botan*  
  
Rei: *waves* Bye, Mime!  
  
Botan: *holds on tightly, hopping on oar and disappearing with Mime*  
  
Rei: *sniff*  
  
Kia: Whew...another marriage attempt thwarted.  
  
Kelsey: *hugs sneakers*  
  
Sneakers: *purr*  
  
Shishi: Hey....  
  
Kia: I think I may just become a nun. They don't have to get married. *inches towards front door*  
  
Rei: Aww, Shishi. *hugs Shishi*  
  
Shishi: I'd prefer Kelsey...x.x  
  
Kelsey: *still hugging sneakers* Don't even think about it, Kia.  
  
Kia: Why not?  
  
Kelsey: You live HERE....plus, I can set the Sneakers of Doom on you now.  
  
Kia: I'm in danger of getting married!!!! It's not safe here!  
  
Sneakers: Hisss?  
  
Kelsey: *pats* There there...she's not going anywhere.  
  
Kia: x.x I want freeeeedom. *starts for door and collides with Jin*  
  
Jin: Hey, can't escape.  
  
Rei: *picks up Shishi*  
  
Shishi: Put me DOWN!  
  
Rei: *hugs* Why?  
  
Shishi: I'm married!  
  
Kelsey: ...that's RIGHT, Rei. *death glint in eye*  
  
Rei: But he's too cute for you! *sticks out tongue* There, I said it.  
  
Kia and Jin: o.o *stare at Rei*  
  
Kia: ...Uh-oh.  
  
Kelsey: *sets sneakers down* ...what...did you...say?!  
  
Rei: *sticks nose in air* You heard me.  
  
Kia: *looks at Jin* Take cover.  
  
Jin: Right.  
  
Kelsey: Get out.  
  
Rei: Fine. *walks towards door, still carrying Shishi*  
  
Shishi: HEY!  
  
Kelsey: HEY!  
  
Rei: Yeees?  
  
Kelsey: Unhand my...er...Shishi. *blush*  
  
Kia: If this wasn't a life-death situation, I'd say "Awwwww".  
  
Rei: *clutches Shishi* No!  
  
Kelsey: Sneakers?  
  
Sneakers: Hissss...  
  
Kelsey: Get. Rei. NOW! *leaps at Rei*  
  
Sneakers: Hissss! *go after Rei*  
  
Kelsey: *grabs Shishi*  
  
Rei: ACK! *falls*  
  
Shishi: o.o  
  
Kelsey: RUN! *runs*  
  
Rei: *cough*...heeelp...*drags herself out the door*  
  
Shishi: *runs*  
  
Kia and Jin: *huddle under table*  
  
Kelsey: ...wow. Are they all gone?  
  
Kia: You tell me. x.x  
  
House: ...I don't see any...just you guys.  
  
Kia: That's good....  
  
Kelsey: ...Kia? Jin? ...you guys can come out now. Unless you're...*cough*...busy?  
  
Kia and Jin: *turn red and glare at Kelsey*  
  
Kelsey: ...I take the fact that you're still under the table to mean that you are.  
  
Kia: *starts to rise and whacks her head on the table* OUCH! No, we're not!!  
  
Kelsey: Fine, then. *pats Shishi* ...you must be traumatized. o.O  
  
Shishi: I am. x.x  
  
Jin: *snorts, crawling out from under the table*  
  
Kelsey: Remind me why we let Rei in the house, Kia?  
  
Kia: Did we? I thought she just walked in.  
  
House: She came in through the bathroom window...  
  
Kia: ...I thought it was supposed to be locked.  
  
Kelsey: ...it's not my job.  
  
Kia: HOUSE...  
  
House: *meekly* ...yes?  
  
Kia:...It was supposed to be locked!!  
  
House: ...sorry?  
  
Kia:...  
  
Kelsey: This is all YOUR fault, House!  
  
House: ..*whimper*..  
  
Kia: Shame on you!  
  
House: Suzukiiiii...  
  
Suzuki: Eh?  
  
House: Heeeelp...  
  
Suzuki: No can do.  
  
Kelsey: *sigh*  
  
Kia: Well, at least I'm safe from marriage. And no more matchmaking Rei!  
  
Kelsey: Yup. ...but why don't you wanna get married? It's fun.  
  
Kia: You're kidding.  
  
Kelsey: *grin* Not at all!  
  
Kia: There's no way I'm getting married.  
  
Kelsey: Your loss, dude.  
  
Kia: I doubt it.  
  
Kelsey: *hugs Shishi* Trust me.  
  
Shishi: She won't believe you. You'd have better results if you gave her a love potion.  
  
Suzuki: Hey, I have those....and everything else....  
  
Kelsey: Really? *interested* I never knew THAT..  
  
House: Suzuki! *shocked*  
  
Suzuki: What?  
  
House: ...nevermind.  
  
Kelsey: *blink* What's wrong with getting married? I'm serious!  
  
Kia: *blinks* I just don't want to. It feels like I'd be trapped.  
  
Kelsey: It doesn't.  
  
Kia: Maybe not for you.  
  
House: I'm married!  
  
Kelsey: ...whaaa?  
  
Kia: o.o You ARE?  
  
House: ...yes.  
  
Kia: To who?  
  
House: The garage.  
  
Kelsey: ...dude....I'm glad I'm not married to a building.  
  
Kia: I'm glad I'm not married at all.  
  
Kelsey: Oh shut up, loveless one.  
  
Kia: ...You shut up. *sticks out tongue*  
  
Suzuki: I'll go find that potion...  
  
Kelsey: Nyah! *sticks out tongue* Love is on my side!  
  
Kia: You can have it!  
  
Kelsey: I already do! I'm trying to share!  
  
Kia: Really, now.  
  
Kelsey: *sticks out tongue* Yes. Since you obviously love Jin, I thought I was helping!  
  
Kia: I...I WHAT?!  
  
Jin: She WHAAAT?  
  
Kelsey: Ah, the joy. *grins* 


	7. All Your Pie

Voice in Kelsey's head: We shall....conquer England!  
  
Kelsey: ...we shall! *hops on Nasei* TO ENGLAND!  
  
Nasei: *giving Kelsey odd look*  
  
Kelsey: *pokes* C'mon..  
  
Nasei: *blinks*  
  
Kelsey: ...c'monnn...*nudges* To England!  
  
Nasei: *snorts*  
  
Kia:...What are you doing?  
  
Kelsey: ...I'm going to England! *pokes Nasei* Hi-ho silver, away!  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* Y'know, I think he's too dignified for you to treat him like a horse...  
  
Nasei: *nods*  
  
Kelsey: ...awaaaaaay...  
  
Nasei: *growls slightly*  
  
Kelsey: ...away. Please.  
  
Nasei: *spreads his wings and flies up*  
  
Kia: Have fun!  
  
Kelsey: Yaaaaah! We shall rule England!  
  
Kia: *turns to Meikyou, shrugging*  
  
Kelsey: Kia, c'mon! We can do an "all your pie" retake!  
  
Kia: o.o HOW?  
  
Kelsey: *jumps off Nasei* I'll show you!  
  
Kia: Okay...  
  
Kelsey: *lands* ...ooof. Okay. We need someone to be the pie...Hiei! Hieiii...  
  
Hiei: WHAT?  
  
Kelsey: *holds up Pie costume*  
  
Kelsey: ...someone needs to be Ark. ...hm. Kia?  
  
Kia: Me?  
  
Kelsey: Yes! ^^ You're the star, Kia!  
  
Kia: Oh, goody...  
  
Rei: *jumps Kelsey* I wanna be in it!  
  
Kelsey: *falls* ...uh...you can be Kerrigan.  
  
Rei: Yay! *jumps around*  
  
Kelsey: ...you're still not in your Pie costume, Hiei...  
  
Hiei: I'm not wearing it.  
  
Kelsey: But how can Kia eat you if you're not Pie?  
  
Hiei: I don't WANT her eating me!!  
  
Rei: It's just pretend, midget! *hugs Hiei*  
  
Hiei: Touch me again and you'll be missing an arm.   
  
Kelsey: ...I'll tell her to put you down if you'll be Pie.  
  
Hiei: ...  
  
Rei: *huggles*  
  
Kelsey: Please?  
  
Hiei: Make someone else be the damn Pie.  
  
Kelsey: ...who? You're...Pie-sized.  
  
Hiei: I AM NOT!  
  
Kelsey: ...you're the closest to it of anyone.  
  
Hiei: *glares*  
  
Rei: *blink* Who's Kerrigan?   
  
Kelsey: She's Ark's girlfriend.  
  
Rei: *drops Hiei to huggle Kia* ARK!  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* eh?  
  
Kelsey: -.-;; Okay...Hiei, you can be the Star Wars Monkey. Shishi, YOU can be the Pie.  
  
Rei: *hugs Kia* ARK!  
  
Shishi: I don't want Kia to eat me!!  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* What about you, Kelsey?  
  
Kelsey: I'm the director. *poses*  
  
Kia: x.x How convenient.  
  
Rei: *puts Kia down* So...*runs off* NAKED TIME!  
  
Kia: O.O  
  
Kelsey: ...x.x  
  
Kia: Oh, God, no...  
  
Kelsey: ...uh..*cough*...does ANYONE want to be the Pie?  
  
Jin, Kurama, and Yusuke: *inch away*  
  
Rinku: Me!  
  
Kelsey: *looks down at Rinku* ...okay! *holds out Pie costume*  
  
Rinku: ^^ Yay! *hugs Kelsey and scurries off to change*  
  
Kelsey: NODON'TGOTHATWAY!  
  
Rei: NAKED TIME!  
  
Rinku: *stops*  
  
Kelsey: ...you can..change over there. *points in opposite direction of Rei*  
  
Rinku: *scurries off*  
  
Kia: Does Rei have to be the girlfriend? Can't she be the duck?  
  
Kelsey: I don't think Hiei wants Rei as a father.  
  
Kia: I don't want her as a girlfriend. I don't swing that way.  
  
Hiei: ...I don't even want to be in this.  
  
Kelsey: You'll be great. *pats Hiei* Okay..uh..Shishi, you can be the duck. Jin, you can be...um...the reporter.  
  
Kia: Can I be dead?  
  
Rei: *runs past*  
  
Kia: NOW?!  
  
Kelsey: x.x..no. We need an Ark.  
  
Kia: You can do it!  
  
Kelsey: ...but I'm the Director!  
  
Kia: You can be both!  
  
Rei: *runs other way*  
  
Kia: I don't think I'll survive this...x.x  
  
Kelsey: ...I'm the Director!  
  
Kia: I'm gonna dieeeee...  
  
Kelsey: No! *grabs Kia's shoulder* Stay alive!  
  
Rei: *returns* Okay, I'm done!  
  
Kia: x.x  
  
Kelsey: Good. Now, in the first scene, Ark and Kerrigan are eating breakfast...  
  
Kia: ...I demand revenge...  
  
Kelsey: Please. ACTION! *claps hands*  
  
Rei: *sits down at table* I miss naked time.  
  
Kia: Enough with that, please. *sits down as well*  
  
Kelsey: ..no. No naked time.  
  
Phone: *rings*  
  
Kia: *longing glance at the phone*  
  
Kelsey: ..Rei, get the phone.  
  
Rei: I'm ACTING!  
  
Kelsey: It's part of the acting...now, as you leave, place the Pie on the table and instruct Ark not to eat it.  
  
Rei: *picks up Rinku and places him on the table* Don't eat the Pie, Kia--I mean Ark! Don't eat it! *goes offstage*  
  
Rinku: *trying to act all pie-ish*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops*  
  
Kelsey: Now, Kia...you must resist temptation!  
  
Kia: *another sweatdrop* Ha! I have no need of pie...when I have my...cereal!  
  
Kelsey: EXCELLENT! Now...hand!  
  
Kia: What?  
  
Kelsey: Just keep going. Action!  
  
Kia: *faces other way while hand slowly lifts toward pie* ARGH! NO! Bad hand! *grabs hand and sends cereal flying*  
  
Kelsey: Cue monkey!  
  
Hiei: *murderous glare*  
  
Kelsey: ...sorry. Cue thought bubble!  
  
Kia: Okay...think of something else...  
  
Kelsey: ...thought bubble?  
  
:  
  
Thought bubble: *appears*  
  
Kelsey: Thank you. Cue monkey!  
  
Hiei: *murderous glare*  
  
Kelsey: ...uh...cue Hiei!  
  
Hiei: *appears*  
  
Kelsey: Bravo! Continue  
  
Kia: Monkey...nah...too boring...Star Wars Monkey!!  
  
Kelsey: ...cue Star Wars Hiei!  
  
Hiei: *now wielding a light saber*...Hn.  
  
Kelsey: Cue Duck!  
  
Shishi: *appears*  
  
Kelsey: Epic fight scene! *hops*  
  
Shishi and Hiei: *smack each other with their light sabers*  
  
Kelsey: Woot! *dances*  
  
Kia: *cringes*  
  
Kelsey: Continue  
  
Shishi and Hiei: *now getting into it*  
  
Kelsey: ...continue, please.  
  
Shishi and Hiei: *still at it*  
  
Kelsey: *jumps onstage* CONTINUE!  
  
Shishi: *coughs* Blah blah...Obi-wan!  
  
Hiei: *blinks*  
  
Kelsey: *sits down*  
  
Shishi: Luke...I am your father!  
  
Kelsey: *gasp*  
  
Hiei: Who the hell is Luke?  
  
Kia: YOU, baka!  
  
Hiei: Who are you calling a baka, ARK?  
  
Kia: YOU, DUMBASS!  
  
Kelsey: As much as I love watching violence...we need to continue. Action!  
  
Hiei: You're a liar!  
  
:  
  
Shishi: Search your feelings...you KNOW it's true!  
  
Hiei: Hell no!  
  
Kelsey: Exit thought bubble. Good work!  
  
Thought Bubble: *leaves*  
  
Kelsey: And then...  
  
Kelsey: Resist temptation, Ark!  
  
Kia: x.x Fighting...temptation....  
  
Kelsey: Cue Jaws music!  
  
Jaws music: *plays*  
  
Kelsey: GO, KIA!  
  
Kia: *sneaking up on Rinku pie*  
  
Rinku: *sweatdrops*  
  
Jaws music: *gets louder*  
  
Kia: Heh heh heh...  
  
Rei: *offstage* DON'T TOUCH THE PIE!  
  
Kia: *falls over* I wasn't!!  
  
Rei: Good.  
  
Kelsey: Cue radio!  
  
Kia: *turns on radio, listening to Simple and Clean*  
  
Kelsey: *dances*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops*  
  
Kelsey: Cue reporter Jin!  
  
Jin: We interrupt this song for a heart-breaking announcement! The pie factory has exploded, killing thousands of workers...but it's raining pie, so it's all good.  
  
Kelsey: Cue mayor Kurama!  
  
Kurama: o.o I'm the mayor?  
  
Kelsey: ...yes, and I'm cueing you.  
  
Kurama: Whoops. *sounds of munching* I...I...proclaim today...PIE DAY!  
  
Kelsey: HOORAY!  
  
Kia, Rinku, Jin, and Kurama: *all sweatdrop*  
  
Kelsey: Resist, Kia! Resist the Pie!  
  
Kia: It's just a coincidence...must...ignore...Pie...  
  
Kelsey: Cue creepy music!  
  
Creepy music: *plays*  
  
Kelsey: Cue echoes!  
  
Kia: o.o  
  
Rei Echo: DON'T EAT THE PIE!  
  
Kia echo: Self-control!  
  
Kurama echo: *chewing*  
  
Rei echo: DON'T EAT THE PIE!  
  
Kia echo: SELF-CONTROL!  
  
Kurama echo: *chewing*  
  
Rei echo: NAKED TIME!  
  
Kelsey: RESIST, KIA! Get 'er, Rinku!  
  
Rinku: Greetings!  
  
Kia: ...What? Who...huh?  
  
Rinku: I am...the Pie.  
  
Kia:...No you're not.  
  
Rinku: Yes I am.  
  
Kia: This is crazy.  
  
Rinku: Kia...uh...ARK, I want you to do me a favor.  
  
Kia: *warily* What is it?  
  
Rinku: Eat me!  
  
Kia: Hell no!  
  
Kelsey: Now..insult her! Make her want to eat you!  
  
Rinku: But she's too nice to insult!  
  
Kia: Awww...  
  
Kelsey: No she's not! She's Ark. And you're the malevolent Pie bent on being eaten.  
  
Rinku: You're not...err...WOMAN enough to eat me! Mama's....girl!  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops*...What?  
  
Rinku: You heard me! WIMP!  
  
Kia: Say that again!  
  
Rinku: I would...but...your pea-brain is too cluttered to understand it.  
  
Kia: Okay, that's it. YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN!  
  
Rinku: Eat me!  
  
Kelsey: Yes! YES! YEEEES! *jumps up and down* GO FOR IT!  
  
Kia: *dives at Rinku*  
  
Rinku: AIIIIEEEEEE!!!  
  
Kelsey: *jumps* YES!  
  
*fades to black*  
  
Kelsey: *gives can of blueberry sauce to Kia* Here. *dumps another can over her head*  
  
Kia: *sputters* Ewww...  
  
Kelsey: *drags Rinku offstage, leaving puddle of sauce where he was* LIGHTS ON!  
  
*lights come on*  
  
Kelsey: Cue Kerrigan!  
  
Kia: *staring at sauce in disgust*  
  
Rei: *walks in* What the hell did you do, yo?  
  
Kia: I cannot tell a lie. I cut down the-err...I mean, I ate the pie.  
  
Rei: Explain yourself! *materializes whip*  
  
Kia: o.o *stares at whip* I...ah...umm...  
  
Rei: *flicks whip* And it had better be good! You ate my pie, and I'm pissed, yo!  
  
Kia: Good the hell for you!  
  
Kelsey: *cough* Mentos, dude!  
  
Kia: I need the theme!  
  
Kelsey: Cue Mentos Theme!  
  
Mentos Theme: *plays*  
  
Kia: *eats mentos*  
  
Rei: *poses*  
  
Kia: *poses*  
  
Kelsey: *jumps onstage* I MADE THIS!  
  
*fades to black*  
  
((A/N: "All Your Pie" is © LegendaryFrog at www.newgrounds.com)) 


	8. Bothering Snape

Kelsey: ...*cough* Kia?  
  
Kia: *blinks*  
  
Kelsey: *points* Rei's here.  
  
Rei: I wanna audition! *tackles Kia*  
  
Kia: *falls*  
  
Kelsey: I never thought "Bothering Snape" would be so popular...x.x;;  
  
Kia: Get her off me...x.x  
  
Kelsey: ...*drags Rei off Kia*...what part do you want?  
  
Rei: ...I'm here to audition.  
  
Kelsey: Yes. I know.  
  
Rei: Can I audition now?  
  
Kelsey: ...sure. What part are you auditioning for?  
  
Kia: ...  
  
Rei: I'm just here to audition. They don't tell us things like that.  
  
Kelsey: ...how about I just make you Dumbledore?  
  
Rei: Sure! *runs off to practice*  
  
Kia: o.o NO!  
  
Kelsey: ..no?...oh, I see. YOU wanted the part of Dumbledore, Kia?  
  
Kia: No, I didn't! But that means she's doing the naked dance!  
  
Kelsey: Do you want Jin to do the naked dance?  
  
Kia: x.x  
  
Kelsey: Or Shishi?  
  
Kaeru Soyokaze. I rule Pugs. says:  
  
Kia: O.O  
  
Kelsey: ...actually, I wouldn't mind...-.-;; But the point is, you would rather have Rei do the naked dance than me, or anyone else, right?  
  
Kia: x.x I'd rather have no one do it...  
  
Kelsey: Hey, I didn't write the script.  
  
Kia: True.  
  
Kelsey: Have we got a Snape?  
  
Kia: Don't think so...  
  
Kelsey: ...how about Hiei?  
  
Hiei: *glares*  
  
Kelsey: You fit the part...  
  
Hiei: *glares again*  
  
Kelsey: Fuck off, grumpy man. I'm trying to be nice, here!  
  
Rei: *from distance* NAKED TIME!  
  
Kia: *horrified*  
  
Kelsey: *sigh*  
  
Kia: I don't have to be in this one, do I?  
  
Kelsey: ...Shishi, will you be Snape, then?  
  
Rei: *closer* NAKED TIME!  
  
Kelsey: ...no, I don't think you do.  
  
Shishi: ...Let Hiei do it.  
  
Kelsey: He doesn't want to, and I'm sick of dealing with him.  
  
Kia: He'll do it,  
  
Kelsey: Okay...do we have a Harry or Ron?  
  
Kia: Hmm..  
  
Kelsey: How about Chuu?  
  
Kia: Chuu?  
  
Kelsey: Yeah.  
  
Chuu: Nah...  
  
Kelsey: Must everyone contradict me? WHO, then?  
  
Kia: *shrugs* You could be in this one?  
  
Kelsey: ...o.o;;...who's gonna run things?  
  
Kia: Me? *shrugs*  
  
Kelsey: ..er...okay. *gives immense burden of directing to Kia* have fun!  
  
Kia: I will!  
  
Kelsey: I need my coffee.  
  
Kia: Get some.  
  
Kelsey: x.x No...who am I, anyway?  
  
Kia: Well...you could be Harry.  
  
Rei: *very close* NAKED TIME!  
  
Kelsey: *cowers* Hide me...  
  
Kia: x.x Now you know how I feel.  
  
Kelsey: It's your show now, dude. Deal with her! *hides*  
  
Kia: Rei, Naked Time is later. Then you can do the dance.  
  
Rei: *stops* ...uh..okay  
  
Kia: Okay, we need a Ron.  
  
Rei: *looks around*....just tell me when it's Naked Time, okay?  
  
Kelsey: Is it safe? *shivers*  
  
Kia: It's safe...will do, Rei.  
  
Kelsey: *crawls out*  
  
Rei: Who's Ron?  
  
Kelsey: ...Jin?  
  
Jin: Eh?  
  
Kelsey: Kia wants to know if you'll be Ron.  
  
Jin: Sure, why not...  
  
Kelsey: All right, there ya go.  
  
Kia: That's everyone, then. You guys ready?  
  
Kelsey: Don't make me say it..  
  
Kia: ^^;; Okay, cue Harry and Ron! Aaaand...action!  
  
Kelsey: *walks in* I'm Harry Potter, and my nose is missing!  
  
Jin: And I'm 'is friend, Ron, and I have red hair!  
  
Kelsey: We're going to mercilessly attack Snape!  
  
Jin: Whoo!  
  
Kelsey: Let's go! *hops over to Snape/Hiei*  
  
Hiei: *glaring* I'm Snape, the Potions Master and I hate all of you.  
  
Kelsey: *pokes* ... *pokes*  
  
Jin: Wheeeee! *pokes as well*  
  
Kelsey: *pokes* I'm attacking you! *knocks Hiei over from poking*  
  
Hiei: Stop it! *falls*  
  
Kelsey: *pokepokepoke* Hehehe!  
  
Hiei: Grrr...  
  
Kelsey: *pokes* We're killing you!  
  
Hiei: Stop it, you brats!  
  
Jin: WHEEEE!  
  
Kelsey: *pokepokepokepoke* YAY!  
  
Hiei: *whips out wand* Avada Kedavra!  
  
Kelsey: *dies*  
  
Jin: *dies*  
  
Hiei: Ah, blessed silence...  
  
Kia: Cue Dumbledore!  
  
Rei: *backstage*  
  
Kia: *nudges Rei* You're on!  
  
Rei: NAKED TIME!  
  
Kia: Not yet.  
  
Rei: *runs onstage*  
  
Hiei: *blinks*  
  
Rei: Hey, look, sleeping people! Let's steal from them. *rummages in pockets of Kelsey and Jin*  
  
Jin: Hey, that's MY dungbomb-oh, wait. *dies again*  
  
Hiei: *sidles away*  
  
Rei: Oooh...shiny coins and a smelly thing! *throws dungbomb into audience*...where did Midget go?  
  
Audience: EEEEK!  
  
Rei: And...where the hell am I?! *looks around*..*disappears behind table*...*comes out naked* NAKED TIME! *dances*  
  
Kia: *covers eyes*  
  
Rei: *jumps around* NAKED TIME, Saiai! *grabs Suzuki*  
  
Suzuki: o.o   
  
Rei: *hugs* C'mon! *dances* Iiiiit's NAKED TIIIME!  
  
Suzuki: Save meeee...  
  
Rei: *drags Suzuki onstage* NAKED TIME, people!  
  
Suzuki: HEEEELP!  
  
Kelsey: Hehehe...*falls off stage*  
  
Jin: Can I stop being dead now?  
  
Kelsey: *hits floor* hehehe...yees.  
  
Jin: Whoo!  
  
Rei: *tackles Suzuki* NAKED TIME!  
  
Suzuki: *falls*  
  
Rei: *hugs* Yaaaay! NAKED!  
  
Kelsey: I'm glad I can't see what's going on up there.  
  
Suzuki: But you love Jin...x.x  
  
Rei: He was mean to me, and then Kelsey told me that he was in love with Kia. *snuggles* Naked time!  
  
Kia: You WHAT??  
  
Kelsey: Duh.  
  
Kia: Kelsey!!  
  
Kelsey: Yes?  
  
Kia: Stop saying that!  
  
Rei: *sits on Suzuki* Take part in Naked Time, everyone! You shouldn't have a problem with it, Kurama. ~.^  
  
Kelsey: ...saying what?!  
  
Kia: Oy vay.  
  
Kurama: *runs*  
  
((A/N: "Bothering Snape" is © Neil…something (x.x) at www.newgrounds.com)) 


	9. Kerri's Big Invention

Once again, all this stuff belongs to LegendaryFrog (Josheph Blanchette) on Newgrounds.com…This is all a figment of our twisted imaginations. Now, I know it's supposed to be Senya instead of Seyna, but we wanted it to be Seyna. ^^ Enjoy. Or else.  
  
------------  
  
Kelsey: *bounces* I can bounce! Watch me bounce! Here I go! *bounces* Kekekekeke!  
  
Kia: ...*sweatdrop* Uh...  
  
Rei: ...spotlight stealer. *sticks out tongue*  
  
Kurama: Now, girls...  
  
Rei: SHE WILL DIE! *lunges*  
  
Kelsey: Eeek! I'm bouncy! *bounces away*  
  
Kia and Kurama: o.o;;  
  
Hiei: Hn. Every day...  
  
Rei: DIEEEE! *pursues*  
  
Kelsey: Kekekekekekeke! *bounces*  
  
Pint: If we could all stop, just for a moment...?  
  
Rei: *freezes*  
  
Kelsey: Eh?  
  
Kia: *stares at Pint* ...Oh, not again...  
  
Pint: That's better! Now, as we all know, LegendaryFrog has come out with another video! And it goes without saying that we have been cast to perform it!  
  
Kia...Oh, nooooo....No! I am NOT doing that again!  
  
Rei: ...more naked time?  
  
Hiei: *already long gone*  
  
Kelsey: ...x.x...no.  
  
Pint: No, no nudity. This is...Kerri's Big Invention!  
  
Kelsey: Out.  
  
Pint: ...but...  
  
Kelsey: OUT! *whacks*  
  
Pint: Owwww...*bleeds*  
  
Kelsey: O.O PRECIOUS RUM! *licks carpet*  
  
Kurama: Pints bleed...?  
  
Kelsey: They bleed RUUUUUM...  
  
Rei: Lemme see that. *grabs script from pint*...oooh...ehehehe...kekeke...  
  
Kelsey: Hey, I say that.  
  
Rei: You're wasting rum.  
  
Kelsey: ACK! *goes back to licking the carpet*  
  
Kia: *looks at Kurama* Okay, just inch away sloooowly...  
  
Kelsey: *with rum finished* Kia, you wanna be Seyna? She's cute, and British!  
  
Kia: Just so long as I don't have to be Ark, I'm fine with it...  
  
Rei: ...Kurama, you direct. *shoves Kurama in Director's Chair*  
  
Kelsey: Hey, that was the lead role!  
  
Kurama: ^^;; Alright...  
  
Kelsey: I think Hiei should be the little people in the TV.  
  
Hiei: *long gone*  
  
Kelsey: ...x.x...must I make him reappear?  
  
Kia: Good luck with that. -.-  
  
Rei: ...we need an Ark.  
  
Kelsey: I'll be Kerrigan this time. ^-^  
  
Kia: Why not Shishi for Ark?  
  
Shishiwakamaru: ...  
  
Kelsey: .......oooh.  
  
Shishiwakamaru: *dark glare at Kia*  
  
Kia: ^^  
  
Pint: *re-forms* I can be the little people in the TV!  
  
Rei: Says here Seyna has a boyfriend...Jiiiiin?  
  
Jin: *warily* Hai...?  
  
Rei: I found a perfect part for you!  
  
Jin: x.x No.  
  
Rei: But you haven't even looked at it! *shoves script at Jin*  
  
Kelsey: *trying to develop muffin obsession*...gah, I just can't do it. Muffin!...no, that wasn't right. MUFFIN! ...no, that wasn't it, either...  
  
Jin: *eyes script*  
  
Pint: Helloooo...brave little pint volunteering here!  
  
Kia: *tosses muffin to Kelsey*   
  
Kurama: Well, if you really want to, err...Pint...  
  
Kelsey: MUFFIN! *glomps muffin* I LOVE YOU!  
  
Pint: Aww...mommy! *hugs Kurama's ankle*  
  
Kelsey: ...*pause*...hey, I did it!  
  
Kia: *sweatdrop*...  
  
Kurama: ...*stares at Pint*   
  
Pint: ...what?  
  
Kia: ^^ See, all you needed was muffin inspiration!  
  
Rei: ^-^ I'm so proud.  
  
Kurama: I'm not your Mommy...  
  
Pint: ...but...  
  
Kelsey: Have we got everyone?  
  
Kia: I think so...ummm...  
  
Chuu: *tosses Hiei down, dressed in Yuna costume* Here he is!  
  
Rei: *calls up* Thank you, Techie Chuu!  
  
Kia: *catches Hiei* What the-  
  
Chuu: *salutes*  
  
Kelsey: He can be the teddy bear!  
  
Hiei: I'm. Going. To. Kill. You. All....  
  
Kelsey: Kekekekeke...*various hysterical laughter*  
  
Kia: I'm going to regret this, aren't I?  
  
Hiei: Put me down.  
  
Kia: *drops Hiei*  
  
Rei: Not a chance, both of you.  
  
Kelsey: We need an announcer!  
  
Everyone else available: *runs*  
  
Rei: *leaps on Suzuki* Pretty boy! You!  
  
Suzuki: *falls* x.x What?  
  
Rei: Announcer man! *glomps*  
  
Suzuki: Help meeee… x.x  
  
Pint: You're on your own...I think that's it! *posts cast list*  
  
Cast List:  
  
Kerrigan: Kelsey  
  
Ark: Shishiwakamaru  
  
Seyna: Kia  
  
Sal: Jin  
  
People in TV: Pint  
  
Teddy Bear: Hiei  
  
Announcer: Suzuki  
  
Kia: *sigh*  
  
Pint: Oops...*hands Kurama a pencil* Put your name on there, mommy.  
  
Kurama: -.- I'm not your Mommy.  
  
Pint: And Chuu's, while you're at it. He's a techie.  
  
Kurama: *writes down his name and Chuu's*  
  
Kelsey: All right!  
  
Rei: *psst* Kurama...do your directing thing.  
  
Kurama: Alright everyone...places!  
  
Rei: COFFEE BREAK!  
  
Everyone: *stampedes*  
  
Kelsey: ...read a book, people! *strikes pose*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops*  
  
Kelsey: *points at Kia*  
  
Rei: Someone give me money for the coffee fund! *sound of angry rioters*  
  
Kia: ...  
  
Kelsey: *pinches fingers together in front of her eyes* Kia, I'm squishing your head! ^^  
  
Kia: ...riiiiight.  
  
Kelsey: *hugs Shishi plushie*  
  
Rei: ...maybe if I look away, the rioters will disappear...*turns the other way*  
  
Kelsey: PLACES!  
  
Everyone: *scurries into places*  
  
Kelsey: ACTION!  
  
Kia: Wait...who's the monkey?  
  
Rei: Kurama's the director!  
  
Kelsey: Kurama...  
  
Kurama: Hm?  
  
Kelsey: ...aren't YOU the director?  
  
Kurama: Yes...but why not have Rei do it?  
  
Rei: I'm not a monkey!  
  
Kia: He means direct. -.-  
  
Rei: *grabs chair* MINE!  
  
Rei: Kurama, you can be all the other parts that aren't assigned.  
  
Kurama: ...I'm a monkey?  
  
Kelsey: ^^ *goes offstage* Shishi, get the hamsters!  
  
Rei: PLACES!  
  
Shishi: *gets the hamsters*  
  
Kia: And the Pikmin!  
  
Jin: *drags Kia offstage*  
  
Kelsey: *tosses Pikmin into aquarium*  
  
Rei: ENOUGH! ACTION!  
  
Shishi: *walks around* Feeding time! *picks up hamster; Hamtaro theme plays*  
  
Pint: *sloshes*  
  
Shishi: *dumps hamster into Pikmin tank* ...Is that amount of blood normal? *looks around*  
  
Rei: *presses doorbell*  
  
Shishi: It's open!  
  
Kia: *holding Hiei, dressed as a Teddy bear; opens the door*  
  
Shishi: o.o Oh, no, it's my worst nightmares coming to manifest themselves right at my-  
  
Kia: x.x Oh, shut up, Ark...  
  
Shishi: Oh...it's just you, Senya...what's with the bear?  
  
Rei: *dances offstage*  
  
Kelsey: .......*goes under the stage*  
  
Kia: ^^ Sal won it for me at the fair! And we got this little hat for Kerrigan and this finger trappy thing for you!  
  
Shishi: *stares at finger trap*  
  
Kia: ...Where's Kerrigan?  
  
Shishi: ...In the basement.  
  
Jin: ...Hey...I did that...got the thing off by the time I got up the driveway.  
  
Shishi: x.x Well, GOOD FOR YOU!  
  
Kia: *shakes her head and goes into the basement*  
  
Kelsey: *dancing in the basement* BOUNCE! I mean..er...out! OUT!  
  
Kia: *blinks* Kerrigan...what are you doing?  
  
Kelsey: I'm working on my top-secret weapon of doom! *puts box over top-secret weapon of doom* ....  
  
Kia: ...Oh, really...? What is it?  
  
Kelsey: ...It's...er...not done!  
  
Kia: Umm...should I...go? *hands Kelsey the hat*  
  
Kelsey: ....*puts on hat*...is this some kind of...hat?  
  
Kia: Why, yes, it is! I got it for you at the fair!  
  
Kelsey: Oooh! Did you see the giant wheel? I've always wanted to make a car out of those. ^^  
  
Kia: Yeah! It was great!!  
  
Kelsey: Oooh! *dances*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* Need any help?  
  
Kelsey: .......no!  
  
Kia: Okay...  
  
Rei: You digress!  
  
Kia: Anyway, I'll...be...upstairs...  
  
Kelsey: .......you do that...  
  
Kia: *walks upstairs and grabs Shishi by the throat* HOW LONG HAS SHE BEEN DOWN THERE?!  
  
Shishi: *choke* Just...for...I don't know...I don't even ask questions anymore...  
  
Kia: ...Riiiight.  
  
Shishi: Anyway, I send her food via this convenient hole in the floor! *nudges muffin down*  
  
Kelsey: MUFFIN! *sounds of frenzied devourment*  
  
Kia, Jin, and Ark: *sweatdrop*...  
  
Kia: ...Still have that thing on your finger, Blue-haired boy?  
  
Shishi: Oh, shut up! I...just...mmph...*tugs* It's like Satan reincarnated into a cardboard tube!!!  
  
Kelsey: It's FINISHED! All hail my glorified weapon of DOOOM!  
  
Kia: *blink* Eh...?  
  
Kelsey: FEAR ME! *storms into living room* AAAUGH! *stumbles back* SUNLIGHT! Get it off me!  
  
Kia: ...Kerri?  
  
Kelsey: ...yeeeees? .  
  
Kia: Are you okay?  
  
Kelsey: .... Sunliiiiiight...*inches away* Need...moldy darkness...  
  
Kia:...Your invention..?  
  
Kelsey: Oh, yes! ...*skirts around sunbeam into living room* All fear my weapon of DOOM! *reaches into trenchcoat*  
  
Kia, Jin, and Shishi: *all blink*  
  
Kelsey: STICK 'EMS! *brandishes stick 'ems at Ark*  
  
Shishi: ...What?  
  
Kelsey: Stick 'ems! *sticks a stick 'em on Ark* You can write stuff on 'em to remember, and then stick 'em on places! *puts another stick 'em on Ark*  
  
Kia: Uh...Kerri...  
  
Kelsey: . Yeeeeees?  
  
Kia: Those are Post-Its...  
  
Kelsey: It's not true! LIAR!  
  
Kia: I'm serious...  
  
Kelsey: Noooooo! ...*sulks into basement*  
  
Shishi: Harsh.  
  
Kia: One more word out of you, and I'm pulling the cookie sheet...  
  
Shishi: *glares* Bring it on!  
  
Kia: ...Your fingers.  
  
*the next day*  
  
Kia: *watching TV*  
  
Jin: STILL trying to get that off your fingers?  
  
Shishi: . Noo...already got it off...just...doing it...again...stupid finger trap...what finger trap...what...go away!  
  
Kia: x.x Shut up, I'm trying to watch the TV!  
  
Pint: Ooh! That's me! *jumps into TV* This is where Jacht attacked the blue elephant...and molested a squirrled...and wrote his name on a tree using urine...  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops*  
  
Pint: And then he molested the blue elephant...and called himself..the blue elephant shiek..man...I'm wasted. *passes out*  
  
Kia: ...Oh, great.  
  
Rei: *pokes Suzuki*  
  
Suzuki: Oops.  
  
Kia: x.x  
  
:  
  
Suzuki: Okaaaay...Kerrigan's big Invention is DONE! DONE! DONE DONITY DONE DONE DONE-  
  
Kia: SUZUKI!!  
  
Suzuki: *cough* And Sal's cookies are burning!  
  
Jin: Eep! *scurries*  
  
Kelsey: *bounces into living room* BEHOLD! *holds up atari joystick*  
  
Kia: *blinks* Behold...what?  
  
Kelsey: BEHOLD! *continues to hold up atari joystick*  
  
Kia: The...joystick?  
  
Shishi: *still struggling with finger trap*  
  
Kelsey: Not just any joystick...see the shiny stickers?  
  
Kia: Hard to miss. *sweatdrop*  
  
Kelsey: Don't start. These stickers have mystical powers...far more than any average joystick could ever hope to possess...I shall rule, oh yeees...  
  
Kia: Would you PLEASE tell me what the hell you're talking about?  
  
Shishi: It's obvious, isn't it?  
  
Kia: ...Okay, then, smart one, what is it?  
  
Shishi: It's a...a...a...thing to help me get this stupid tube off my fingers!  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* Really, now.  
  
Kelsey: ...no, it's a joystick! It's compensatable with every system ever created, except for X-box, which sucks.  
  
Kia: Really? And it works?  
  
Kelsey: Yes! I told you, these star stickers have unimagniable powers!  
  
Kia: Ooh...let's try it out!  
  
Kelsey: *switches on Gamecube* ...*hums Jaws theme*  
  
Kia and Shishi: *stare at TV*  
  
Pint: *stalks around*...  
  
Kelsey: *moves joystick*  
  
Pint: *stalks* ...AH! DIE! *bashes hero*  
  
Kia: o.o  
  
Kelsey: ._. ...*goes back to basement*  
  
Kia: *stares at Pint, then at dead hero*...What the hell.  
  
Jin: *sniffle* my cookies...  
  
Kia: Yo, Shi-uh...Ark, go talk to your girlfriend!  
  
Shishi: *walks to the door of the basement, then realizes his fingers are still trapped* ...Damn.  
  
Kelsey: My inventions are crap, monkey. Maybe I should just torch the house for insurance money.  
  
Suzuki: TORCH THE HOUSE AND DIE!  
  
Kelsey: I HEARD THAT! AND YOU PUT TOO MUCH GEL IN YOUR HAIR!  
  
Suzuki: WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE BEAUTIFUL SUZUKI??  
  
Kia: Yo. Suzuki. Shut up. x.x  
  
Kurama: *dressed as monkey* ooh. Ooh eeh ooohh...*monkey talk*  
  
Kelsey: ...that helped absolutely squat. But I'll cheer you up by pretending to love it. *huggles monkey*  
  
*Science Girl plays*  
  
Kia and Jin: *watch Shishi struggle with finger trap*  
  
Kelsey: *writes on chalkboard* Apples plus monkeys equals...ARRGH! *chalkboard bursts into flames*  
  
Kurama: *sweatdrops*  
  
*several hours and one very loud explosion later*  
  
Kelsey: It's dooone...*creeps out of basement and sets large machine on the table*  
  
Kia: So...what is it this time?  
  
Kelsey: This is called a Fantasy Machine. Stick the thing that looks suspiciously like a part of an electric chair on your head, and fantasize!  
  
Kia: Tell me it only LOOKS like the part of an electric chair, and doesn't act like it...  
  
Kelsey: Maybe...*sticks it on head* Let me example-ize...  
  
Screen: *dozens of rabid muffins fall from the sky* We're rabid! We're rabid! *song-and-dance number ensues*  
  
Kelsey: ^^;;  
  
Kia: Ooh...  
  
Kelsey: You try! *sticks helmet on Seyna's head*  
  
Screen: *Kia is fighting a giant sea monkey, until the pug comes along and eats it. Kia poses with Pug, and Mentos theme plays*  
  
Kia: Oh, wow...  
  
Kelsey: Aww...^^ *sticks it on Ark's head* Your turn!  
  
Screen: *Shishi is standing there while a cucumber comes running out* Peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly...*Shishi dances*  
  
Kelsey: o.o  
  
Kia: o.o  
  
Shishi: *defensively* What??  
  
Kia: Kerrigan, it's great! You'll be rich and famous and live in a big mansion with fifty-nine butlers, lots of kitties, rabid muffins, and seven types of dinner forks and spoons!  
  
Kelsey: Wow! *glomps* This is going to be great! And we can have big parties and invite all our dysfunctional friends! *dances*  
  
Kia: Whoo! *dances too*  
  
Shishi: YEEEES! I GOT THE FINGER TRAP OFF! I MUST GO DO VICTORY LAP! *runs off* *CRASH*  
  
Jin and Kia: O.O  
  
Kelsey: O.O *vision fades to black*  
  
Jin: Run, Ark! Use those scrawny little legs!  
  
Shishi: But...but...  
  
Kia: x.x He has a point. Run.  
  
Shishi: My legs are NOT scrawny! Uh...Kerrigan...are you okay?  
  
Kelsey: ...kill...  
  
Kia: Baka. RUN!  
  
Shishi: *runs*  
  
Kelsey: KILL! *lunges*  
  
Shishi: I'm sorrrryyyyyyyy!!  
  
Kelsey: *vision goes red*  
  
Kia and Jin: *shake their heads*  
  
Kelsey: *knocks Ark to the ground* DIE!!!  
  
Shishi: Noooooo!  
  
*a few minutes later*  
  
Kelsey: *eating muffin*  
  
Shishi: *covered in Post-It notes*...  
  
Kia: *trying not to laugh*  
  
Kelsey: *poses*  
  
Jin: *poses* Wait, the cookies!!  
  
Rei: PERFECT! *applauds*  
  
Kia: ^^;;  
  
Kelsey: Whew...hey...Shishi, that was a REAL fantasy machine that you destroyed!  
  
Shishi: o.o REALLY??  
  
Kelsey: I didn't make the things appear on the screen...oh, I am going to have so much fun with you...*evil laughter*  
  
Kia: x.x Run, Shishi. Use those little scrawny legs.  
  
Shishi: MY LEGS AREN'T SCRAWNY!  
  
Kelsey: *tackles Shishi*  
  
Shishi: *falls*  
  
Kia: *calmly eats a muffin* Baka. 


	10. Moldyvort's Return

Erm…this sequel-thingy…is also © to that Niel guy…thanks a bunch, Neil Guy! And Merry Christmas!  
  
-----------  
  
Rei: Butterflies...*dances past*  
  
:  
  
Hiei: *long gone*  
  
:  
  
Kelsey: *pokes Kia* Hi.  
  
Kia: x.x Is she done yet?  
  
Kelsey: Who?  
  
Kia: Rei.  
  
Pint: *nudges Kurama* Mommy, I got a new script! ^-^  
  
Kelsey: I'll check. *peers around corner*  
  
Kurama: I'm not your mommy...  
  
Rei: Hieicus explodicus! *brandishes Cinnamon at Hiei*  
  
Pint: ...well...I got you the script anyhow. ;_;  
  
Kelsey: Nope. x.x  
  
Hiei: *long gone*  
  
Kurama: Ah...thank you...  
  
Kia: x.x Damn. I'll be running now...  
  
Kelsey: *grabs Kia's arm* Oh no you don't...we're supposed to be a team.  
  
Pint: *hugs Kurama's ankle*  
  
Rei: *drags Hiei out of long-gone ness* Please hear me out.  
  
Kia: Okay...we BOTH run?  
  
Kurama: *sweatdrops*  
  
Hiei: *stares at Rei* ...  
  
Kelsey: . Let's see what the pint's brought this time before we try.  
  
Kia: ...  
  
Rei: That's better. ^-^ How about you play Snape again? Pint let me in on a sneak preview of the script.  
  
Pint: *staring adoringly up at Kurama*  
  
Hiei: ...No.  
  
Kurama: *looks pleadingly at Kia*  
  
Kia: *shrugs*  
  
Rei: Please?  
  
Pint: *sigh* ...fine. You're no mother of mine! *throws script at Kurama*  
  
Kelsey: ^^ I think I like that pint.  
  
Kurama: *sighs*  
  
Hiei: NO.  
  
Kelsey: What's it about, Kurama?  
  
Rei: Why?  
  
Pint: *sloshes away*  
  
Kurama: Voldemort...  
  
Hiei: Because I don't want to.  
  
Rei: I see...well, see ya. *walks away*  
  
Kelsey: o.o...what did you DO to her?!  
  
Pint: *tugs on Kelsey's leg* It was the butterflies.  
  
Kia: The...what?  
  
Pint: You know...the little winged insects?  
  
Kia: Since when can butterflies...do that?  
  
Kelsey: Since she read this stupid script. *points to bonus scene*  
  
Kia: Ah...  
  
Kelsey: *rubs hands together* Christmas spirit is in the air, folks! Let's get busy.  
  
Hiei: *inches away*  
  
Kelsey: *reading script* Well...ugh, I'm tired. x.x Who wants to do casting?  
  
Kia: *inches away also*  
  
Rei: *pokes Kia* Wheeee...  
  
Kurama: I'll do it, I suppose...  
  
Pint: Yay! Mommy! *dances around*  
  
Kurama: Okay...right off, does anyone want to BE in this?  
  
Kelsey: . *raises Kia's hand along with hers*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops*  
  
Rei: Oooh..shiny. *raises hand*  
  
Hiei: *long gone once more*  
  
Kelsey: *raises Shishi's and Jin's hands* You people have no initative.  
  
Jin: *blinks* I was NAPPING.  
  
Shishi: And I was...uh...  
  
Kia: x.x Save the excuses for later.  
  
Kelsey: SEE? Laziness!  
  
Pint: *sloshes* I wanna be in iiiiiit...  
  
Kurama: Okay, then...Kelsey, you can be Harry Potter, Jin can be Ron...*looks at Pint* Ah...you could be Voldemort or Snape...hmm...  
  
Kelsey: Hey, Kia volunteered too!  
  
Kurama: Ah, yes. Kia, you can be Hermione.  
  
Rei: SLASH! *swings Axe*  
  
Kia: x.x Nice...  
  
Kurama: And Rei can be...Dumbledore.  
  
Kelsey: o.o Oh no.  
  
Rei: NAKED!  
  
Pint: ...*pokes Kurama* Is that everyone, Mommy?  
  
Kurama: I believe so...did you have a preference? If not, you can be Voldemort.  
  
Kia: And we'll just kidnap Hiei. x.x  
  
Rei: Heeeey...Suzuki could be Snape...I think Hiei's too long-gone for my anti long-gone-ness powers to work.  
  
Kia: Suzuki's too nice to be Snape...  
  
Kelsey: It's not REAL, Kia...  
  
Kia: Oh, wait. Hey, SUZUKI!  
  
Suzuki: Hai?  
  
Kia: . Shishi broke your mirror.  
  
Suzuki: WHAT?!  
  
Kelsey: GET DOWN! *dives under couch*  
  
Shishi: ...o.o  
  
Kia, Jin, and Kurama: *hide under a table*  
  
Kia: That's evil enough...  
  
Rei: . It was the big one, too!  
  
Suzuki: WHAAAAAAAT??!!!!!  
  
Rei: Ehehehe...  
  
Kelsey: RUN, Shishi!  
  
Shishi: *runs*  
  
Kia: Use those scrawny little legs!!  
  
Suzuki: *chases, laughing maniacally*  
  
Rei: Kekekekekeeee! *runs after Suzuki*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops*  
  
Kelsey: Uh...okay...  
  
Shishi: *screaming for mercy*  
  
Kia: x.x Suzuki...  
  
Suzuki: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Rei: YAAAAH! *tackles Suzuki*  
  
Suzuki: *falls* x.x HEY!  
  
Kelsey: Woot!  
  
Rei: *evil laughter* Bwa!  
  
Kia: ...Okay...so maybe Hiei WOULD make a better Snape...  
  
Hiei: Hn...  
  
Kelsey: Uh...  
  
Kia: *stares at Suzuki*...  
  
Suzuki: Kill...kill...kill...  
  
Kelsey: I'd say he's perfect!  
  
Kia: But is he SAFE?  
  
Kelsey: Let's see. *comes out from under couch and walks over to Suzuki* Hello, Suzuki. You're looking beautiful today.  
  
Suzuki: Kill....  
  
Kelsey: How lovely! I see you and Rei are taking a nap on the floor.  
  
Rei: Wheeee.  
  
Kia: x.x  
  
Suzuki: KILLLLLLLL!!  
  
Kelsey: Um...*bends down*  
  
Kia: Are you sure this is wise...?  
  
Kelsey: I sure hope so. *nudges Suzuki*  
  
Suzuki: *growls*  
  
Rei: ^^ Cuuute. *huggles*  
  
Kelsey: o.o Hey there. How about you get up now?  
  
Suzuki: ...*glares at Kelsey*  
  
Kelsey: Cranky. . Just get up...nice and slow.  
  
Kia: Wait...I have an idea.  
  
Suzuki: *lunges at Kelsey, despite Rei's restraint*  
  
Kelsey: Aiyah! *falls back*  
  
Rei: *being dragged by Suzuki*  
  
Kia: *runs up* Suzuki, wait!  
  
Suzuki: *growls*  
  
Kelsey: Bad Suzuki! *glares from floor*  
  
Rei: *dangling from Suzuki's waist*  
  
Kia: *hands mirror to Suzuki*  
  
Suzuki: *stares at reflection* Graah?  
  
Kia: Even more so.  
  
Suzuki: Oooh...  
  
Rei: ...what?  
  
Kelsey: *stands up*  
  
Pint: *hops up*  
  
Kelsey: *glares*  
  
Pint: *hops away*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops*  
  
Suzuki: *blinks* What am I doing in here?  
  
Rei: Awww. *hugs more*  
  
Kelsey: Well, I still think he could do a good Snape.  
  
Rei: I don't want him doing ANY Snapes. x.x  
  
Kia: Why not?  
  
Kelsey: Oh, ick...  
  
Rei: *glares at Kia*  
  
Kelsey: *cough* ANYHOW!  
  
Kia: *blinks* Nani...?  
  
Pint: Let's start this before Rei has an ulcer.  
  
Kurama: Let's do this, then. Hiei?  
  
Hiei: Hn. x.x  
  
Kelsey: Right! *hops behind brick ledge*  
  
Kia: C'mon, Snape. *drags Hiei behind the ledge*  
  
Jin and Shishi: *follow*  
  
Kelsey: ...why are you here, Shishi?  
  
Kurama: Wait...if the Pint's Voldemort, then...Shishi, why ARE you here?  
  
Shishi: I need to be close to my love!  
  
Kia: x.x Oh, dear God...  
  
Kelsey: Awwww!  
  
Jin and Kia: *exchange glances, then shake their heads*  
  
Rei: Awwww! *cuddles Shishi*  
  
Kelsey: x.O No touch Shishi.  
  
Pint: *cough*  
  
Shishi: *hugs Kelsey*  
  
Kelsey: Oh! *jumps out from behind ledge* Hogwarts is the spiffiest spiff-ness-est place on Middle Earth!  
  
Kia: *mouthing* "Middle Earth??"  
  
Jin: Yes! I love Hogwarts!  
  
Kia: *cough* Me too...but not the Orcs. Stupid Orcs...  
  
Kelsey: I love magic! Wheeeeee! *twirls*  
  
Kia: I love the hobbits! I mean...uh...books!  
  
Jin: And I love you, Hermy!  
  
Kia: o.o  
  
Kurama: Rei, your cue...  
  
Rei: *bounces in* I am sorry to say that the evil pint Moldyvort has turned Hogwarts into a harem! Nudity and drinking abound!  
  
Crowd of Unruly Males: WHOO!  
  
Kia: ...Moldyvort?  
  
Rei: Moldy Warts?  
  
Jin: Weird name, but...nooooo!  
  
Kelsey: Keep trying...  
  
Kurama: x.x Voldemort.  
  
Kia: ...Moldy...  
  
Rei: That's what I said! Voles are short!  
  
Kia and Jin: ...  
  
Kelsey: *thunk*  
  
Rei: Uh..anyhow...I'm gonna get naked and leave you three in the clutches of Sir Hole-in-Fort. Bye! *dances off*  
  
Kia: Hole-in...-.- Never mind.  
  
Kelsey: Oh no! A magical hobbity harem! We must flee!  
  
Kia: Flee WHERE?   
  
Jin: EEEEEEEE!! *runs screaming*  
  
Kelsey: . Over here! *drags Kia offstage*  
  
Pint: *on other end of stage* Bwaha...Hogwarts is mine!  
  
Hiei: I am Snape, the Potions Master. -.- I shall kill you, baka. Avada Kedavra. *nothing happens* ...Shit.  
  
Pint: BWAHAHAHAHA! Avada Kedavra! *kills Hiei*  
  
Hiei: ...Shit.  
  
Kurama: Hiei, dead people don't talk.  
  
Hiei: Hn.  
  
Pint: *crazy laughing*  
  
Kelsey: Oh no! What should we do? *gasp*  
  
Jin: *runs over to Pint, screaming*  
  
Pint: .  
  
Kia: Well, definitely not that...  
  
Jin: Bother! *bothers Pint and runs off*  
  
Pint: Grrrr...  
  
Kelsey: Brilliant! Now he knows where we are! How do we rip his ass?  
  
Jin: I have a plan! *freaky echo*  
  
Kelsey: o.o Whoa. How'd you do that?  
  
Pint: *creeps across the stage* Oh harem-members...where are you....?  
  
Kia: *winces*  
  
Kelsey: We're over here, O almighty harem-lord!  
  
Jin: I don't know..cool, though...  
  
Kia: ...  
  
Pint: Okay, here I come...  
  
Jin: No, scoot to the right a bit...  
  
Pint: Oh...like this? *scoots to the right*  
  
Kelsey: That's perfect, O almighty harem-lord!  
  
Kia: Put your hands on your hips and bring your knees in-  
  
Jin: That's the Time Warp. x.x  
  
Kelsey: GET HIM! *leaps out, wielding a DDR platform*  
  
Kia: Wheeee! *jumps Pint, wielding a cookie sheet*  
  
Jin: *shrugs and grabs a wooden spoon*  
  
Pint: Arrrrrgh...*death gurgle*  
  
Kelsey: Hurrah! o.o You spilled him!...ruuuuuum...precious RUM! *licks stage*  
  
Kia: Kelsey, that's unsanitary...-.-  
  
Kelsey: Nu-uh, it's RUM!  
  
Kia: x.x  
  
:  
  
Hiei: *walks up* Hn.  
  
Kelsey: SNAPE! We love you! Hug! *huggles*  
  
Hiei: Baka...touch me again and die.  
  
Kelsey: *still huggling* Join in, everyone!  
  
Kia: *very cautiously hugs Hiei*  
  
Jin: *still skeptical*  
  
Rei: *wanders in, naked* Ah...I love this harem. *hugs*  
  
Kia: ...Heellllp....  
  
Rei: ^^  
  
Kurama: Cut! Okay, that's a roll!  
  
Kia: Roll or wrap?  
  
Kelsey: I want a roll!  
  
Rei: ROLLS! *dive-bombs Suzuki*  
  
Kurama: Whatever...  
  
Suzuki: *drops Mirror. It shatters.*  
  
Kia and Jin: O.O  
  
Rei: ;_; *hugs*  
  
Kelsey: Uh...follow the damned butterflies!  
  
Suzuki: Nooooooo...  
  
Kia: I don't see any butterflies...  
  
Rei: *hugs* It's okay.  
  
Kelsey: Oh, you will soon...*inches away*  
  
Kia: ...What's THAT supposed to mean??  
  
Suzuki: *bursts into tears*  
  
Kelsey: If only you knew..  
  
Rei: *pats* It's okay.  
  
Kia: x.x Kelsey...  
  
Kelsey: Yes?  
  
Kia: What the hell are you talking about?  
  
Kelsey: The butterflies.  
  
Kia: What ABOUT the butterflies?  
  
Kelsey: You'll see...  
  
Kia: Riiight...  
  
Kelsey: ...*shudders* Butterflies...  
  
Kia: o.o;; Uh...Kelsey...?  
  
Kelsey: Butterfliiies....  
  
Kia: *inches away*  
  
Kelsey: *hugs knees* Butterflies, Kia...  
  
Kia: Find a happy place...  
  
Kelsey: Happy place...happy place...*twitch*  
  
Shishi: *hugs Kelsey*  
  
Pint: ...rum, anyone?  
  
Kia: Like we need drunks...  
  
Rei: What's wrong with drunks?  
  
Kia: Depends on the type.  
  
Kelsey: Butterflies....  
  
Rei: What kinds?  
  
Kia: Butterflies or drunks? o.o  
  
Rei: Um...?  
  
Kelsey: The evil kind....*twitch*  
  
Kia: o.o  
  
Rei: Evil drunks?  
  
Kia: Evil drunks are scary...  
  
Kelsey: Gaaah...  
  
Rei: I can be an evil drunk.  
  
Pint: x.x Just put some clothes on first.  
  
Kia: Please don't...and listen to the Pint...  
  
Jin: Did I just hear you right? *looks at Kia*  
  
Rei: They'd just come off again, so what's the point?  
  
Pint: Wow.  
  
Kia: x.x Don't read into it...  
  
Pint: Mommy! *hugs Kia*  
  
Kia: O.O  
  
Kelsey: Butterflies.......*glares*  
  
Rei: Aw, Kia....congratulations! It's a Pint!  
  
Kia: But...I...but...what??  
  
Rei: Baby shower!  
  
Pint: Goo!  
  
Kia: I'm not a mommy!!  
  
Kelsey: Butterflies...*blinks at Kia*  
  
Pint: Mommy! *leaps into Kia's arms*  
  
Kia: Heeeelp me!!!  
  
Jin: *trying not to laugh*  
  
Kelsey: Happy place...happy place...  
  
Rei: Awww! Look how much he loves you! I never knew that you and Jin could make a Pint...always thought it'd be a hanyou, y'know...  
  
Pint: *looks at Jin* Daddy?  
  
Jin: ...*stares*  
  
Rei: Go on, hug your papa!  
  
Kia: I...we're not...I'm not..  
  
Pint: Daddy! *leaps at Jin* I wuv you!  
  
Kia: x.x Kill me now.  
  
Jin: *still staring* ...  
  
Kelsey: . Kill...  
  
Pint: *snuggles Jin* Daddy.  
  
Jin: I'm not your daddy...  
  
Kia: Kelsey...?  
  
Kelsey: Kill.  
  
Rei: Aww...he knows your name, Jinny boy!  
  
Jin: ...  
  
Pint: I always wanted a daddy.  
  
Kia: Kill what??  
  
Kelsey: Butterflies...*raises sword* Kill them all...  
  
Rei: Oooh...she's gotten to the killing part already!  
  
Kia: o.o;; WHAT butterflies?  
  
Kelsey: Butterflies...everywhere...*stands up* Kill...  
  
Rei: *claps* I love this part.  
  
Kia: Rei...you're scaring me.   
  
Rei: Why? Sit down, enjoy it. You'll love the ending.  
  
Kia: ...Are you sure?  
  
Rei: Oh yeeeees....  
  
Kia: *sits down reluctantly*  
  
Rei: *small evil laugh*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrop*  
  
Kelsey: YAAH! *lunges for Jin* Kill!  
  
Jin: o.o *runs*  
  
Kelsey: THERE IS NO ESCAPE! *chases*  
  
Rei: Audience interaction! Isn't is great?  
  
Kia: But...Jin's not a butterfly...  
  
Jin: HEEEELLLPPPPPP!!  
  
Rei: Of course he is.  
  
Kelsey: Butterflies...yah! *swings sword through the air* KIIIIIIIIL! *runs through kitchen*  
  
Kia: ...  
  
Rei: Don't worry, she's enjoying herself.  
  
Pint: Mommy, this is scary! *burrows in Kia's shirt*  
  
Kia: She's not going to kill him, is she? *stares at Pint*  
  
Rei: Possibly.  
  
Kelsey: KILL! *loud crash from kitchen*  
  
Kia: o.o  
  
Suzuki: MY KITCHEN!  
  
Rei: Scratch that...most definitely, yes.  
  
Kelsey: Gaah..butterflies...kiiiiilll...*swings sword at Suzuki*  
  
Suzuki: *tackles Kelsey* My kitchen!!!!  
  
Kelsey: *shrieks* BUTTERFLY!  
  
Rei: Goodie! *claps*  
  
Kia: ...  
  
Pint: *hides face in Kia's shirt*  
  
Kia: *lifts Pint up* I'n not your mommy.  
  
Pint: Goo!  
  
Kia: x.x  
  
Kelsey: Arrrgh...*whacks Suzuki with a shoe*  
  
Suzuki: HOW DARE YOU TARNISH MY BEAUTY!  
  
:  
  
Kelsey: KILL! *kicks Suzuki*  
  
Suzuki: *slaps Kelsey*  
  
Kia: ...Shouldn't we...help?  
  
Kelsey: Get off me, you perverted butterfly! *whacks with sword*  
  
Rei: Nah. It gets really good.  
  
Suzuki: Get out of my kitchen!!  
  
Kelsey: Maksaka! KILLLLLLL...  
  
Kia: x.x Kelsey...  
  
Kelsey: Butterflies.  
  
Kia: Suzuki is not a butterfly.  
  
Kelsey: Kiiiil...  
  
Kurama: Cut! ^^ Good work, people. 


	11. Rule of the Gummies

Kelsey: *pokes Suzuki*  
  
Suzuki: -.-  
  
Kelsey: Are you a Care Bear, Suzuki?  
  
Suzuki: No.  
  
Kelsey: Are you suuuure?  
  
Suzuki: Yeeees.  
  
Kelsey: He said yes! HE CONFESSED! *jumps Suzuki*  
  
Suzuki: What the-  
  
Kia: x.x  
  
Kelsey: DIE, EVIL BEAR! *whacks Suzuki*  
  
Suzuki: I'M NOT A BEAR!!  
  
Kia: At ease, Kelsey...  
  
Kelsey: AND I'M NOT GONNA RUB YOUR TUMMY!  
  
Rei: *pokes head in* Tummy?  
  
Suzuki: Heeelp me...  
  
Jin: *shakes head*  
  
Kelsey: EVIL...*whack*...GREEN...*whack*...BEAR...*whack*...DIE...*whack*  
  
Rei: Evil green bears? . Are they...gummi bears?  
  
Kia: KELSEY!  
  
Kia: No, Care Bears. -.-  
  
Kelsey: ...er...what?  
  
Hiei: Hn.  
  
Rei: Are they edible?  
  
Kia: Suzuki isn't a bear. And…ah...no?  
  
Kelsey: But...he confessed...  
  
Rei: Darn...*sits down*  
  
Kia: No he didn't.  
  
Kelsey: He said...yes.  
  
Kia: He said he was sure he WASN'T a bear.  
  
Kelsey: Ah...oh...um...*stands up* Sorry, Suzuki.  
  
Suzuki: *unconscious*  
  
Rei: o.o;;  
  
Kelsey: *pokes Suzuki with foot*  
  
Suzuki: x.x  
  
Kia: The poor Inventor dude...  
  
Kelsey: Inventor dude...*sniffle* He will be missed.  
  
Kia: I don't think he's dead...  
  
Rei: *holds up bag of gummi shapes* Look, a bag of gummi Hieis! *eats a gummi Hiei*  
  
Kelsey: ...yeah? He looks dead.  
  
Hiei: *glares at Rei*  
  
Rei: Look at all the different poses! *goggles gummi Hieis*  
  
Kia: *pokes* Suzuki. Broken Mirror.  
  
Suzuki: WHAT?!  
  
Kelsey: ..... KIA!  
  
Kia: ^^;; See? He's not dead!  
  
Kelsey: Well, he...uh...woot! *dances*  
  
Rei: Hey, a gummi mirror! *eats*  
  
SUZUKI: WHAT?!  
  
Rei: ...a gummi mirror!  
  
Kelsey: What is it with the damn mirrors?! x.x  
  
Kia: Tragic childhood experience?  
  
Rei: I like these...*sticks bag over head*  
  
Kelsey: Poor kid. *pats Suzuki*  
  
Suzuki: ...  
  
Kelsey: Suzuki, did you have a tragic childhood experience?  
  
Suzuki: x.x I don't want to talk about it.  
  
Rei: *runs around with the bag on her head*  
  
Kelsey: Why not? We're all confidants here.  
  
Suzuki: No we're not. Kia won't admit that she loves Jin.  
  
Kia: There's nothing to admit!!  
  
Rei: Wheeeeee! *slams into wall*  
  
Kelsey: Oh, suck it up...  
  
Pint: I don't see YOU admitting anything, girlie. *hiccups*  
  
Kelsey: There's nothing to tell!  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops at Pint*  
  
Pint: Suuuure....  
  
Kelsey: Stupid pint. *kicks*  
  
Pint: *goes flying*  
  
Kia: x.x Kelsey, be nice...  
  
Rei: Whoooooo....  
  
Kelsey: . So, Suzuki. Tell me about your mother.  
  
Suzuki: -.- No.  
  
Kelsey: Yes.  
  
Suzuki: No.  
  
Kelsey: x.x Yes.  
  
Suzuki: NO.  
  
Kelsey: How am I supposed to cure you if you won't tell me about your foremost female superior? X.x  
  
Suzuki: I don't NEED to be cured.  
  
Kia: NOW who's not admitting anything?  
  
Rei: *muffled voice from inside plastic bag* He lies!  
  
Kelsey: You're in denial. *hugs* Poor inventor dude.  
  
Suzuki: -.-  
  
Jin: Rei, you're going to suffocate...  
  
Rei: Who?  
  
Jin: You.  
  
Rei: Can't hear you...  
  
Kelsey: Suzuki, you're obviously in denial.  
  
Kia: *pulls bag off of Rei's head* ...  
  
Suzuki: No, I'm not.  
  
Rei: Heeeeey! *grabs bag* GUMMI!  
  
Kelsey: Yes, you're in denial about being in denial. It's obvious!  
  
Suzuki: There's nothing to deny!  
  
Kia: You're going to suffocate yourself...  
  
Kelsey: You're denying denial!  
  
Rei: Can I eat the gummies?  
  
Kia: Yes.  
  
Suzuki: No I'm not!  
  
Rei: *sticks bag on head and runs off* HAAAAAA!  
  
Kia: Rei!!  
  
Kelsey: YES YOU ARE!  
  
SUZUKI: LEAVE ME ALONE! *runs off*  
  
Rei: *chases* THE GUMMIS RULE ALL!  
  
Kelsey: Suzuki! ...grrr. Isn't he in denial, Kia?  
  
Rei: Whooooooooo! Run, inventor dude!  
  
Kia: Weeell...  
  
Suzuki: *runs*  
  
:  
  
Rei: Yaaah! *chases* Inventor dude on the loose!  
  
Kelsey: ...whaddaya mean, "Weeeeell"?  
  
Kia: I believe he IS in denial...  
  
Kelsey: ...aaaand?  
  
Kia: And what?  
  
Kelsey: . There's a Kia gummi on the floor.  
  
Kia: o.o;;  
  
Kelsey: *picks up Kia gummi* Wow...  
  
Rei: YAAAAH! *running in other direction*  
  
Kia: I come in a gummi? o.o  
  
Kelsey: Whoa...I wonder how it tastes?  
  
Kia: Dude...that's like...eating me...only gummified...  
  
Rei: GUMMI! *grabs Kia gummi and runs off*  
  
Kelsey: o.o HEY! I was gonna eat that...  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* Wait! Give my gummi self back!  
  
Rei: Maksaka! *crashes into wall*  
  
Kia: ...  
  
Kelsey: I think I like her better with that bag on her head...*takes Kia gummi*  
  
Kia: No! Don't eat me!  
  
Kelsey: But...it's GUMMI...  
  
Rei: My GUMMI...*gets up*  
  
Kia: No!  
  
Kelsey: ....*runs*  
  
Rei: EVIL! *chases*  
  
Kia: Liberate my gummi! *follows*  
  
Kelsey: Yaaaaaah! *chases Suzuki*  
  
Suzuki: *runs*  
  
Kelsey: Suzuki! *chases*  
  
Rei: Gummi! *chases Kelsey*  
  
Pint: *getting drunk*  
  
Kia: Save...me! *pursues*  
  
Kelsey: *tackles Suzuki*  
  
Suzuki: *falls*  
  
Rei: DOGPILE! *tackles Kelsey*  
  
Kelsey: O.O Ack...  
  
Kia: *tackles Rei* Gimme the gummi!  
  
Rei: I don't have it!  
  
Kelsey: *pokes Suzuki*  
  
Kia: Kelsey...  
  
Kelsey: *silent*  
  
Suzuki: ...  
  
Kelsey: *shoves gummi into Suzuki's mouth* HE has it!  
  
Kia: O.O  
  
Suzuki: ...*swallows the gummi*  
  
Rei: ...gummi?  
  
Kia: ...  
  
Kelsey: Suzuki!  
  
Suzuki: Tastes...like...green apples.  
  
Rei: o.o Murderer!  
  
Kelsey: Get off me, Rei!  
  
Rei: *glares at Suzuki*...*stands up*...YAAAAH! *continues running*  
  
Kia: You...you ATE me!  
  
Kelsey: Owww...*rolls off Suzuki*  
  
Rei: *crashes into Jin*  
  
Jin: *falls*  
  
Kelsey: . Bad Inventor dude.  
  
Suzuki: ...  
  
Rei: Watch where you're going, Jin!  
  
Jin: What'd I do?  
  
Rei: ...baka. *continues running*  
  
Kia: *bursts into tears* Suzuki ate my gummi equivalent!  
  
Kelsey: *hugs Kia*  
  
Kia: *sobs* I DIED!  
  
Kelsey: We should punish Suzuki...  
  
Kia: *sniffles* Hai...  
  
Rei: Hey, a Suzuki gummi!  
  
Kelsey: ...we really should take that bag off her head.  
  
Kia: Yes...  
  
Rei: NEVER! *runs*  
  
Kelsey: ....hey, look! A trail of gummies leading into the closet!  
  
Kia: That looks suspicious...  
  
Kelsey: We'd better follow it...  
  
Rei: *picks up Jin* Jinny, boy! Off to the palm eggs!  
  
Kia: Yes, indeed...  
  
Jin: What??  
  
Kelsey: *picks up first gummy*...ooh, me-shaped. *eats*  
  
Rei: Run, Jinny, run! The whales shall never triumph!  
  
Kia: Kelsey, you just ate you...  
  
Jin: o.o  
  
Kelsey: ...well, it went for a good cause. *inches closer to the door* Hey, Shishi-shaped! *eats*  
  
Kia: o.o  
  
Kelsey: Last one...*eats and opens door*  
  
Kia: *follows* Which one was it?  
  
Kelsey: Axe-shaped...*looks into closet* Hello?  
  
Sneakers: DIE! *laces wrap around both girls' ankles and drag them in; door slams shut*  
  
Kia: HEY!  
  
Kelsey: ...heeelp?  
  
Sneakers: Hahaha!  
  
Kia: What the hell?  
  
Sneakers: Finally, revenge! You will be our slaves, ningen girls!  
  
Kia: Why do sneakers need slaves?  
  
Sneakers: We're so very lonely.  
  
:  
  
Kia: So...uh...get married?  
  
Sneakers: Yes! *cling to girls* We love you!  
  
Kia: Wait...let me rephrase that...MARRY OTHER SNEAKERS!  
  
Sneakers: But...  
  
Kia: It kinda works that way...  
  
Sneakers: ...no! We have chosen you two as our ningen slaves.  
  
Kelsey: ...I'm getting freaked out.  
  
Kia: ...Me too.  
  
Kelsey: Let's leave...  
  
Kia: Yes...good idea.  
  
Kelsey: *opens door and leaves*  
  
Kia: *follows*  
  
Rei: *still trying to get Jin to run*  
  
Jin: *still confused*  
  
Kelsey: o.o Suzuki?  
  
Suzuki: ...What?  
  
Kelsey: Ready to talk?  
  
Rei: . *inches towards Suzuki*  
  
Suzuki: No.  
  
Kelsey: Whyyyyyyy?  
  
Suzuki: *inches away from Rei* None of your business.  
  
Rei: *keeps inching closer*  
  
Kelsey: . Friends don't keep secrets.  
  
Suzuki: *backs away*  
  
Rei: *inches*  
  
Kelsey: ...I'm just trying to help...x.x  
  
Suzuki: I don't want to be helped.  
  
Kelsey: Do you like self-pity too much to let it go?  
  
Rei: *taps Suzuki*  
  
Suzuki: I'm not pitying myself! *looks at Rei*  
  
Rei: Gummi? *holds out Suzuki gummis*  
  
Kelsey: Oh, suuuure...e.e  
  
Suzuki: o.o  
  
Pint: *splashes*  
  
Rei: They're delicious. *peers from under bag*  
  
Kia: Don't...eat...ah...Suzuki?  
  
Kelsey: *picks up pint* Let's watch TV, Pint. *exits*  
  
Rei: They're very yummy. I ate the Hiei ones!  
  
Hiei: Hn?  
  
Rei: I ate your gummies.  
  
Hiei: *glares*  
  
Rei: Are you angry? *offers katana-shaped gummis*  
  
Hiei: *looks at gummis*  
  
Rei: ;_;  
  
Hiei: *takes the gummis*  
  
Rei: Yay! *hugs*  
  
Hiei: Touch me again and die.  
  
Rei: ...*inches away*  
  
Hiei: *staring oddly at gummis*  
  
Rei: They're for eating!  
  
Hiei: They're...edible?  
  
Rei: Yes! ^^  
  
Hiei: *cautiously eats one*  
  
Rei: *leans forward* Yummy?  
  
Hiei: ...Hn.  
  
Kia: That means yes...  
  
Rei: Yay! ^^ *dances* I knew that.  
  
Hiei: ...  
  
Rei: Victory! *dances with Kia*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* Ano?  
  
Rei: Yes! Whooooooo!  
  
Kia: o.o  
  
Rei: Wheeee! *does the gummi dance*  
  
Kia: Rei...you can let me go now...  
  
Rei: Never! *spins*  
  
Kia: x.x Heeeelp.  
  
Rei: *twirls* Wheeeee!  
  
Kia: KELSEY!  
  
Kelsey: *watching TV with Pint*  
  
Kia: KELSEY, SAVE ME!  
  
Kelsey: ...*lifts head*...you 'ear summin', Pint?  
  
Pint: . No.  
  
Kia: KELSEY!!!!!  
  
Kelsey: Eh...thought I 'eard summin'...  
  
Pint: No, it must be your imagination.  
  
Kelsey: ...you...uh...  
  
Kia: DAMN IT ALL TO CRAP BOOGER HELL!  
  
Kelsey: ...ey! S'Kia! *jumps up* I...save! *sways*  
  
Pint: Nooo...;_; I'm all alone now...  
  
Kelsey: Yaaaaaarg! *tackles Rei*  
  
Kia: o.o  
  
Rei: Owww! *releases Kia*  
  
Kelsey: Ay! Take..that...an' that...an'...*falls asleep*  
  
Pint: You evil, evil people.  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops*  
  
Rei: o.o...Suzuki...what is it, seriously? *edges away from pint*  
  
Suzuki: What?  
  
Rei: Your problem.  
  
Suzuki: I don't have one.  
  
Rei: Really?  
  
Suzuki: Really.  
  
Rei: Wow. ^-^ Have some mirror-shaped gummis! *tosses gummis in air* CONFETTI! *dances*  
  
Suzuki: *inches away*  
  
Rei: Mirrors are yummy. *eats*  
  
Kia: ...  
  
Kelsey: Zzzzzz....  
  
Kia: Uh...Kelsey...?  
  
Kelsey: .....zzzzzz...ehehe...zzzzz...  
  
Kia: o.o  
  
Kelsey: Zzzz...hehe...zzzzzz...*twitch*  
  
Rei: Awww, she's dreaming!  
  
Kia: Of what?  
  
Rei: Running through the jungle, stalking her prey?  
  
Kelsey: *twitch*...*twitch*...heeeee...  
  
Kia: Scary thought...  
  
Rei: o.o;;  
  
Kelsey: Bwaha...*twitch*...  
  
Rei: *pokes Kelsey* Hehe...mess with her dreams.  
  
Kia: o.o  
  
Kelsey: ...bad gummi...*twitch*  
  
Rei: Wheee! *pokes again*  
  
Kelsey: *twitch* Gummis...  
  
Rei: Hehe...*pelts with gummis*  
  
Kelsey: *twitch* No...gummis...*twitch*...kill..  
  
Kia: Uh...Rei...  
  
Rei: Meeeehehehehe...*pelts some more*  
  
Kia: REI.  
  
Kelsey: Bwaha...*twitch*..resistance is futile...zzzzzz...  
  
Rei: Whaaaa?  
  
Kia: Be nice.  
  
Rei: But it's fuuuun..  
  
Kelsey: Bwaha...haha...run, little gummies...*twitch*  
  
Kia: o.o  
  
Rei: *pokes*....  
  
Kelsey: Bwa...supreme...*twitch*...overlord...haha… 


	12. Nine Wraiths and a Worm

Kia: …and then he made us watch Vertigo…AGAIN… *thunk*  
  
Kelsey: Never saw it. Isn't that the one with the gay tenor ringwraith in the belltower?  
  
Kia: o.o;; Actually, it's a nun, but close enough.  
  
Kelsey: ...a gay tenor ringwraith...converted?  
  
Kia: ...Got a sex-change, turned to God...o.o  
  
Kelsey: x.x Poor Sauron. Now he has no tenor for his theme song choir.  
  
Kia: But plenty of basses.  
  
Kelsey: ...yes, all the blind, hobbit-fetished basses...  
  
Kia: ...This is one of those times where we scare me.  
  
Kelsey: Oh...but where's Sauron gonna find another tenor? *looks under rock*  
  
Kia: We'll ask one of the elves...  
  
Kelsey: Ooh! I found one! *holds up earthworm*  
  
Kia: o.o;; I didn't know earthworms could sing.  
  
Kelsey: ...neither did I. Can they?  
  
Kia: I don't think so. But it WOULD look cute in a little ringwraith outfit. It could be a ringworm.  
  
Kelsey: Aww! *snugs ringworm* We need to get it a little cloak, and a little horsie, and a little flying lizard thing, and a teensy sword....  
  
Kia: Where are we going to find a little horsie? o.o  
  
Kelsey: ...borrow a kudarung?  
  
Kia: And it'd have wings too. ^^ That's a plus.  
  
Kelsey: No need for an eeensy flying lizard-thing?  
  
Kia: Guess not.  
  
Kelsey: . But what about the teensy sword? And the itty cloak?  
  
Kia: We'll MAKE them!  
  
Kelsey: Oooh...*gets out bitty tape measurer* Say 'aaah', Ringworm...  
  
Kia: o.o;; Why 'aah'?  
  
Kelsey: I'm not sure, but it sure is amusing...all right, I think he's a size...ah... *squints at tape measurer* point oh-two-three. Do we make that size?  
  
Kia: We'll manage, I'm sure. *scribbles down measurements*  
  
Ringworm: *blush*...*earthworm chatter*  
  
Kelsey: ...he says he's been watching his calories. It shows.  
  
Kia: He should be proud. He's fitter than all of the other ringwraiths.  
  
Kelsey: So true. Okay...well...for the sword...can't we borrow something from a midget?  
  
Ringwraith #9: Eh, pacha?  
  
Kelsey: Like...Hiei? . Okay, maybe he's not THAT small.  
  
Ringworm: *earthworm chatter*  
  
Kia: ....hm...  
  
Ringwraith #4: *trips over rock* Can't we make it out of foil?  
  
Kia: *hugs Ringwraith #4* You're me! I mean, I got you on that quiz! And foil's too cheap...how could the poor worm defend itself??  
  
Witch-king: Clean my robes! Fetch me the ring! Kill the hobbits!  
  
Kia: *twitch*  
  
Kelsey: ...riiiight...er...what about a toothpick? We could paint it silver!  
  
Kia: o.o;; But what if it tries to stab Frodo? It'll never work...I could always ask Suzuki; he's a genius at such things...  
  
Not a Nazgul: *whips off robe* 'Tis I, Suzuki!  
  
Ringworm: *earthworm chatter*  
  
Kia: o.o Suzuki??  
  
...he says put some clothes on, you stupid impostor.  
  
Suzuki: *puts robes back on* Yes, 'tis I, the beautiful Suzuki! We shall fashion you a grand sword, tiny invertebrae!  
  
Ringwraith #2: No one ever bothered to make ME a sword...  
  
Ringwraith #3-turned-female-and-converted: Praise God!  
  
Kia: x.x   
  
Kelsey: ....nooooo...*pushes Ringwraith #3-turned-female-and-converted off the belltower*  
  
Kia: *watches Ringwraith fall* x.x Damn vertigo...  
  
Ringwraith #3-turned-female-and-converted: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.......  
  
**splat**  
  
Kelsey: YAY! *dances*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrop* Kelsey...  
  
Kelsey: ...whaaat?  
  
Ringwraith #4: Wha? Who fell off the elephant?  
  
Kia: Tower. x.x Ring Wraith #3, formerly known as the gay tenor.  
  
Kelsey: We were replacing him anyways...*snugs Ringworm*  
  
Kia: Or her. o.o  
  
Ringwraith #5: Mommy! *snugs Kia* I learneded to write my name! Seeeee?  
  
Kia: It's sooooo cute! Can we adopt them, Kelsey??  
  
Ringwraith #4: What's the elephant doing on a tower?  
  
Kelsey: Awww! *snugs* Yes! We shall name them all PIERRE!  
  
Yusuke: RINGWRAITH, you dumbass!  
  
Kia: Don't insult our adopted children! *whaps Yusuke*  
  
Kelsey: ...*pushes Yusuke off belltower*  
  
Yusuke: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! *splat*  
  
Kelsey: Y'know...that's really efficient!  
  
Pierre #6: Are we done yet? I'm late for my manicure...  
  
Pierreworm: *snugs Kia*  
  
Kelsey: Aww...he's wrapping around your finger! =^^=  
  
Kia: *snugs worm back* Isn't it going to be confusing to call them all Pierre?  
  
Kelsey: *pats Pierre #4* Well, would you rather call them all Ringwraith?  
  
Kia: Maybe? *shrug*  
  
Pierre #5: Mommyyyyy...seeee?!  
  
Kia: I see...it's very good! ^^   
  
Pierre #7: Dude...like...whoa.  
  
Yusuke's Ghost: Dumbass...  
  
Pierre #5: *gasp* MOMMY, he said a *whispers* bad word...  
  
Pierre #4: Who are all these people?!  
  
Yusuke: **** off, you little ****!!  
  
Kia: o.o YUSUKE!  
  
Pierre #2: I never had a mommy...  
  
Kelsey: *pushes Yusuke's ghost off the belltower*  
  
Pierreworm: *earthworm chatter*  
  
Kelsey: He says **** off to you, too!  
  
Pierre #6: That's it...I can't stand the fighting...I need to go get my nails done! *rushes off*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops*  
  
Pierre #8: Bring me back some mints! ...can we eat the tasty ghost?  
  
Kia: I don't think Keiko would like that...  
  
Pierre #5: *********! ^^  
  
Kia: o.o Ummm...  
  
Kelsey: ...what exactly did he just say?  
  
Pierre #5: *********.  
  
Kia: I'll let you know when my ears stop burning...  
  
Pierre #8: I didn't teach him that...*looks around* Who stole my frying pan?!  
  
Pierre #4: *wearing frying pan as a hat*  
  
Kia: *takes frying pan off* Umm...that's 8's...  
  
Pierre #2: *sulks in a corner*  
  
The ghost of Yusuke's ghost: ...Shit.  
  
Pierre #4: But what's supposed to protect me from all the...all the things I need protecting from? *twitch*  
  
Kelsey: o.o Ghosts can have ghosts?  
  
Kia: Apparently...o.o And...uh...get a guard dog...  
  
Pierre #9: Squeaker squeak...squeak squeaken.  
  
Pierre #7: Like...whoa.  
  
Kia: *closes eyes* Dear God, help me get through this...  
  
Witch-king: Fetch me my pacifier!  
  
Kia: Fetch it yourself!  
  
Witch-king: Maksaka! I am the witch king of Angmar! I do not fetch my own pacifier!  
  
Kia: You'll ****ing fetch it before I kick your ass!  
  
Pierre #2: I had to fetch MY pacifier...  
  
Witch-king: NEVER!  
  
Kia: *pulls out oar*  
  
Pierre #8: Would everyone please SHUT THE **** UP?! ...you're making my muffins nervous. *snugs tray of muffins*  
  
Kia: Kelsey, I leave Chef and #2 to you...I have a King to whap...  
  
Witch-king: Ha! I do not fear your mortal items.  
  
Kia: x.x It's REIKAI, dumbass! *beats Witch-king over the head*  
  
Kelsey: . *snugs Pierre #8* It's okay...muffins are more violent than you think.  
  
Witch-king: *pulls out Frodo*  
  
Kia: o.o  
  
Witch-king: AHA!  
  
Kelsey: ...*pats Pierre #2* It's okay.  
  
Pierre #2: ...you snugged HIM...  
  
Pierre #5: Mommyyyy...I gotta go...  
  
Kelsey: -.- *snugs Pierre #2* Don't worry.  
  
Kia: *sigh* Have #4 take you...*glares at Witch-king*  
  
Pierre #4: All right...does this elephant have a bathroom? *grabs Pierre #5*  
  
Witch-king: You dare not harm your precious bishie!  
  
Kelsey: Actually...MERRY'S my bishie. -^^-  
  
Witch-king: I didn't ask YOU!  
  
Kia: Jin is my bishie. Oh, wait, he's YYH. o.o  
  
Pierre #6: *dashes back in* We've got to get you a bishie, dah-ling.... What'd I miss?  
  
Kia: Nothing much...what are you talking about?  
  
Pierre #6: We must find you an LOTR bishie. *snugs*  
  
Kia: But what if I don't want one? o.o  
  
Pierre #8: Don't try to argue with Six. It won't work. *cuddles muffins*  
  
Pierre #5: *does potty dance* I don't wanna go heeere, Four...  
  
Kia: x.x *sighs*  
  
Kelsey: Listen to them, Kia! They want potty bishies. I think.  
  
Pierre #2: You missed a spot...  
  
Kelsey: -.- *snugs #2*  
  
Kia: #5, I'll take you...-.-  
  
Pierre #5: Yay!  
  
Witch-king: *looks at Frodo*...hm.  
  
Kia: Leave the Frodo alone. *escorts #5 to the bathroom*  
  
Witch-king: *tucks Frodo back in his robes* I'll save you for later.  
  
Pierreworm: *nibbles at muffins*  
  
Pierre #8: O.O NO! *thwacks Pierreworm off tower*  
  
Ghost of Yusuke's ghost: *eats muffin*  
  
Kelsey: O.O PIERREWORM! NOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Kia: o.o What's all the screaming about?  
  
Kelsey: *sobs* PIERREWOOOOORM! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY??!  
  
Pierre #8: *inches slowly away*  
  
Kia: The worm?? o.o;;  
  
Pierre #2: I've never had anyone grieve over ME...  
  
Kelsey: *sniff* He got flicked off the tower...  
  
Kia: Nooooooooooooo!!!  
  
Pierre #8: Actually, it was more like a thwap...  
  
Kia: *glares at #8* How COULD you?!  
  
Pierre #4: *snugs Ghost of Yusuke's ghost* Hey, pretty lady!  
  
Pierre #8: I...I...my MUFFINS! *snugs muffins* o.o Muffin three? MUFFIN THREEEEEE?! *looks around*  
  
Ghost of Yusuke's Ghost: o.o;; LET GO OF ME!!  
  
Kelsey: *sniff* Look...it's his little cloak...*picks up cloak*  
  
Kia: *bursts into tears*  
  
Pierre #4: Don't deny our love, sweet lovebunny!  
  
Kelsey: *huggles Kia and sobs*  
  
Ghost of Yusuke's Ghost: If you don't let me go, you sick bastard...  
  
Kia: *huggles back* He died so young!!  
  
Hiei: Hn.  
  
Pierre #4: I am sick with love for you!  
  
Yusuke: I'm a guy, BAKA!  
  
Kelsey: *wails* He sang...*sob* So beautifully...  
  
Kia: *sobbing hysterically now*  
  
Hiei: ...Baka ningens.  
  
Kelsey: I wonder...if a crow will eat his corpse...*hiccups and sobs*  
  
Pierre #8: ...muffin?  
  
Pierre #4: It matters not, my sweet! We are together!  
  
Pierre #6: *files nails*  
  
Pierre #2: *sulks in corner*  
  
Witch-king: *scurries off to secret bishie hidey-hole* Kekeke.  
  
Kia: I don't want his corpse to be eaten!! He must have a burial!  
  
Hiei: It's a WORM.  
  
Kelsey: We must find the corpse! *leaps up*  
  
Pierre #8: I'll prepare the buffet...*begins frying an egg on Hiei*  
  
Hiei: *smacks #8 with his katana*  
  
Pierre #7: ...dude? Like, harsh...  
  
Kia: Yes! Let us go!  
  
Yusuke: x.x  
  
Pierre #8: I will be waiting with delicious edibles!  
  
Kelsey: ONWARD! *strikes pose*...uh...how do we get down?  
  
Kia: The oar...?  
  
Kelsey: Ah, yes. *grabs onto end of oar*  
  
Kia: *hops onto oar and flies out of window to the ground*  
  
Pierre #4: Bye, talking oar!  
  
Yusuke: ...Dumbass...  
  
Kelsey: Wheeeeeee! *lands* ...y'know, that still hurts. *looks around* Pierreworm, precious! Speak to me!  
  
Pierre #5: *tugs on Yusuke* Mister, have you seen my pants?  
  
Yusuke: x.x They're on your head...  
  
Kia: *still on hovering oar* This could take awhile...  
  
Pierre #5: ...oh! Thanks. ^-^ *skips off*  
  
Yusuke: ...  
  
Kelsey: Yes...*grabs innocent bystander* YOU! WHERE IS MY PIERREWORM?!  
  
Innocent Bystander: *faints*  
  
Kelsey: Rrrgh...*tosses innocent bystander into the river* He won't tell anyone.  
  
Kia: o.o  
  
Ghost of Pierreworm: *coff*  
  
Kelsey: Pierreworm?  
  
Ringwraith #8: *chopping up vegetables* You, short one...please bring me the zucchini.   
  
Hiei: Who are you calling short? *twitch*  
  
Pierre #8: I simply CANNOT have a salad without zucchini!  
  
Hiei: Do it yourself.  
  
Pierre #8: I am extremely busy shredding the lettuce into exactly equal pieces!  
  
Hiei: Do it or I shred YOU. And the pieces won't be equal.  
  
Pierre #6: *hovers over Kia* How about Eomer? Brave horselord, yes?  
  
Kia: o.o I don't want a bishie.  
  
Ghost of Pierreworm: *worm chatter*  
  
Kelsey: *joyous reunion with Pierreworm*  
  
Pierre #6: But you MUST have an LOTR bishie if you are to rescue Frodo from the evil grip of his bishiemaster, the Witch-King!  
  
Kia: But I don't WANT to rescue Frodo!!  
  
Pierre #2: *lands on Kia* THEN YOU DOOM US ALL!  
  
Kia: ...Get off me.  
  
Pierre #7: *looks down from tower* Yo...Frodo's like...the story, man...*sways* It'd be totally rotten, dude, without our swift prey...like, whoa...  
  
Pierre #2: Everyone sits on me...-.- *gets off Kia* Seriously, though. No Frodo=no us.  
  
Hiei: It's a hobbit. There were nine of you and you couldn't CATCH A HOBBIT?  
  
Kia: *rolls her eyes*  
  
Pierre #8: Would you like to be the new Frodo? Or would you like to slice my zucchini just so?  
  
Hiei: I'm not doing anything for you.  
  
Kelsey: *ties cloak on Ghost of Pierreworm* There...all toasty for ghosty.  
  
Pierre #5: Mean *****. Then you gotta help us get Frodo!  
  
Kia: Who taught him that word...x.x  
  
Pierre #8: o.o Still isn't me.  
  
Hiei: Hn.  
  
Pierre #6: *examines gauntlets* ...the Witch-King could kick your ass, anyhow.  
  
Kia: Well, then, we leave Frodo and YOU leave ME alone.   
  
Kelsey: We shall march to the rescue of Frodo! .... Uh...wait...what?  
  
Pierreworm: *worm chatter*  
  
Pierre #8: *begins to eat salad* He says..*chewing*...that if they have no one to...*chewing*...fail to capture, they're out of a job.  
  
Kia: So capture someone else.  
  
Kelsey: Sounds good.  
  
Pierre #9: Who?  
  
Kia: Suzuki. Hiei. The ghost of Yusuke's ghost. *shrugs*  
  
Pierre #2: *climbs up the tower*  
  
Pierre #4: *leans over the edge* WHAT ABOUT THE SHORT MOLE-MAN?  
  
Kia: ...What short mole man?  
  
Pierre #4: THE ONE WITH THE PINEAPPLES!  
  
Pierre #2: *pushes Four back into the tower*  
  
Kia: ...Pineapples? You mean Hiei?  
  
Hiei: *glares*  
  
Pierre #8: Ooooh, Hiei! I'd never quite noticed!  
  
Hiei: Noticed WHAT?  
  
Pierre #8: Your fruitlike hair! I have the strangest urge to chop it up and serve it with shaved ice...  
  
Hiei: Get away from me before I impale you.  
  
Pierre #8: *takes tin of muffins and edges across the belltower*  
  
Kelsey: SOMEONE'S possessive...  
  
Kia: I have a headache...  
  
Pierreworm: *worm chatter*  
  
Pierre #7: He says...like, we totally are so very relaxed with awesomely nothing to do. Dude, we very wisely relinquish Frodo to the fetished grip of the sparzzed Witch-King.  
  
Kia: Oh my god...you're all insane...*massages temples*  
  
Pierre #5: Mommyyyy...*leans over the edge of the belltower* Seven's drooling!  
  
Kia: Hey! *drags #5 back* Not too close!  
  
Pierre #5: But Mommyyyyyy...  
  
Kelsey: Hm...*pokes drooling Seven*  
  
Pierre #7: *twitch*...ugggaaa...  
  
Kia: Seven, stop drooling.  
  
Pierre #2: No use.  
  
Pierre #7: Tbbtttthhhhpt. *raspberry*  
  
Kia: ...Yeah, I see your point.  
  
Pierreworm: *lands on Ghost of Yusuke's Ghost* ... *worm chatter*  
  
Yusuke: Really? You don't say...  
  
Pierreworm: =^^= *worm chatter*  
  
Kia: I probably don't want to know.  
  
Yusuke: Shit, you're serious??  
  
Kelsey: I could get you a dictionary...  
  
Pierreworm: *nod* ... *worm chatter*  
  
Pierre #5: *in awe* ...wow...  
  
Kia: They have worm dictionaries?   
  
Kelsey: Yup...*discreetly hands "How to Speak Wormish" to Kia*  
  
Yusuke: And then what?   
  
Kia: *thumbs through pages* I had no idea they knew how to say that...  
  
Pierreworm: *squirms*...*awkward worm chatter*  
  
Yusuke: Damn, man, you are one pimpin' worm...  
  
Kelsey: =o.o=  
  
Pierre #9: Woooow.  
  
Kia: ...  
  
Pierre #2: Please, tell me you can understand this, brown-haired one.  
  
Kia: I can, but I don't want to...  
  
Hiei: Hn.  
  
Kelsey: Hehehehe.  
  
Pierreworm: ^^;; *worm chatter*  
  
Yusuke: And then you did WHAT?? You rock!  
  
Pierreworm: *does a little worm-dance*  
  
Pierre #5: *claps*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops* Can I run now?  
  
Kelsey: Feel free...but I'm staying for the show. *munches popcorn*  
  
Pierre #7: Like, you so totally rock!  
  
Kia: *inching away*  
  
Pierre #5: Mommyyy...*follows*  
  
Kelsey: ^^  
  
Pierreworm: *worm chatter*  
  
Kia: I'm not your mommy. o.o  
  
Pierre #5: *keeps following*  
  
Kia: *sweatdrops and turns back* This is pointless.  
  
Kelsey: You just noticed?  
  
Kia: No, I just didn't admit it...  
  
Kelsey: Denial...*gives popcorn* Watch the show!  
  
Pierreworm: *worm chatter*  
  
Kia: We're technically IN the show, you know.  
  
Yusuke: *high-fives worm* Dude.  
  
Kelsey: Ssssh! They don't know that!  
  
Kia: ...They?  
  
Pierre #5: Mommyyyy, sssshh....  
  
Kia: x.x I'm not your mommy.  
  
Hiei: Hn. *eyes zucchini*  
  
Pierre #8: *looks hopeful*  
  
Hiei: *glares at #8*  
  
Pierre #8: *pretends to be interested elsewhere*  
  
Kia: *watches this with large sweatdrop forming*  
  
Pierreworm: *lounges on Ghost of Yusuke's Ghost's shoulder*  
  
Yusuke: So, tell me more, little worm homie.  
  
Pierreworm: *nod*...*worm chatter*  
  
Pierre #2: I didn't know they knew how to say that.  
  
Kia: That makes two of us...  
  
Pierre #2: At last, a soulmate. ^^  
  
Kia: o.O Uh...no.   
  
Hiei: *snickers*  
  
Pierre #8: *grins*  
  
Kia: Okay, stop smiling. x.x   
  
Hiei: You're amusing.  
  
Pierre #2: Me?  
  
Hiei: Both of you. I think the look of horror on her face is genuine.  
  
Pierre #8: Let me try...*sits on Kia's lap*  
  
Kia: What are you DOING??  
  
Pierre #8: *snugs Kia*  
  
Kia: x.x Keeeeeelseeeeey...  
  
Kelsey: Huh? *looks up*  
  
Kia: Save meeeee...  
  
Kelsey: PREPARE YOURSELF! *tackles Pierre #8 off the belltower*  
  
Kia: o.o  
  
Kelsey: *dusts hands* I go...and it is done.  
  
Kia: Thank you.  
  
Pierre #5: *watches Eight fall* ;-;  
  
Hiei: Hn. *smirks*  
  
Kelsey: That's not very nice, Hiei...  
  
Hiei: I'm not very nice, ningen.  
  
Kelsey: Yeah, but he liked you...  
  
Hiei: I didn't like him.  
  
Kelsey: You don't like anyone, sheephead.  
  
Hiei: *raises eyebrow* Sheephead?  
  
Kia: *trying not to laugh*  
  
Kelsey: You're good enough for the Mayor, you egg-spattered marrow-eater...  
  
Hiei: *pulls out katana* I'm going to kill you.  
  
Kelsey: You couldn't if you tried, seeing as you're one Mathom short of a Pile...*dances away*  
  
Kia: ...She lost me.  
  
Kelsey: ONWARDS, you cracked alespot!  
  
Hiei: *lunges for Kelsey*  
  
Kelsey: *dodges* You're getting old, Gerontius!  
  
Hiei: OLD?! *speeds up*  
  
Kia: Oh, here we go...  
  
Kelsey: You may not be pipeless, but you're shady as a miller around wits....  
  
Kia: Kelsey, stop taunting him. x.x  
  
Kelsey: But it's so EASY...and I haven't even had to use his shortness...  
  
Kia: But it's mean.  
  
Kelsey: He deserves it! Stupid alespot.  
  
Hiei: Tch. *lunges again*  
  
Kelsey: Hwwwaaa! *tackles Hiei*  
  
Hiei: *slips away*  
  
Kelsey: Damn you!  
  
Hiei: Hn. You cannot hope to catch me.  
  
Kelsey: You think yourself special, that I would chase you.  
  
Hiei: Leave me alone, then.  
  
Kelsey: You're the one that attacked me...  
  
Hiei: You mocked me.  
  
Kelsey: Of course I did...  
  
Kia: Guys...  
  
Kelsey: Oh, shut up...you do it, too.  
  
Kia: Not as much.  
  
Kelsey: Only when he can't hear you.  
  
Kia: Because I'm smart.  
  
Kelsey: People deserve to know what you think about them...  
  
Kia: He'll find out eventually.  
  
Kelsey: It's better firsthand.  
  
Kia: Why are we arguing?  
  
Kelsey: Because I'm right.  
  
Kia: Not all the time.  
  
Kelsey: About this, yes.  
  
Kia: Yeah, well...*folds arms*  
  
Kelsey: Bring it.  
  
Kia: It's already been BROUGHT!  
  
Kelsey: I think you missed, then...  
  
Kia: Pft.  
  
Kelsey: *waits*  
  
Kia: ...Okay, fine.  
  
Kelsey: Yes?  
  
Kia: I was wrong, you were right...  
  
Kelsey: About...  
  
Kia: ...I don't know.  
  
Kelsey: Hm...  
  
Kia: I forgot...  
  
Kelsey: Me too...  
  
Kia: Go, us.  
  
Kelsey: Wow. *sits down*  
  
Kia: *sits down also*  
  
Hiei: Hn.  
  
Kelsey: You're just angry because I'm not trying to kill you, Hiei...*leans back*  
  
Hiei: You are not worth my time.  
  
Kelsey: Then why are you here? *picks scab*  
  
Hiei: Because I'm bored.  
  
Kelsey: Do tell...  
  
Hiei: There's nothing to tell.  
  
Kelsey: Well, you seem to be bored.  
  
Hiei: I am.  
  
Kelsey: Speak!  
  
Hiei: Fuck off.  
  
Kelsey: Midgets first.  
  
Kia: ...  
  
Kelsey: -_- Okay, fine...sorry.  
  
Hiei: Hn. *stalks away*  
  
Kelsey: I'm glad he apologized.  
  
Kia: He did. *grin*  
  
Kelsey: Yup. ^^  
  
Kia: He's such a stoic little guy.  
  
Kelsey: What a character.  
  
Hiei: Shut up.  
  
Kelsey: That's a good thing!  
  
Hiei: Hn.  
  
Kia: She's right.  
  
Kelsey: .  
  
Kia: Hey...where'd all the Pierres go?  
  
Kelsey: They got tired...  
  
Kia: Poor things...  
  
Kelsey: Yeah...there's only so much crossover they can take.  
  
Kia: Awww...  
  
Kelsey: They really are cute, if you make them shut up.  
  
Kia: Yeah, they are...I sorta miss them...  
  
Kelsey: We'll see 'em again...wanna go home?  
  
Kia: Yeah...  
  
Kelsey: *nod* ... I wonder if any of them will follow us...  
  
Kia: Like dogs. ^^  
  
Kelsey: *opens door* I wouldn't be surprised...*vanishes*  
  
Kia: *vanishes as well* 


	13. Suzaku's INCREDIBLE, WONDERFUL, and PRAI...

"Ganondorf's Return" is © Legendary Frog at Thankies muchly, Joey!  
  
Rei: -ahem- Hear ye, hear ye! -reads from scroll- The GREAT and WONDERFUL and BEAUTIFUL and all-around FANTASTIC Suzaku has declared that he will be commissioning those worthy to act in his INCREDIBLY AWESOME acting experience!  
  
Kelsey: , that means money! -pokes Shishi- Money.  
  
Kia:...Incredibly awesome? Does he use a thesaurus?  
  
Shishi: -perks up- Money?  
  
Kelsey: We could get paid to be in another...uh...acting thing!  
  
Kia: ...Oh, no.  
  
Shishi: No more finger traps...  
  
Rei: I dunno...I just read this stuff! Anyhow, it's titled "Ganondorf's Return". Finger traps and pies need not apply.  
  
Rinku: Sweet! -scurries away-  
  
Suka: -trots after Rinku-  
  
Kia: How about I just watch this one...? -inching away-  
  
Rei: pounces Fat chance, Kia-face! -ahem- I shall now announce the INCREDIBLE and ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME opportunities which shall ENLIGHTEN and S-  
  
Kelsey: Cut to the chase!  
  
Rei: Ah, yes. The parts are Ganondorf, Ganny, Link, Navi, Zelda, Malon, Saria, and...wait, I think that's it...  
  
Kia: I say you have Hiei play Ganny.  
  
Hiei: I'll kill you.  
  
Kelsey: How about you kill her AFTER you act as the adorable squeaky toy?  
  
Hiei: I. Don't. Squeak.  
  
Kelsey: You will when I'm done with you, damnit!  
  
Kia: o.o Now, Kelsey...  
  
Rei: Hm...oooh! -pounces on Shishi- You're a perfect Malon!  
  
Shishi: ...Isn't that a GIRL?  
  
Rei: You look it. The ALMIGHTY and incredibly WISE Suzaku has specially requested that you perform this most PRESTIGIOUS and WELL-PAID job...  
  
Kelsey: -reading through script- This sounds like fun...  
  
Shishi: ...I know I'm beautiful, but I'm only doing this as fan-service...  
  
Kia: ...Sweet freedom, how I long for thee...  
  
Kelsey: Ooh…-pokes Kia- You can be....uh...Navi!  
  
Kia: o.O A faerie??  
  
Shishi: At least you're the same gender!  
  
Rei: All right, who wants to volunteer to be the king of EVIL!  
  
Kelsey: -still reading script-  
  
Suzuki: -admiring reflection in mirror-  
  
Suka: -nudges Suzuki-  
  
Suzuki: -blinks-  
  
Kia: Why can't Suka be the faerie...?  
  
Kelsey: Because you are…-continues reading-  
  
Rei: -drags Suzuki around- You must be the king of Evil!  
  
Suzuki: I gave up evil a long time ago.  
  
Suka: -innocent woof-  
  
Kia: Suka, take my place...I swear, they'll never know the difference!  
  
Kelsey: That's good, because he's a REFORMED Ganondorf...  
  
Suka: .  
  
Kia: And I'll just discreetly slip away....  
  
Suka: -grabs hold of Kia's pantleg-  
  
Kia: I'm too young to fly!  
  
Rei: Jin, c'mere! And bring Touya with you!  
  
Kelsey: Kia, you already KNOW how to fly.  
  
Jin: Eh? -drags Touya over-  
  
Kia: ...Oh yeah, huh...but not with faerie wings!  
  
Kelsey: Just fake it.  
  
Rei: Jin, you're Saria. Touya, be Zelda.  
  
Jin and Touya: -horrified- WHAAAAAAT?!  
  
Rei: Okay, fine...Jin, be Link. Touya...well, you're still Zelda.  
  
Touya: -grumbles-  
  
Kelsey: What about meeee?  
  
Rei: YOU should've spoken up.  
  
Kelsey: I AM speaking up! Right now!  
  
Kia: ...She can be the faerie. Really.  
  
Rei: Uhm...okay, Saria's open.…-hands Kokiri dress-  
  
Kelsey: Neat. -goes to change-  
  
Rei: Hiei, here's your Ganny suit! -produces blue squeaky suit-  
  
Hiei: -eyes it with extreme loathing-  
  
Rei: It'll do your squeaking for you...all you have to do is wear it. Uhm…-rummages in costume sack- Kia, c'mere...  
  
Kia: -reluctantly steps closer-  
  
Rei: AHA! -dumps immense amounts of glitter on Kia and straps on faerie wings- There, all done! Shishi, come get your dress and bandana!  
  
Kia: . I hate this, I hate this...  
  
Shishi: Only for fan-service...  
  
Kelsey: -comes back from changing- Dude, I love this. It's...what, a long-tunic? twirls  
  
Rei: Here…-hands Malon costume- Don't forget your falsetto!  
  
Kia: I feel like Magical Faerie BARBIE...  
  
Shishi: I'm feminine enough as it is!  
  
Kelsey: Isn't Barbie blond?  
  
Kia: Okay, so I'm the mulatto version...  
  
Rei: Touya...here is your princess dress! -presents with great aplomb-  
  
Kelsey: Like what...ghetto Barbie?  
  
Touya: ...This is NOT dignified. -goes to change-  
  
Rei: Most girls DREAM of such a beautiful thing!  
  
Kia: With glitter and wings.  
  
Kelsey: Ghetto Barbie-wannabe Barbie?  
  
Kia: x.x Never mind.  
  
Rei: Suzuki!  
  
Suzuki: -back to the mirror-  
  
Rei: SUZUKI!  
  
Suzuki: Hm?  
  
Touya: -reemerges in Princess dress- ...This...is so humiliating...  
  
Hiei: -wearing squeaky suit- Shut up.  
  
Rei: Here's your INCREDIBLE and WONDERFUL and PRAISE-WORTHY costume! -hands incredible armor-  
  
Suzuki: I get to be even MORE beautiful! PRAISE me!  
  
Rei: -bows-  
  
Kia: Can we get this over with?  
  
Rei: As soon as Jinny puts on his tights…-holds up white tights-  
  
Jin: ...  
  
Kia: He's a man...a man in tights! -dances-  
  
Kelsey: Tight tights! -dances with-  
  
Kia: They may think he's a pansy...  
  
Jin: …-sweatdrop-  
  
Kelsey: XD Just put 'em on, Jin.  
  
Jin: -puts them on-  
  
Kelsey: I love this.  
  
Kia: -not speaking...for fear of laughing-  
Rei: And now the GLORIOUS and BELOVED Suzaku will make his REGAL entrance, INCREDIBLY prepared to GALLANTLY direct you lot!  
  
Hiei: He's not beloved.  
  
Kia: And he's not very regal or gallant...  
  
Suzaku: I am all of that and INCREDIBLY GLORIOUS!  
  
Suzuki: And I am incredibly GORGEOUS! Ph34r my b34uty!  
  
Rei: Suzaku!  
  
Suzaku: Yes! It is I!  
  
Rei: BEHOLD!  
  
Kia: x.x Cut the theatrics, already!  
  
Rei: Maksaka, baka!  
  
Suzaku: My GLORIOUS assistant has made a FANTASTIC rhyme! It is now time for the MARVELOUS beginning!  
  
Kelsey: ....when do we get paid?  
  
Suzaku: Once you're finished.  
  
Kelsey: ... Okay. Start this thing!  
  
Suzaku: You may begin! -grand pose-  
  
Kelsey: ....uh...DIRECT us, since you are the DIRECTOR.  
  
Kia: Dear god...  
  
Suzaku: Quite right! Slumber party girls, Sparkle Faerie, and Ganny, off the stage!  
  
Kia: ...SPARKLE faerie...?  
  
Kelsey: bounces offstage  
  
Suzaku: Cue Link...aaaaand...ACTION!  
  
Jin: Hello. My name is Link and I am a man in tights.  
  
Kia: Whoo!  
  
Kelsey: SEXY!  
  
Suka: -Hello, Link.-  
  
Jin: stares at the dog ...Uh...hi. And I have an enemy named Gandalf.  
  
Suzaku: That's GANONDORF.  
  
Kelsey: Gandalf could still kick your ass.  
  
Kia: -holds up sign: We are not responsible for any character references that are not ours. Sorry!-  
  
Jin: ...Ganondorf. Recently, he's returned and says he's all reformed...but I don't believe him! So I'm going to stalk him like a groupie!  
  
Kelsey: Nice sign.  
  
Kia: Thanks.  
  
Rei: Don't forget the sugar!  
  
Suzuki: -admiring himself in the mirror- I'm so pretty...oh, so pretty...  
  
Jin: Sugar? Pixi stix? -perks up-  
  
Kelsey: Swizzzzzzle?!  
  
Kia: Caaaandy!  
  
Kelsey: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! -dances-  
  
Hiei: ...  
  
Rei: CONTINUE!  
  
Jin: Where'd I leave off?  
  
Rei: Stalking Ganondorf like a deranged groupie with too much hormone.  
  
Jin: Right. So now I shall begin!  
  
Suzuki: -playing flute for the Pierres-  
  
Pierres: -wiggle-  
  
Kia: o.O Kelsey...what are they doing here?  
  
Kelsey: They got lonely, and needed money to pay their rent.  
  
Kia: They need to live with us!  
  
Suzuki: o.o Hell, no! My poor house!  
  
Suzaku: Straying off-subject here...  
  
Kelsey: They found a nice apartment.  
  
Rei: WASH, my pretties, WASH! -maniacal laughter-  
  
Kia: Well, we DID adopt them...  
  
Jin: -listening and dancing to catchy tune-  
  
Kelsey: -dances-  
  
Jin: He wasn't doing anything that evil...I mean, Kelsey was the one who killed #3!  
  
Kia: Oh, yeah...forgot about that...  
  
Kelsey: whistles  
  
Jin: So I decided to sneak into his house at night!  
  
Suzaku: Cue night ninja stealth scene!  
  
Jin: -clinging to ceiling-  
  
Kia: Spider man...spider man...  
  
Suzuki: -curled up with Hiei- Pie...no...bad Snape...horrible...magenta poodles...mm, pineapple…-trying to eat Hiei's hair-  
  
Hiei: Squeak. Goddamn squeak. -looking murderous-  
  
Jin: C'mon, ALREADY!  
  
Rei: Ooh. Kinky.  
  
Suzuki: Macarena time! -drags Kelsey and Kia out and starts dancing-  
  
Kia: ...What the hell...ooh, Macarena! -dances-  
  
Kelsey: Whaaat? …-blink-...dance, pretties! -macarenas- All this time under your bed...  
  
Kia: What's under the bed?  
  
Jin: -falls off ceiling-  
  
Suzuki: o.o Ah, Link! So nice to see you...all…-glances at Kia and Kelsey and Hiei- alone...  
  
Kelsey: I'm just part of the wall. Don't mind me.  
  
Kia: Yeah, and I'm the nightlight.  
  
Kelsey: -hums spy music and presses flat against wall-  
  
Suzuki: -shrugs- Anyway...I have...something for you..  
  
Jin: But my birthday was last week...  
  
Kia: It was? Happy Belated Birthday!  
  
Hiei: You're a nightlight. Shut up and glow.  
  
Suzuki: -hands Jin a card- I'm sorry! I was such a bastard to you and I even volunteered at the soup kitchen to repent...I saw the Mime there yesterday, by the way...  
  
Kia: My god, he's supposed to be out of the country...  
  
Kelsey: I guess they kicked him out?  
  
Jin: ...Uh...thanks. -aside to imaginary audience- But I wasn't fooled...so when he was invited to Zelda's party, I decided to snoop around...  
  
Suzaku: Cue SMASHING Slumber Party!  
  
Kelsey: PILLOW FIGHT! tackles Shishi/Malon  
  
Shishi: ...Alas, the woman of my dreams has taken the iniative and--  
  
Kia: Mind out of the gutter, Pretty-boy!!  
  
Kelsey: -thwaps Kia with a pillow- Aren't you supposed to be hovering around Link; giving him hints about very obvious things?  
  
Kia: He's right above your heads, spying on you, but pretend I didn't say anything.  
  
Rei: -munches popcorn-  
  
Touya: -glowering-  
  
Kelsey: Sooooo, Touy- I mean, ZELDA! Who do YOOOOU have a crush on? -giggle-  
  
Touya: …-through gritted teeth- LINK.  
  
Kelsey: -hysterical laughter-  
  
Touya: Oh, shut up, you both like him too!  
  
Shishi: I love Kel...err...Saria!  
  
Kelsey: Oh...oh, that's right…-sigh-  
  
Kia: x.x  
  
Rei: You know, that's just WRONG.  
  
Kia: It really is...you sick perv.  
  
Shishi: I didn't mean it like that!  
  
Kelsey: Just because he looks good in a dress and you don't?! -throws pillow of DOOM-  
  
Shishi: Sooo...what about you, Ganondorf? Who do YOU like?  
  
Suzuki: -squeezing Hiei- I had a love once...and then she broke my funnel and I got all pissed off and made her turn evil and try to kill everyone later on...ah, sweet love...  
  
Hiei: ...  
  
Kelsey: Aw...  
  
Suzuki: Everytime I think of her...it makes me feel...  
  
Jin: Yes?  
  
Suzuki: It makes me feel...  
  
Jin: YEEEEES?  
  
Kelsey:  
  
Suzuki: WAAAAAAAH! -bursts into tears and starts munching Hiei's hair- I want PINEAPPLE!  
  
Kelsey: Oh, it's okay! -hugs-  
  
Hiei: Get him away from me.  
  
Kelsey: You dissoluted bastard. Be nice.  
  
Touya: ...  
  
Suzuki: -sniffle- Heeey...I have an idea...that's to DIE FOR!  
  
Kelsey: Should we be...afraid..?  
  
Jin: YES!  
  
Suzuki: TIME WARP!  
  
Kelsey: It's just a jump to the left...;  
  
Kia: And then a step to the riiiiight…-can't resist-  
  
Shishi: Put your hands on your hips...  
  
Kelsey: And bring your knees in tiiiiii-iight!  
  
Touya: But it's the pelvic thrust...  
  
Rei: That really drives you insaaa-aaa-aaane! -jumps onstage-  
  
Suzuki, Kia, Touya, and Shishi: Let's do the Time Warp agaaaain!  
  
Kelsey and Rei: Let's do the Time Warp agaaaain!  
  
Suzaku: Absolutely INSPIRATIONAL...  
  
Suka: -Someone take his thesaurus. Please.-  
  
Kia: Already tried.  
  
Kelsey: Where does he keep it?  
  
Rei: In his happy place.  
  
Jin: Okay...so that was weird...but he's going to snap any day now! You may think I'm crazy, but I'M not crazy! I'll make you see! I'll make you SEE! MUAHAHAHAHA-  
  
Kia: -whaps Jin-  
  
Jin: x.x -thud-  
  
Kelsey: WOO!  
  
Kia: o.o Oops.  
  
Shishi: Hit him a bit too hard, didn't you?  
  
Kia: You know, the old men in tights used to be a LOT tougher...  
  
Kelsey: -smothers Shishi with a pillow-  
  
Shishi: x.x  
  
Kelsey: ..is this the end?  
  
Touya: I certainly hope so..  
  
Suzaku: Cut! And that's a wrap, people!  
  
Kelsey: -goes back to smothering Shishi- I love to hate him. 


End file.
